OH DEER! aka Mom killed Bambi This Morning

[ralerin]

The turkey happened to my mother on her way to Canada once. Bunch of wild turkeys flew out into the middle of the highway, she hit one and screamed. Scared the living daylights out of my dad who was sleeping in the front next to her.

The headlights were cracked and the hood was dented but that was it.

[Chrismor]

Once had a pheasant go almost kamikase on my dads car. Driving down the country on holiday, along one of the Irish national primary roads (read: not quite country lane) when a pheasant, who had been sitting in the middle of the road, minding it's own business, decided to get out of the way of the car... by taking off and flying towards it. It passed within inches of the windscreen.

C.

[PepperElf]

boyfriend said he knew one officer's wife who put the deer into the back of her SUV after she'd hit & killed it. not sure why... maybe to take it to the butcher?

if you ever do that - verify it's really dead first. Deer don't like regaining consciousness in the back of a moving SUV.

[blas]

Been there, done that.

And a bunch of turkeys live here as well. Almost every morning it's a turkey obstacle course as they take their morning walk.

A few Fridays ago, I was driving to the gym at about 1 or 2 in the afternoon. There are some "cliffs" (area that was blown up to make the road, not very high) and a deer JUMPED off of the cliff and right into the road right in front of me. I nearly died. I came within inches of it. I hit the brakes so hard my purse smacked the dashboard and my seatbelt tugged my abdnomen so hard....

[BlaqueKatt]

boyfriend said he knew one officer's wife who put the deer into the back of her SUV after she'd hit & killed it. not sure why... maybe to take it to the butcher?

if you ever do that - verify it's really dead first. Deer don't like regaining consciousness in the back of a moving SUV.

and in some states they need to be tagged by a police officer-otherwise you just "poached" a deer-and huge fines/jail time abound.

[XCashier]

There are lots of wild spaces with loads of wild animals around where we live. I drive extra-carefully when I'm driving out in the boonies, especially at night. I only wish the animals were as careful.

One memorable day, we were driving home and a flock of starlings decided to fly in front of the car. I was able to slow down and stop safely, and the whole flock passed. After the last bird passed, I drove off...only to have the flock circle around and fly in front of my car again!!! Unfortunately, I heard several thumps on my car before I could stop again.

I've been lucky with deer, though. So far I've either always seen them within safe stopping time, or they've stayed put at the side of the road instead of running in front of my car. Of course, now that I've said that, I've jinxed myself...!

[Chromatix]

Obligatory summarised joke:

"Defrost the chicken."

[wolfie]

Obligatory summarised joke:

"Defrost the chicken."

And don't go for lunch between loading and firing the cannon. Another one (besides the frozen chicken) that I've heard involved more damage than expected after a "lunch while the cannon was loaded" break. On reviewing the slow-motion film, they saw that the chicken flying out of the cannon was accompanied by a cat which had decided to have lunch.

[Bella_Vixen]

I still freak out about the deer that hit me last year.

I was driving out to my Mom's and was less then a mile (actually only a block or two) when I saw either a fawn or a doe on the side of the road coming out of the woods. I slowed down as much as possible (speed limit is 55-65 and there was a truck behind me) and swerved a bit, but the damn thing hit me. Luckily it didn't have antlers, or else it would've broken my window.

Dented both doors on the driver's side and knocked my mirror out of alignment. Had deer fur stuck in the mirror case for months.

On the plus side, it did improve my car's alignment.

[kpzra]

I hate winter, it makes it harder to see the moose who wander onto the roads. On my drive to work lately there has been a black bear on the highway too, that one is fun. Makes me wonder why it's not hibernating yet.

[Draco]

As it was in the dead center of the lane and traffic couldn't get around it, I ended up moving it over into the grass by the front legs.

Then we pulled into a day care just a few feet up the road that where the parking lot was lit somewhat and I had to get back out again to check the damage.

For some reason, my mind wasn't making those as different events, so my first reaction was "You drug the dead baby deer in front of the daycare?" That'd be one way to traumatize those kids!

Anyway! I'm glad both you and your mom are alright. It's amazing what animals so lithe and relatively light can really do to a car, isn't it?

[Sapphire Silk]

Years ago, I hit a deer while on my way to a home health case I was working. It was nearly 11pm when it happened. Deer came out of nowhere and bam! It was November, so it was probably a mating season thing.

Fortunately, the house I was driving to was only a few hundred yards up the road (we were Waaaay out in the country), but there wasn't enough light to see the damage other than my shattered windshield. By morning, the car wouldn't start, so I called a tow.

Driver wanted to know where I hit the deer. I pointed out the field to him, and he actually got out and spent about 15 minutes looking for the deer. He didn't find it. He was very disappointed.

[Shalom]

boyfriend said he knew one officer's wife who put the deer into the back of her SUV after she'd hit & killed it. not sure why... maybe to take it to the butcher?

if you ever do that - verify it's really dead first. Deer don't like regaining consciousness in the back of a moving SUV.

I've heard something like this before. There were a series of three LPs by Woody Allen in the early sixties.

Here's a story you're not going to believe. I shot a moose once. I was hunting in upstate New York and I shot a moose.

And I strap him onto the fender of my car, and I'm driving along the West Side Highway. But what I don't realize was that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased his scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I'm driving through the Holland Tunnel and the moose wakes up.

So I'm driving with a live moose on my fender and the moose is signaling for a turn. And there's a law in New York State against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. And I'm very panicky. And then it hits me — some friends of mine are having a costume party. I'll go, I'll take the moose, I'll ditch him at the party. It won't be my responsibility. So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door and the moose is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say, "Hello, you know the Solomons."

We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Some guy was trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half.

Twelve o'clock comes, they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First prize goes to the Berkowitzes, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second.

The moose is furious. He and the Berkowitzes lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious. Now, I figure, here's my chance. I grab the moose, strap him on my fender, and shoot back to the woods. But -- I've got the Berkowitzes.

So I'm driving along with two Jewish people on my fender. And there's a law in New York State. . . Tuesdays, Thursdays, and especially Saturdays.

The following morning, the Berkowitzes wake up in the woods in a moose suit. Mr. Berkowitz is shot, stuffed, and mounted at the New York Athletic Club. And the joke is on them, 'cause it's restricted.

("Restricted" means "Jews not admitted", by the way. This was long before such discrimination was illegal. Groucho Marx famously quipped, on being denied admission to a restricted club, "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member".)

[Trishlovesdolphins]

That really sucks! I'm glad you're ok though. I've heard of people getting killed from hitting a deer.