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  • A van person

    No offense to people who drive large vehicles like minivans and SUVs. I'm sure most of you are courteous, responsible drivers. But, somehow, this is the kind of thing I can only see a van/SUV driver doing. Plus some people around here think they're driving a tank when they're behind the wheel of one of these large-ish vehicles.

    So I'm stopping at the local Wally World Supercenter to replenish my supply of Clear American Sparkling Mineral Water. I turn down an aisle in the parking lot and see a couple of empty spaces right next to each other. I signal to turn into one of them.

    Alas, it's not to be, because here comes a white Caravan tearing down the aisle the wrong way (the parking spaces are angled and there are arrows on the pavement dictating direction of travel. This particular aisle was one way only--the way I was going) and then pulling as tight a left turn as the vehicle can muster. Unfortunately, this isn't tight enough, because the caravan was going the wrong friggen' way for the space it was pulling into, so as a result the Caravan is taking up two parking spaces.

    I have to go further down the aisle to find a spot, and then trudge to the store through the mist.

    I pass the parked Caravan, which is still taking up two parking spaces. The driver is your stereotypical soccer mom, and she's got her three kids along with her. I overhear say to somebody else (not me) "Sorry, I didn't do a very good job parking."

    I sincerely regret not piping up and saying "Really? I thought you did a very good job parking--like an asshole."
    Last edited by Irving Patrick Freleigh; 12-13-2009, 12:51 AM. Reason: too=/=do
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    I would have said it! As long as she didn't know which car I was driving...
    "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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    • #3
      Sorry, I see that more from Cadillac and Porsche drivers than anything else. Saw a Caddy the other day at the mall taking up 4 spots.
      "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

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      • #4
        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
        No offense to people who drive large vehicles like minivans and SUVs. I'm sure most of you are courteous, responsible drivers.
        Anecdotal and personal evidence would suggest the contrary.

        ^-.-^
        Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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        • #5
          Quoth Crossbow View Post
          Sorry, I see that more from Cadillac and Porsche drivers than anything else. Saw a Caddy the other day at the mall taking up 4 spots.
          There's absolutely no reason (short of the driver being an asshole) for that. 4 spaces (parked crosswise) is enough to hold a bobtail highway tractor - and if I can find end-to-end spots, I can park it in 2. Even with a 53 foot trailer I only need 9 spots (and I stay to the edge of the lot where nobody else wants to park).

          At rest areas (with the "pull-through" angled parking), I've seen a 4-wheeler parked against the fence on the "entry" side, fouling access to half a dozen spots (since you need to be up against the fence in order to turn wide enough to get into them). Of course, they were too much of a "speshul snowflake" to use the (closer) car parking lot. One car using up (by blocking people's access to) 6 parking spots designed for 18 wheelers takes a severe case of fecocerebral entitlement.
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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          • #6
            I love Wally World's Clear American sparkling water.. (favorite is the Black Cherry) It's tastier than pop. Probably better for me than pop too.

            I hate the drivers that block access to the handicap spots by parking too far over the lines, and the ones who think the space that has the diagonal lines on them that sometimes have "NO PARKING/wheelchair access" painted on it is a special parking space just for them. I caught a woman parking in one of those once. She was actually handicapped (apparently had either a balance problem, or was just not able to walk far) She didnt have a placard, and if she did have the placard, she didnt read the handy instructions they give you that explain where you can and cant park, and that you have to have the placard visible whenever you park in handicap.

            She still shouldnt have been parking in the wheelchair access space. Went off on me when I pointed that out to her. There was actually a handicap spot on the other side of the aisle that was closer to the door that was empty. She wouldnt move her car.

            When I came back out, the parking ticket guy had blocked her car in while he was writing her a ticket. She fell down yelling at him. Felt sorry for her because it was obvious she needed to park in a handicap spot, but she really needed to get herself the placard and actually park in a real handicap spot and not in the wheelchair access spots.

            People like that tick me off. My mom needs to use a wheelchair sometimes, and it ticks me off when I'm bringing my mom back out to the car and some jerk has parked their car 4 inches from my car on the side where my mom needs to get to. That's when mom's wheelchair gets dragged down the side of their paint job (accidentally of course...how careless of me...)

            I'm especially sensitive to the handicap parking and people who abuse it, because I'm slowly becoming disabled from MS and someday will have to get myself a placard. I am NOT looking forward to that.

