Apparently, I'm doing nothing with my life

[EricKei]

There are no small jobs--just small paychecks.

And there are many Real Jobs (tm) that don't pay in cash at all, but reward you in other ways, like volunteering, being a stay-at-home parent, etc. ...Is it something you do more or less every day in the same basic way? Are you held accountable for results, either by your own standards or by someone else? Does someone else benefit from what you do? Have you accomplished something when you're done?

If the answer to one or more of these was "yes", it sounds like a Real Job to me, whether you get cash money for it or not.

[Shalom]

It's amazing that someone too stupid to tell the difference between a library and a college feels like they've got the high ground in ANY conversation.

Good point.

From discussing it with Lois Bujold, she got told a few years ago that authors were another group that needed to get a real job ... then she pointed out that she is in the 20% or so that actually makes a living as an author [IE not needing a spouse or a job to support herself, including paying for her own medical insurance.] and was one of the top award winners of SF/F writers. .

She should have told them that she in fact had a "real job" before starting to write: she mentioned (possibly on-list, or in one of her books' introductions) that she had been a pharmacy technician at the time.

[Tama]

Wasn't Nicholas Sparks also a pharm. tech at some point?

[Gimli]

My parents pulled that on me for a while. Still try to.

Yes, I have my degrees (double major got me a BA/BS). Yes, I'm certified to teach. No, there's not a lot of job openings in my field.

Please leave me in peace while I try to move on in my life and do something productive, parents. Please?

Nothing wrong with retail if you can stand it. Nothing wrong with wanting to do better in it or leave it behind either. Experience is experience.

I don't get that from my folks so much as I do from my rich-bitch snob of a sister-in-law who never misses an opportunity to tell my mother, out of earshot of my brother, of course, that I'm the family deadbeat and everyone needs to 'stop enabling' me. For the record, I have a college degree but my retail job pays better than the profession I went to college for. I am also a recently divorced woman with a crap-ton of debt and two school aged children that I share custody of with their father. I'm profoundly grateful to have my job, which I enjoy BTW and which pays my bills. The 'enabling'? My parents allow me to use my mother's 13 year old car after she bought a new one around the time mine bit the dust and I share a house with one of my cousins but pay my share of the bills. That's the extent of the 'enabling'.

[Food Lady]

^ And all of that is common goings-on all over the country. Nothing wrong with that at all.

[Seshat]

Well, you can't win either way, because when you DO have a job, people complain about you and say "Why don't you get a REAL job?!?" Umm, I'd say any job where you get paid and pay taxes is a real job!

Some jobs that don't pay taxes are also real jobs. My husband is the carer for two disabled people, and - quite frankly - is on call 24/7, and works just as hard and as long hours as most people with "real jobs".

[Racket_Man]

From discussing it with Lois Bujold, she got told a few years ago that authors were another group that needed to get a real job ... then she pointed out that she is in the 20% or so that actually makes a living as an author [IE not needing a spouse or a job to support herself, including paying for her own medical insurance.] and was one of the top award winners of SF/F writers.

I wonder if the woman in the OP has NEVER heard of JK Rowling (ya know the woman who has more money than the Queen of England).

[downforit2008]

Well, you can't win either way, because when you DO have a job, people complain about you and say "Why don't you get a REAL job?!?" Umm, I'd say any job where you get paid and pay taxes is a real job!

Thankfully, these days, I have been getting customers at work saying that they are SO GRATEFUL for having me being able to work here so I could help them. My job involves pushing carts out of the parking lot a lot and yesterday, this one woman pulls up alongside me, rolls down her window, smiles at me and says that it must be awesome to be able to stay in such great shape with this workout. She wasn't being rude or sarcastic, so I grinned and said, "Yeah, I'm still wearing the same size of pants I wore in high school ten years ago!" I've been getting a lot of compliments and positive feedback on this, including a few who say that it's great having a job with a steady paycheck. But...there are still a few jerks out there like that woman at the bus stop that can really ruin your day with insensitive remarks.

[Seshat]

Every scientist working on the Cure for Cancer is supported by:
- a HUGE number of agricultural workers
- truckers and other transport workers shipping food
- people processing the food, and putting it on shelves to buy, and so forth
- ditto for clothing, furnishings, lab equipment, chemicals, etc
- road and other transport network maintenance
- information network maintenance (libraries and print, as well as computer-based)
- entertainment workers
- folks looking after his/her disabled, elderly, etc loved ones
- folks teaching his/her kids
- police, fire, other emergency personnel, medical personnel
- people looking after utilities, including the nasty ones (garbage, sewerage)
- anything I've forgotten
- the people supporting all the people above

So yeah. Being the Scientist Working On A Cure For Cancer might be a Real Job, but it takes a hell of a lot of other real jobs to support you!

