Make sure to read all the following lines from Me in your very best Fluttershy voice, as that's exactly what I sound like right now, for a reason that will be explained in the punchline.
I was in Wal-Mart shopping after work today for supplies that will also be explained in the punchline, and decided to get myself a little treat to pass some time with, so after turning down a new Sims expansion (too expensive), a Captain America body pillow (too much chance of my dad looking at me funny), or a new Avengers action figure (there's never a Tony Stark doll, they're all Iron Man), I decided on a new hardback notebook. I do most of my writing on computer now, but I love notebooks, I always have. So I head to the aisle and there's two black women with what looks like a newborn there, which you'll see why I mention soon.
So I'm standing at the end of the aisle, looking at glitter glue and minding my own business, when I notice the woman carrying the baby coming closer, and I scoot away.
Woman 1 - Parental female.
Woman 2 - The same but different.
Me - Yay.
Woman 1: You see that pretty redheaded lady there, baby, aww. *smiles*
Me: Aw, thank you.
Woman 1: Wanna see the baby?
Me: *quickly scooting back* Oh, no, ma'am, thank you.
Woman 1: *abruptly hostile* Why are you scooching away from me for??
Me: Well I-
Woman 2: *charging over* What, you afraid we diseased or something??
Me: Actually, no-
Woman 1: It's cuz we black, that's why! You scared of us because we black! *suddenly sort of jumps at me with the baby* You even scared of the baby!
Me: *covering face and ducking back fast* Ma'am, please!
Woman 2: Ah ha, look at her run from the black people! What you scared of??
Me: I'm trying to protect your baby!
Woman 1: What you threatening my baby with??
Me: I have the flu! I'm trying to stay away from your baby and you keep pushing her at me!
Woman 1: *suddenly yanking back like I'm on fire* YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU GONNA KILL PEOPLE! YOU STUPID BITCH! *turns and flees, still screaming*
Now go back and read this knowing that I was standing almost fifteen feet away, covering my face with my arm, holding two bottles of flu medicine, while pale, shivering, and sniffling. So yeah. I don't get what that was all about.
But after they all ran screaming, I picked up a very nice red hardback notebook and a new pack of pens to play with while I'm laid up and recovering. I really didn't want to go to the store, but it came on at work and, well, no other options. Stupid flu bug.
I was in Wal-Mart shopping after work today for supplies that will also be explained in the punchline, and decided to get myself a little treat to pass some time with, so after turning down a new Sims expansion (too expensive), a Captain America body pillow (too much chance of my dad looking at me funny), or a new Avengers action figure (there's never a Tony Stark doll, they're all Iron Man), I decided on a new hardback notebook. I do most of my writing on computer now, but I love notebooks, I always have. So I head to the aisle and there's two black women with what looks like a newborn there, which you'll see why I mention soon.
So I'm standing at the end of the aisle, looking at glitter glue and minding my own business, when I notice the woman carrying the baby coming closer, and I scoot away.
Woman 1 - Parental female.
Woman 2 - The same but different.
Me - Yay.
Woman 1: You see that pretty redheaded lady there, baby, aww. *smiles*
Me: Aw, thank you.
Woman 1: Wanna see the baby?
Me: *quickly scooting back* Oh, no, ma'am, thank you.
Woman 1: *abruptly hostile* Why are you scooching away from me for??
Me: Well I-
Woman 2: *charging over* What, you afraid we diseased or something??
Me: Actually, no-
Woman 1: It's cuz we black, that's why! You scared of us because we black! *suddenly sort of jumps at me with the baby* You even scared of the baby!
Me: *covering face and ducking back fast* Ma'am, please!
Woman 2: Ah ha, look at her run from the black people! What you scared of??
Me: I'm trying to protect your baby!
Woman 1: What you threatening my baby with??
Me: I have the flu! I'm trying to stay away from your baby and you keep pushing her at me!
Woman 1: *suddenly yanking back like I'm on fire* YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU GONNA KILL PEOPLE! YOU STUPID BITCH! *turns and flees, still screaming*
Now go back and read this knowing that I was standing almost fifteen feet away, covering my face with my arm, holding two bottles of flu medicine, while pale, shivering, and sniffling. So yeah. I don't get what that was all about.
But after they all ran screaming, I picked up a very nice red hardback notebook and a new pack of pens to play with while I'm laid up and recovering. I really didn't want to go to the store, but it came on at work and, well, no other options. Stupid flu bug.

). Never thought I would hear about reverse racism though.


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