Traffic bingo

[houdini]

We drive from our house to my parent's fairly frequent - usually twice a month, if not more. The road is across some (for the UK) wild terrain, most of which is used by the Army for manoeuvres and blowing s**t up. As such, the two roads that go across it are small, very winding, and only two lanes wide. There are only two places where you can overtake, and even those are difficult: the road's full of bridges, tight corners, tiny villages and crossroads, so if you get stuck behind something, you're usually done for.

Aaaand we always get something holding us up. Always. Usually it's a slow car (I'll be fair, it's not an easy road if you haven't driven it before), but more recently it's been other things. On several occasions it's turned an hour drive into two hours (annoying, when I want to get home for dinner), but we're now so used to it that we just laugh and sit there.

It was during one of our recent drives that we started a traffic bingo card, as the sheer amount of uselessness that was on the roads was legendary! The rules are that we have to try to get all of the below (driving the same way as us - things in the opposite direction don't count), and preferably holding us up. You can only claim an item once if you're playing traditional bingo; however, we did turn it into a points system on our last trip, simply because of the six vintage cars and three tractors that we got stuck behind.

- A caravan
- Aggregate truck, preferably with loose gravel as the load
- 16-wheeler that really shouldn't be on this road
- Heap'o'crap car that looks like bits are going to fall off any moment
- Tractor (or two or three)
- Vintage cars (or six)
- Nervous driver who does 30mph in the 60mph zone and 40mph in the 30mph villages...I really do not understand the logic of that, but people do it!
- An army truck (bonus point for army truck + squaddies)
- An accident and/or police cars
- Roadworks
- Someone on a bicycle. Bonus point if they're not wearing a helmet.

And for extra bonuses:
- A flash car (BMW, Merc, Jag, something along those lines) that tailgates aggressively
- 10 bonus points if said tailgater does manage to get past us, and then gets stuck behind whatever is holding traffic up, and we then end up following it for the rest of the journey (while laughing)
- A pack of motorbikes that pull really stupid manoeuvres to overtake everyone

That's just our drive home - any other suggestions?

[Pixilated]

A flock of sheep? (Or other livestock)

[XCashier]

Swerving vehicle
Car more than 50% covered in bumper stickers
Car straddling lane dividing line
Moron driver texting / applying makeup / other non-essential task while driving

[Crossbow]

Turn signal permanently on

I'll come up with more later when my brain is working.

[kpzra]

In Alaska we had "person who brakes at EVERY corner/curve".

[EricKei]

Brake lights/rear running lights/turn signals not functional AT ALL - especially at night

Slate grey/silver or other similarly-colored car blending in to the scenery when it's raining heavily, with no lights on

[mharbourgirl]

Pickup truck (Ute for the Aussies, not sure what you call 'em across the Pond), always oversized but driven by a small woman/little old person and always, ALWAYS doing at least 20kph under the limit. Until you try to pass.

Salesdude (they're always salespeople, and pretty much always men in this particular instance) driving a minivan - he can call it an SUV all he wants, it's still a minivan - driving 10kph under the limit, talking on a cellphone, talking to their passenger, and drinking a coffee all at the same time, and randomly drifting across the centre line.

[XCashier]

Pickup truck (Ute for the Aussies, not sure what you call 'em across the Pond), always oversized but driven by a small woman/little old person and always, ALWAYS doing at least 20kph under the limit. Until you try to pass.

Similar subspecies include:

Oversized pickup / Hummer / other penis replacement vehicle driven by an overly aggressive man who tailgates you, flashes his highbeams into your rearview mirror and otherwise tries to intimidate you.

Same type of vehicle driven by someone who has no ability to control the vehicle, causing it to clip corners, drift into other lanes and other hazardous moves. (And don't even get me started on how badly they park!)

[houdini]

(And don't even get me started on how badly they park!)

Oh yeah, whole new one for parking fails...

[cashierbex]

Someone having no lights on while in a dark minivan going 30 miles under the speed limit while driving at night in the fast lane.

Someone putting their blinkers on for 1 mile before they turn while going slower than the speed limit.

Someone weaving in and out of traffic in a multi-million dollar car.

Someone tailgating you while theres no one on the road.

Jeep drivers (they are assholes here) honking at you for not going into taffic to make a left hand turn.

[tech_monkey]

People who stop to turn right with no one in the turn or in front of them.
people who pass you only to slow down below the speed limit.
People that pass you in a no passing area.

[Kogarashi]

People who honk at you for not running the red light (especially if they want to turn right on red, while you're going straight and thus obviously not signalling).
People who sit at a green light when there's no visible reason for them to be doing so.
People who are too impatient to wait for you to run the red light, so they pull into the oncoming lane from behind you so they can run it.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

People who stick the front of their car OUT into the busy road from a side road (as in out far enough to become an OBSTRUCTION.)

People who park their vehicle up ON THE SIDEWALK.

[EricKei]

People who honk at you for not running the red light (especially if they want to turn right on red, while you're going straight and thus obviously not signalling).

I have found that people who tend to do this, do not really seem to comprehend what those funny little yellow lights on the sides of the cars are for anyway >_>

[dragon_wings]

People who stick the front of their car OUT into the busy road from a side road (as in out far enough to become an OBSTRUCTION.)

Roomie and I live in an apartment complex way back off a main(ish) road. I have to take a long curvy narrow road to get home. Maybe once a week someone pulls too far into road so I have to slow down to either go around them or so they can go. Bonus: I drive home in the dark on this road 3-4 times a week.