[Phantasmagoria]

This thread has made me feel so much better!

I've been feeling really down after a relative commented this morning about me still living home in my mid-twenties and "having no job"

Actually, I'm doing my PhD, I work from home (research assistant), have a second casual job at a tourist attraction, and I'm living at home for one year so I can save up to pay for university accomodation next year. I also help out on my parents' farm.. you know, feeding, mucking out, fetching, carrying, building fences, moving cattle, tractor-driving, being human bird-scarer, that kind of thing, to try to make up a bit for my food and lodging.

But no... none of that even counts as a "job", not even a not-real job, just not a job at all :-( Way to make me feel like a winner :-(

[Rock Lobster]

You can't win either way. If you do work then you get grief about 'it's not a real job'. If you don't work then you get 'why don't you get a job you lazy bum'?

My dad finally got off my back when I got a good steady job and was able to move out on my own and pay my own bills. He finally realized that hey there are no jobs out there and he should be glad I am clothed and fed and have a roof over my head that I am paying for.

I realize I am not using my college degree but thousands of people aren't. My best friend has 2 bachelors and is licensed to teach but can only find a part time job at a grocery store. Took him months just to find that!

[Seshat]

I also help out on my parents' farm.. you know, feeding, mucking out, fetching, carrying, building fences, moving cattle, tractor-driving, being human bird-scarer, that kind of thing, to try to make up a bit for my food and lodging.

See? You're working on the cure for cancer!


Actually, I'm being philosophical, not sarcastic.

Parable:

A man walked through a cathedral that was under construction. He asked several people what they were doing.
The architects and engineers explained how they had designed the building, and were ensuring that it was built to specification.
The masons and their assistants talked about mixing mortar, carving stone, laying stone.
The glaziers and their assistants discussed selecting the right glass sand and dye, heating it correctly, cutting it to shape, leading the panels.
The roofers discussed roofing tile.
The carpenters talked about wood, and its grain, and selecting the perfect woods to complement the stone.

Finally he spoke to an elderly woman who was sweeping up after the masons. "And what are you doing?"
"I'm building a cathedral."


Gentlemen, Ladies: all of you. You are running a society.

[bainsidhe]

I used to work p/t at WM and am grateful no one was as straight-forward rude as this woman. I did have some well-meaning (yet misguided) comments about me finding a better job or getting an education. I'd smile sweetly and explain it was my 2nd job and it allowed me to pay off my debt and build a cushion in these tough times. And oh, I have a degree too, by the way. I'd get a "oh, good for you then" and a change of subject.

Some folks just look down on anyone in a service industry.

[Gaki]

Most people are really really shocked when they find out that I graduated with a 3.8 through the Honors Program of my college. I work in a gas station--who would know?

These two REALLY well-off folks came in and I have to say they were some of the nicest people and actually talked about how hard it was for people of my major to get jobs and they really appreciated the idea of going to school to actually LEARN rather than just for more money. It surprised me since they were wearing REALLY nice clothes (she had a full ankle-length real mink coat on) and they were FANTASTIC. I never get well-dressed people/corporate types who talk down to me. It's usually people who are in management positions in other places rather than corporate positions.

(Although I did have one guy who worked in insurance who one of my old CWs once called an asshole because he spoke down to her and told her that this was what she was going to be doing her whole life. She's a paralegal now.)

[protege]

You can't win either way. If you do work then you get grief about 'it's not a real job'. If you don't work then you get 'why don't you get a job you lazy bum'?

I lit into my mother once when she said something similar. Not about *me* mind you. No, she made a comment about how my dad needed to get "a real job."

Seriously? At the time, he was working *multiple* jobs. Yes, minimum wage and retail sucks, but if there's nothing else...would you rather he didn't work at all? Would you rather that the bills weren't getting paid on your salary alone? Yes mother, it would be nice that he could have picked up an 8-5 well-paying job. But, the job market here sucked after the 1980s recession and the mills closing. He couldn't even get an entry-level job...because he was overqualified in his field. Too many companies felt that if he was hired, he'd jump ship