I have reached the bottom of the dumpster of car-bage

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Early 2000s Saturn SL-series car, similar to mine. As sexy as a Volvo. Or Janet Napolitano.

And it has massively-tinted windows, a huge-ass spoiler, a sticker from some outfit called Evil Tuners, and a fart can. Every time the gas pedal (which may or may not be shaped like a bare foot) is pressed, the car sounds like my ass after eight Taco Bell tacos and a large Baja Blast Mountain Dew.

Some cars are not made to be pimped out. This is one of them.

[Nashida]

Every time the gas pedal (which may or may not be shaped like a bare foot) is pressed, the car sounds like my ass after eight Taco Bell tacos and a large Baja Blast Mountain Dew.

Dammit Irv, that time it hurt!

[Pimento]

Lol yeah, i drive a 2009 civic SI, the rep civics have in general is bad enough, let alone the poorly done "tuners" and everyone with a cobalt and a fart can revving up and trying to race me lol.

I feel your pain

[bhskittykatt]

Hubs put a performance muffler on the Death Trap recently.

The "Death Trap" is a '79 Datsun King Cab. It's floorboards are rusting out to the point that you can poke fresh holes with your pinky finger. It doesn't do highways due to terrible suspension. It has no dash, either, since Hubby thought it would "look cool" with a "custom dash" that ended up not working out at all. Also, the "custom" fuel gauge goes from "Empty" to "Full", so we figure the letters on it actually stand for "Enough" and "F***ed!".

Why such a POS needs a performance muffler, I have no clue, but it's Hubby's "project car", so as long as he gives me money for bills, I guess he can blow the rest of it however he chooses to.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

My grandparents used to have a truck like that. It was powder blue.

That thing sounded rough enough with a normal muffler. I don't want to know what one with a fart can would sound like.

[protege]

Every time the gas pedal (which may or may not be shaped like a bare foot) is pressed, the car sounds like my ass after eight Taco Bell tacos and a large Baja Blast Mountain Dew.

Son of a bitch!

Some cars are not made to be pimped out. This is one of them.

I can think of others--Ford Escorts, Pintos, Yugos, anything with a Buick or Lincoln badge on it, Chevy Citations....to name a few. Oh, and let's not forget the base-model Cobalts either. I've seen a few examples of that crap locally. Seriously assholes, a few stickers, fart can, wing (aka "park bench on the trunk"), and a stereo are *not* performance mods. While we're on the topic, fart cans don't do squat...except to annoy the ever living *fuck* out of the rest of us.

[Chromatix]

Some day I want a car with a miniature Deltic engine in it, just for the hell of it. Bonus points if it looks as cool as a Tatra 603.

[blas]

Hey protege, you missed one....Dodge Neons.

Not a race car. Not a high performance car. Do not pimp it out. Do not duel exhaust it. Do not paint it yellow with stripes, or grey with a giant Ram on the hood, do not put a huge spoiler on the back, do NOT EVER put a body kit on it.....just don't. In all honesty, never buy a Neon, but if you do, do not modify it. Or people in general will laugh at you, and people who think you are cool.....are too stupid for their own good.

And for the pickemuptruckers.......you will be laughed at for putting monster truck tires on your Silverado, and people who think you're cool.....oh we already covered that.

I love car-bage vehicles. There's the modified vehicles, and then there's the vehicles that should not even be on the road anymore.......doors all different colors, back bumper bashed in and tied down with a bungee cord via the trunk, all kinds of tape around the various head/tail lights that for whatever reason are not working or are bashed out, front ends smashed in so far it almost looks like you're only driving half of a car and you wonder how under the hood even works anymore.....oh I love them.

[Sientara]

Hey protege, you missed one....Dodge Neons.

Not a race car. Not a high performance car. Do not pimp it out. Do not duel exhaust it. Do not paint it yellow with stripes, or grey with a giant Ram on the hood, do not put a huge spoiler on the back, do NOT EVER put a body kit on it.....just don't. In all honesty, never buy a Neon, but if you do, do not modify it. Or people in general will laugh at you, and people who think you are cool.....are too stupid for their own good.

Like this one? I've seen it driving around town here. It just blows my mind. If your gonna put on an off-road kit, at least put it on something with a decent engine.

[Shalom]

Like this one? I've seen it driving around town here. It just blows my mind. If your gonna put on an off-road kit, at least put it on something with a decent engine.

How do you know that thing doesn't have a decent engine in it? It's possible he started with something like a Bronco and just stuck the Neon body on top. Kind of like what Doc Nickel did with his 4x4 Corvair. You think he left the original air-cooled flat-6 in there?

[teh_blumchenkinder]

snip

I love car-bage vehicles. There's the modified vehicles, and then there's the vehicles that should not even be on the road anymore.......doors all different colors, back bumper bashed in and tied down with a bungee cord via the trunk, all kinds of tape around the various head/tail lights that for whatever reason are not working or are bashed out, front ends smashed in so far it almost looks like you're only driving half of a car and you wonder how under the hood even works anymore.....oh I love them.

So have you seen That Will Buff Out? It's a website, here:
http://cars.failblog.org/
there's accidents, amazing things, and horrifying things-- mostly to do with things that move (or once moved) on the roads.

[Bella_Vixen]

Kind of like what Doc Nickel did with his 4x4 Corvair

That looks like something one of my exes would have done.

[protege]

How do you know that thing doesn't have a decent engine in it? It's possible he started with something like a Bronco and just stuck the Neon body on top.

Maybe, but after seeing several instances of "redneck engineering" locally, it would surprise me. I'm sure everyone knows what I mean by that. They used the cheapest and fastest methods possible to achieve a task, rather than fixing something properly. Duct tape, bailing wire, and Bondo in abundance, in other words

[dalesys]

Wudya mean Primer Grey/Red ain't factory colors?