Another Series of Tales from the Front

[paintballworker]

I'm BACK, now as Official Owner of ABC Paintball.

With the sudden arrival of Summer here in the Great White North, large numbers of people have come out to play paintball. Which is great, I love the sport and think everybody should try it at least once. Some background then ...CUE THE SUCKY CUSTOMERS!


Background: I've hired two new people, Tom the new GunShop Tech(he's a former Pro Team player and knows his markers) and Geoff the Ref(That's his real name, it's great). Maria has switched to Part-Time ProShop manager due her Law courses, and I've taken up the slack. Last Week I threw a "Inventory Clearence Sale"....$5 playing fee, all the free paintballs you can fire, free fillups and $2 a slice pizza from the place down the street. I actually made money off of this.

The First Ban:

Me: Paintslinging Owner
Idiot: My First Ban
Geoff the Ref:

This takes places the DAY i officially take over as Owner. I was relaxing at the counter, shooting the shit with two regulars, who are on their way to a MASSIVE 3 day Paintball Event in the Southern US. In walks this jackass, covered head to toe in camo. He walked into the ProShop and I kept bitching to the two regulars about how I wanted to go, but can't.

Geoff, over radio: Owner to Proshop, Owner to Proshop
Me: I'll be back guys, I need to ask you a favour. (I mosey over to the ProShop and walk in).

Here is this guy, screwing in a Co2 and pointing it at Geoff.
Me: STOP!
Idiot: Wha?
Me: Can't you read, NO Co2 IN THE PROSHOP!
Idiot: Huh? It's not Co2!
Me: Yes it is, it's say so on the container, get it to the ready area
Idiot: But I'm not playing here, I just came over to get some Co2 and going to go play at (other field on the other side of the City)
Me: WHAT?! Get out, and don't bother coming back
Idiot: But what about my Co2
Me: GET OUT!

The Rules Lawyer:

Me: See above
RL: Rules Lawyer, called that because before he would argue with EVERYBODY about Rules.
Kid #1,2,3,4: Birthday party kids, sweet bunch
Tom: New GunTech hire
Maria: ProShop Manager and Wife

Kid 3: DUDE, THAT WAS AWESOME! *pants*(this Kid was like the Flash, I've never seen somebody so lanky move that fast) We need to come again.
Kid 4: Yeah
RL: (comes charging into the ProShop) YOU (BEEP BEEP BEEP)ing WIPERS, NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF (BEEP)ING F**KERS
Tom/Maria:
Kid 1 breaks into tears
Maria: Sir, none of the kids got hit and you weren't even in their game!
RL: Where you the Ref? then shut up

Me: (I was in the backroom doing inventory and was hearing evening). (I walk out) Get out, and your banned.

RL: You can't do that!
Me: Yes I can, I'm the owner. And you just swore in front of kids and INSULTED. MY. WIFE!. You have five seconds to leave.

He sputtered and then left...a week since I became the owner, and I've already had to ban two people.

Paging Gravekeeper, One of your nutters came to my Field

This was told to me by Maria, since I was busy with a birthday party of 16 year old girls and their "boyfriends"(Why no, I didn't give the girls better markers ).

Maria was in the ProShop, processing our MilSig shipment(come July, I'm picking one up ). In walks this "lady"(Maria's words), wearing Pink Camo shorts, a shirt four sizes too small for her, and yelling into a cellphone. After about twenty seconds, she "readjusted" herself, and then walked out. Didn't buy anything, didn't say anything. Just yelled into the cellphone.

Maria needed brain bleech after that.

On an unrelated topic, I officially love my wife. I got home after a very busy day, we're talking 10+ groups of 20+ people EACH, and guess what she got me as a present...several Fifith Doctor DVD's, some mead and my favourite pizza(Boston Pizza). Some days I feel I don't deserve her .

[wolfie]

Me: Can't you read, NO Co2 IN THE PROSHOP!
Idiot: Huh? It's not Co2!
Me: Yes it is, it's say so on the container, get it to the ready area
Idiot: But I'm not playing here, I just came over to get some Co2 and going to go play at (other field on the other side of the City)

Is the "NO Co2 in the proshop" rule to ensure that outside the playing area, the guns don't have an energy source, and therefore can't fire? Also, why would he be getting Co2 at your place rather than at the field where he's playing? Is Co2 a "loss leader" at your place, and you hope to make it up in field fees/paint (which, of course, he'd be spending on at the other place)?