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            • #7
              Was at a shopping mall a while back where I saw an RV taking up 12 parking spaces! This particular shopping center actually has a dedicated RV section, but apparently that wasn't good enough for this douche.
              Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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              • #8
                Quoth bhskittykatt View Post
                Was at a shopping mall a while back where I saw an RV taking up 12 parking spaces! This particular shopping center actually has a dedicated RV section, but apparently that wasn't good enough for this douche.
                WTF? An RV is smaller than a long-wheelbase highway tractor with a 53 foot dry van trailer, and (as I mentioned before) that takes up 9 spaces. How can an RV take a third more space than an 18 wheeler?
                Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                • #9
                  Quoth wolfie View Post
                  How can an RV take a third more space than an 18 wheeler?
                  It can...if the driver is a freaking idiot

                  But, people like that will get what's coming sooner or later. Not everyone is as tolerant of their antics. For example, at one of the local malls, people act like they don't know how to park when its snowy. They'll park out in the aisles, or across 2 or 3 spaces, and then can't understand why someone would leave a "learn to park, asshole" note under their wiper At least most of the time, notes are the only thing left. I do know one car, that got much more than that. Not only was a note left, but someone had let the air out of the tires. As much as I don't condone such things...the person kinda deserved it. Don't want someone messing with your ride? Then don't be an idiot!
                  Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

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                  • #10
                    I don't condone this method, but it's so appropriate to the topic at hand.

                    Also, I've seen the double-park so much around here it's not funny. I park better than these people, and I haven't even taken my road test yet *boggles*.
                    Those who are loudest about their qualifications, tend to have the least merit to their claims.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth protege View Post
                      It can...if the driver is a freaking idiot

                      But, people like that will get what's coming sooner or later. Not everyone is as tolerant of their antics. For example, at one of the local malls, people act like they don't know how to park when its snowy. They'll park out in the aisles, or across 2 or 3 spaces, and then can't understand why someone would leave a "learn to park, asshole" note under their wiper At least most of the time, notes are the only thing left. I do know one car, that got much more than that. Not only was a note left, but someone had let the air out of the tires. As much as I don't condone such things...the person kinda deserved it. Don't want someone messing with your ride? Then don't be an idiot!
                      One of my coworkers parks like an asshole. She drives a high-end car (I forget which at the moment), and ALWAYS parks so she's taking up two spaces end-to-end. (Not side-by-side.) When I called her on it once, she told me she refuses to park normally because when she does, someone damages her grille.

                      "That still doesn't make it right. A cop could come along and ticket you for that."
                      "So let them. I'll pay the ticket and keep on doing it."

                      Irritates the hell out of me. I wouldn't condone keying her car, or letting the air out of her tires, but there are times when I wish someone would do it. I may have to go on youparklikeanasshole.com and print out an infraction form to have handy for the next time I see her doing it. Or just to have some handy in any case, because the world is full of assholes, and assholes that park like one.
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                      • #12
                        I've dealt with this in two forms. I've seen the idiots that takes up X number of spaces with their cars, I've seen the person straddling a 4-square shape of spaces with their car before.

                        What I've also seen is how people park next to curbs. At my school, especially near the dorms, the roads are one-way and just wide enough so people can park close enough to unload from the cars and then pull away, while traffic still flows through.

                        I came back from Thanksgiving break and pulled Preggers (who should be full-term by now...been almost a year since my Hyundai was looked at...) up along the curb so there was just enough room for other cars to go around me while I unloaded the stuff I brought home for break. I come back and find this Mercury van snuggled up so close to my front that I couldn't pull away, and they were still a good three feet into the road, making it impossible for any cars to go around them, even my tiny car. I had to sit there and wait for it to move, because there was no way I was going to risk scraping up my clear coat trying to go around and realizing it was a tight squeeze.

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                        • #13
                          As much as I dislike people who park like morons...I can't possibly condone or approve of vandalism as a way of getting revenge. I'd be enraged if someone keyed by car or scratched the hell out of the doors just because I was inconsiderate. A note under the wiper, sure. But resorting to juvenile vandalism? We're better than that.
                          Gun control is hitting your target; recycling is reloading your brass.
                          "It's not our fault the Business School makes you buy those crappy Gateways!"
                          "The queue is..."

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                          • #14
                            I've had a few times where somebody in a van/hummer or some big ass car straddles TWO parking spaces like this!


                            I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                            Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                            Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                            • #15
                              I was at a local mall last week to get my watch battery replaced, and one asshole put their car partially into the aisle, enough to where if someone wasn't paying attention when turning into that lane, that car would have been hit.

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