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I Have a Beef with Highway Crosser

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  • #1

    I Have a Beef with Highway Crosser

    I was driving on US 64 to go to a project in Raleigh. I noticed the cars ahead of me suddenly stopping. Apparently, a local farmer accidentally let a cow loose. Thankfully, Bossie was able to make it across without becoming brisket or getting creamed. Hitting a cow would be udder disaster for a car and the cow would become dead meat.

    Remember, even rural roads can be dangerous. Drive carefully, lives are at steak.

    Enough of this tripe. I'm done milking these puns for now.
    This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

    I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    *shudders and hoofs it out of here* That was really, incredibly cheesy you know.
    You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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    • #3
      Yep, you can't always steer around an obstacle, and live obstacles can react in an unpredictable fashion if you honk your horn at them. Ruminate on that for a while.
      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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      • #4
        Took me a second to bovine your intention with this one. That poor mooron is lucky his cow didn't end up as someone's leather Jersey. Fortunately for both of them, she made it out of there whole.
        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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        • #5
          Whenever I drive along rural roads, I ox myself "moo I feel lucky?" and make sure it's safe before I'm suede into stampeding down on the throttle. I'd much rather face the horns of a dilemma than those of a bull!
          This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
          I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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          • #6
            It'd sure put a cow flop hat on your day.
            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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            • #7
              Hay now, quit milking out this thread, it's just pain cheesy, Be curdous -it's whey past the time to put it out to pasture.



              (did I win)
              Last edited by Rosco the Iroc; 05-06-2017, 12:58 PM.
              AkaiKitsune
              Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

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              • #8
                You've all got a hide with this bull.

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                • #9
                  Are you suggesting we chuck this in, that we've ground on long enough? Have you got the rump?
                  This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                  I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Put a steak in it!
                    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Hey, I got no problem chewing the fat...or the cud. If'n ya can't stomach that one -- well, you got three more!

                      Put a steak in it!
                      That only works on the vampcow.
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                      • #12
                        It's good that we can hash out these disagreements, no matter how corny the puns get.
                        This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                        I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          If you can't take the meat, get out of the kvetching.
                          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            I hope the farmer got grilled about letting his cow out.
                            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Do we really need to have an udder cow over this?

                              I mean, here in Greensboro we have roads where we have to watch for geese . . . hitting one of those would be most fowl.
                              Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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