[paintballworker]

Yes. It's a safety concern, and the rule was implemented by the previous owner, and one I intend to keep.

Co2 is, at least so far, neutral(I haven't seen any loss or gain). I made enough to pay for the Co2, I make it up with fee's and paint.

[BroSCFischer]

Background:<snip> Last Week I threw a "Inventory Clearence Sale"....$5 playing fee, all the free paintballs you can fire, free fillups and $2 a slice pizza from the place down the street.

<emphasis added>

Also, why would he be getting Co2 at your place rather than at the field where he's playing?

I'd be willing to bet that the free fillups were the CO2, and the SC was trying to take advantage of the "sale".

SC

[RayvenQ]

I can't wait until a guy who has been there before, but has only encountered you before you owned it, and doesn't know, starts to get snippy and goes "get me the owner."

[paintballworker]

Oh, I am too.

[Amina516]

Thats awesome. Congrats on the business.

I love playing paintball. I've only been twice, but had a great time when I've gone.

[Argabarga]

I can't wait until a guy who has been there before, but has only encountered you before you owned it, and doesn't know, starts to get snippy and goes "get me the owner."

Ditto, hope you have a folded-newspaper hat that says "MANAGER" on it that's ready to go on demand for that occasion.

[Caffienated_Caramel]

I love your stories They calm the rage I feel against stupidity.

[mjr]

Oh, I am too.

Reminds me of a story I read on Not Always where a young, twenty-something was the owner of a bakery (I think it was). A guy storms in, doing the typical SC, EW, SS, "I'm IMPORTANT" thing. Cashier (owner) refuses to serve the guy, because he barged to the front. Guy demands to see manager. Manager comes out, cashier (owner) goes to the back. Manager doesn't give the guy what he wants, he demands the owner (I think because the manager said the owner was there).

The young, twenty-something cashier (owner) then comes out and acknowledges the guy. Guy says "I wanted the owner!! blargle blargle!!"

Young, twenty-something guy: "Like I said...yo." or something like that.

Guy leaves...without his stuff. If I recall the story correctly.

Found the link: http://notalwaysright.com/getting-ow...r-part-2/26871

[paintballworker]

My nametag has

*My Name*
*Owner of ABC Field*.

I also have a sign that says "SHOP IS PROTECTED BY DALEKS. SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE EXTERMINATED! THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS"

also, Caffienated_Caramel....your welcome, I guess.

[mjr]

The Rules Lawyer:

I know I'm wrong here (because I've never played paintball), so please correct me...

I thought the rules of paintball were pretty straightforward...Team A vs Team B. Team A person shoots Team B person with paint ball, Team B person is out.

Rinse and repeat until there's one person on a team left, and that team wins. I think there's some kind of flag involved, too...

What am I getting wrong?

[Sapphire Silk]

It depends on the kind of game you're playing. Some games are a version of capture the flag; the winning team captures the enemy flag and returns it to their home base.

Some are simple eliminations; the last team standing wins.

There are lots of possibilities.

There are tactics and strategies to playing paintball. Noobs tend to get eliminated quick because they don't know how to control their fire, how to move, and how to anticipate and avoid an attack.

Teams that train together regularly tend to obliterate the casual players, or at least that was my experience. But if you keep at it and learn the ropes it really is a LOT of fun.

Haven't played in years, sadly.

[Alpha Strike]

I'm BACK, now as Official Owner of ABC Paintball.
......


RL: (comes charging into the ProShop) YOU (BEEP BEEP BEEP)ing WIPERS, NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF (BEEP)ING F**KERS

Congrats on being the new owner. That's awesome!

Out of curiosity, and since I haven't played in years, what exactly is a "Wiper?"

There are tactics and strategies to playing paintball. Noobs tend to get eliminated quick because they don't know how to control their fire, how to move, and how to anticipate and avoid an attack.

Teams that train together regularly tend to obliterate the casual players, or at least that was my experience. But if you keep at it and learn the ropes it really is a LOT of fun.

The experienced players tend to have much better weapons - which gives you a major advantage - and tend to take the game a bit more seriously as well.

[paintballworker]

A 'wiper' is somebody who wipes the hit paint off of themselves in an attempt to not be out. Its cheating plain and simple, and a serious accusation.