Nothing says "cool" like...

[blas]

I've never been the type of girl to care much about what a guy drives....so long as he has his own vehicle....

Except of course, if he's driving a monster truck or a little penis extender, then I'll be too busy making fun of him to give him a chance.

[raw456]

Why do these wankers insists on adding spoilers to cars when they are never going to be driven fast enough to warrant it? I see lots of them over here that look like pieces of old Mechano sets stuck together and bolted to the boot.

My pet peeve though, is Pop-off valves (makes a pop.shisshh kinda sound when they change gear) sounds like the car is farting. And they have to get the revs high to make it work anyway, so here you have Mr Wanker flooring his POS down the street just to make his car fart! It's hilarious to watch

I have blown several idiots off at traffic lights in my older cars that looked like shit, but had it where it counts

The looks on their faces when you get to the next set of lights and they dont want to play anymore? Priceless

[crazylegs]

Pop-off valves (makes a pop.shisshh kinda sound when they change gear) sounds like the car is farting. And they have to get the revs high to make it work anyway, so here you have Mr Wanker flooring his POS down the street just to make his car fart! It's hilarious to watch

Heh, one chap here had his mis-set so every time it went off it sounded like a gun shot (well, to people who have never fired a weapon that is), shortly after they get pulled over by armed police!

[protege]

It would probably STILL blow these guys out of the water. EVEN in the sexy department.

There's a 1959 Radio-Flyer sitting in my garage right now. Even loaded down with tools and various car parts...I'm sure it has a higher top end than many of the "customized" rides around here

Seriously though, nearly everything they do is for show--many of the mods they perform actually *hurt* performance. By that, I mean something like lowering a car by cutting springs...with the resultant shitty handling (bouncing around) in curves. Also not helping...is ripping out the interior for "weight savings," and then slapping 200 pounds of ugly body kit and rear wing on Further, slapping on a fart can does *not* give you more horsepower--if you swap out the entire exhaust system, you might see a small gain. But, just "nipping the tip," won't do dick (pun intended!), except make you look like an idiot and annoy the shit out of other drivers.

And yes, this shit annoys me. Why? You can't even go into the local auto-parts store for certain service items (filters, oil, etc.)...yet you can go in there, and find enough shit to make your car look like a walk-on for those stupid "Fast & Furious" movies

[mikoyan29]

There used to be a website out there where you could tally your ricer horsepower:
The fart plug easily adds 5 to 10 horsepower
Yellow wires - 20
Each Kanji Character Adds 5
Red Brakes - 10
The Wing - At least 200....

But you get the point...

[Bandit]

Going through WV at oh-dark-thirty, I came across a Neon with 4 grapefruit cannons on the back *and* a park bench on the trunk.

Gawd only knows what else was in there.

To me, the funny thing was the hood was flat. With the Neon, the base version had a flat hood. The Sport/Xpresso version with the bigger, more powerful engine had a bulge. What this idiot paid for crap would have paid for the bigger motor.

FWIW, the Xpresso was a fun car to drive. Sucked on the highways because 5th was too short, but in town and on the track, a blast.

B