Day 4: Ah ha! A clue!

[Gravekeeper]

Finally, days off....yay Quiet night last night, thankfully.




Sherlock

Me: "Good evening, <company> TV"
SC: "I'm calling to expose the mystery!"

Wait, no, don't tell me. Let me guess: Miss Scarlet in the library with the candlestick. Did I get it? Was I at least close? No? Ah well. Oh, right. Go away.



Tech Support

SC: "Ok baby, thank you."

You're welcome, sugar. Do you want some Doritos too? That’s what they pay me for you know: Love and Doritos. I am a purveyor of nacho cheese dusted affection.



Tech Support Again
( Thank you, Memphis )

SC: "The machine didn't print me no receipt."
Me: "Oh, alright. The machine's probably out of paper then."
SC: "Huh?"
Me: "Its out of paper."
SC: "What?"
Me: "The machine has no paper left in it."
SC: "Uh…"
Me: "The machine is out of paper. That’s why it couldn't print you a receipt."
SC: "I don't understand, lemme give the phone over to someone else."

<twitch>. Machine. Paper. Out of. Receipt. No. Jeebus Crisps, how did you even manage to operate the machine if you can't grasp the concept of paper and ink? Were you even using it properly? Perhaps it didn't print you a receipt because you were licking the screen like a cow licking salt off a post. You said you put money in the machine….are you sure? You didn't like wedge it underneath the machine or wave it at the machine while clicking your heels together or something did you? Was it Monopoly money? Are your shoes even on the right feet? Argh!



I'm Mean

Me: "Good evening, <company name>."
SC: "Yeah, a pipe burst here and there's water everywhere!"
Me: "Ok-"
SC: "Nah, I'm lying."

That's ok, so was I. In fact I hope your evening ends with you waking up face down in an alley with a sore arse and $5 in your back pocket along with a note that says "Thanks for a wonderful evening - XOXO". Preferably signed by a fine lady with a name like "Bubba", "Big Jim" or "Johnny Turbine".

( I'm so mean. )


Disbelief

Police called once for a guy they had in custody. Police were informed we could not reach a lawyer at this time. Police cals back and explain the guy they have in custody doesn't believe them when they tell him we couldn't reach a lawyer and asks if I could tell him myself. Operator is overcome with ecstatic glee.

Apparently, The Man™ is once again holding people down.



Just....no

I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't call me while taking a whizz. Kthxbye.





Ahhh....freedom

( On a side note....why is the board replacing the word "Officer' with "Iron Maiden"? ;p )

[Gravekeeper]

O-f-f-i-c-e-r! <shakes fist>

[bratling]

Poor GK.. think about what today is.. then you will be enlightened.

[Becks]

I am a purveyor of nacho cheese dusted affection.

Brand name Doritos? Regular nacho, or the Spicer Nacho? I need to know, so I know how much to tip you.

[Ljt09863]

OH! i forgot what day it was!!!! aha! this will be fun. thanks for reminding me GK, even if you don't know what you reminded me of.

[BusBus]

Sherlock

Me: "Good evening, <company> TV"
SC: "I'm calling to expose the mystery!"

Wait, no, don't tell me. Let me guess: Miss Scarlet in the library with the candlestick. Did I get it? Was I at least close? No? Ah well. Oh, right. Go away.

I would have gotten away for it that it not been for that meddling kid.....

[SuperB]

SC: "The machine didn't print me no receipt."
Me: "Oh, alright. The machine's probably out of paper then."
SC: "Huh?"
Me: "Its out of paper."
SC: "What?"
Me: "The machine has no paper left in it."
SC: "Uh…"
Me: "The machine is out of paper. That’s why it couldn't print you a receipt."
SC: "I don't understand, lemme give the phone over to someone else."

<twitch>. Machine. Paper. Out of. Receipt. No. Jeebus Crisps, how did you even manage to operate the machine if you can't grasp the concept of paper and ink? Were you even using it properly? Perhaps it didn't print you a receipt because you were licking the screen like a cow licking salt off a post. You said you put money in the machine….are you sure? You didn't like wedge it underneath the machine or wave it at the machine while clicking your heels together or something did you? Was it Monopoly money? Are your shoes even on the right feet? Argh!

It's kind of interesting listening to those who complain verses those who inform. Guy comes in and complains 3 or 4 times to his friend that there was no hot chocolate. I'm waiting to see if he'll tell me it's empty but he doesn't, just keeps complaining to his friend. Finally, as his friend is paying for his stuff he complains to me.
"That means it's empty, it the most popular one. Thanks for letting me know it's empty so I can fill it". (can I sell you a clue?)

One afternoon a girl comes out of the bathroom to tell her friends, "There's no toilet paper, lets go somewhere else".
Hello! It's not like you just wandered into camp or something. LET ME KNOW IT'S OUT!!!

[Ackee]

April 1st

Ahhh....freedom

( On a side note....why is the board replacing the word "Officer' with "Iron Maiden"? ;p )

Oh, I wish I had signed on on that day...

[XCashier]

Oh, I wish I had signed on on that day...

Yeah, me too, I missed all the fun.

[BusBus]

Everytime I see the title of this thread I think of the Hardly Boys from Southpark.....

"Oooh, I have a raging clue!"