Deities DAMN you, get out of the road!

[KiaKat]

There are some days I hate living on my street. It's a fairly typical South Brooklyn street, in that it's one-way, quiet, tree-lined, and filled with families.

Except today and tomorrow are a holiday of some sort. So school is out. And the kids are making me call them names I don't normally associate with ten year olds.

The street is arranged oddly. Diagram below.



_____________Avenue
bigbldg |
houses * where the kids play
houses /\ direction of traffic
houses |
houses |
houses |
______|_______Avenue
houses |
houses |
dead end



So today, I'm driving up the street, on my way to work. *just* on time. The northern corners each have a large building on them, almost the only large buildings on the block. One of them has a gang of kids that live there. These kids are OBNOXIOUS. They play football, soccer, rugby, cricket, stickball, baseball, just about anything they can think of in the middle of the street, or right at the edge of the sidewalk. They don't care if they hit anyone's car, or if their ball goes into traffic (they'll just run out and grab the ball, whether or not there's a car coming). Their latest method of annoying the piss out of the adults is to stand in the middle of the street when there's a car coming, and slowly amble out of the way once the driver lays on the horn. Or in today's case, until the driver starts to unbuckle and get out of the car.

Today it was cricket. I watched one of them hit a ball into a car, then amble over to retrieve it, and start to set up another bowl, as I'm sitting there, waiting for them to get out of my way. They're lucky all I did was inch forward until they moved. They're also lucky I was going slowly enough that the one who decided LAST FUCKING MINUTE to dart in front of my car wasn't in any real danger of being hit.

If they're there tomorrow, I'm leaving early so I can demand one of them go get their English-speaking parent. Because I'm fucking sick of this, and I refuse to be bullied by a bunch of arrogant, pissant kids who think they own the asphalt.

Go play in the godsdamned playground TWO FUCKING BLOCKS AWAY.

[Aethian]

Cant you call a cop on them for being vandals?

[KiaKat]

Vandalism doesn't get the cops out here. I learned that when my car was smashed in.

But if the kids are there tomorrow, I will demand to see one of their parents, then tell said parent that if their son is in the street again, I will be calling the police and reporting an unsupervised child in the middle of the street.

I'd think that could work.

[Ironclad Alibi]

If they're there tomorrow, I'm leaving early so I can demand one of them go get their English-speaking parent.

But if the kids are there tomorrow, I will demand to see one of their parents, then tell said parent that if their son is in the street again, I will be calling the police and reporting an unsupervised child in the middle of the street.

Threaten to call INS instead. That might work better.

[MaseMan]

I find a light tap of the accelerator usually does wonders to get kids out of the way.

[ralerin]

@IroncladAlibi: That might not be a good idea. How do we know they aren't here LEGALLY? OP could probably get in a pile of deep doo-doo.

Going along with this: My parents immigrated from Canadialand 40+ years ago. My parents learned English and have happily called them American Citizens since 30+ years ago. Since my parents are now retirement age, my mother applied for help to pay her medical bills.

Suddenly, we get a letter from Social Security.

"UNABLE TO PROVE CITIZENSHIP. YOU NEED TO GO LOCAL OFFICE AND DEAL WITH THEM AND BRING A BUNCH OF PAPERS AND FORMS. HAVE A NICE DAY."

We joke that my mother is really an illegal immigrant even though she's been here for about half of her life. And Social Security being a government office are dragging my poor mother through a long waiting game of red tape and more red tape and "accidently" losing forms and what not.

[chainedbarista]

railerin of the great white north said:

And Social Security being a government office are dragging my poor mother through a long waiting game of red tape and more red tape and "accidently" losing forms and what not.

ahh, the government; making incompetence an art form...daily.

yah, i second that notion; calling INS may result in more problems than solutions. just call cps, child abandonment/endangerment, blah blah. should result in something useful.

[protege]

I find a light tap of the accelerator usually does wonders to get kids out of the way.

That it does. I've always found, that if you can't get the kids to move with the horn...popping the car into neutral, letting it roll forward a bit, and then blipping the throttle...is enough to send them scattering

[Jetfire]

Option A: If you have a camera phone, or even a camera you can set up on your dashboard, start snapping pictures, especially if you can record (video) them moving into the street. Then start posting them/sending the pictures everywhere you can think of.

Option B: Pretend to be talking on a cellphone or otherwise distracted. Don't make eye contact, just watch from the corner of your eye so you don't actually hit them, and keep going; basically pretending they don't exist. Hopefully you can scare some sense into them (unlikely)

[Green_Fairy]

try calling child services. letting kids run around the street like that can't be cool with them. they might work better than the cops

[Mytical]

*dons anti-rotten fruit suit*. Guess putting a cow catcher on your vehicle is out of the question?

[Gaki]

I had an encounter one day last winter after a huge snowstorm like this. I was on a VERY small side street in a VERY big vehicle (my old '96 Tahoe) and I'm driving in about six inches of snow because goodness knows a plow can't come down that street. Several kids LAID DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD and flailed their arms like "oh gosh, help me, this giant truck will hiiiit meeee!"

I don't think they realized how close they came. They only got up and ran off after I hit the brakes and my ABS kicked on and went "CHUNKCHUNKCHUNKCHUNK!!!" My truck was not happy. I think I made an imprint of myself in my seat pushing that brake pedal down.

[Pimento]

Yeah around here kids are stupid like that too.

Or this one person with a golden lab, i FINALLY found out what house it is. Every day....EVERY DAY this dog is on a low visibility hill running across the street and back. I have witnessed it cause no less than 3 fender benders. Needless to say, i do not slow down for it. Its more dangerous at this point hitting the brakes than the dog.

Today i saw the owner......THROWING ITS BALL ACROSS THE ROAD!!!!!

So the dog runs out infront of my car, i hit the clutch, rev up and steer slightly towards the dog. The owner came out freaking out at me, yelling, knocking on my window, fingering me, you name it. I rolled down my window and said "Sir, i do not slow down for your dog, it has caused accidents. People coming around each corner leading to this street cannot see it, keepo your damn mut in your yard, on a leash, or whatever. I will not feel bad in the least if it ends up my new hood ornament, so why dont you go and think about being a responsible pet owner"

I cant believe how idiotic this guy was, teaching his dog that its ok for it to run rampant...oh and get this, the guy believes his dog is SO well trained that it stays in his yard, so he has no gate...no fence or anything. Animal services has been called by neighbors (once the dog ran out on the road, forcing a driver up onto the neighbors front lawn) and they will not do anything about it.


Next step is for the owner to see me drive off with his dog as i take it to the SPCA.

[MaseMan]

What a moron. Too bad the dog will get hit one day and it will be the owner's fault, not anyone else's.

[Pimento]

Something i saw last night while on a walk:

My road is VERY twisty with a few blind corners. Saw a few parents building a sledding hill for their kids....on a corner lot....with the kids sliding into traffic....on one of the worst corners... Maybe 6/7 yrs old.

Ugh. I mean i know its a "ritzy" neighborhood, and most people are well off , lots of EWs and junk. But really, giving your kids a sled ride to heaven should require common sense. I didnt ask him if he thought it was a good idea, but did witness the kids slide down, hit the other side of the road (ice rink roads here up north right now) and run back across the street without looking once....