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So, this weekend happened to be the lovely beginning of OVI Checkpoints season. Now, naturally, this to me means that stupid drunk and/or high people would see the error of their ways and decide to stay the fuck home, but of course, that is not how my town works. we had three checkpoints set up on threee VERY busy intersections that surrounded us and for some reason, this meant that everyone who attempted to get around them were funneled straight to our store. Joy...
Pizza Hell
Yes, the touch screen sitting right in front of you stating, "To order food, please touch screen," and *gasp* it pops up with pictures of the food or drink you wish me to make, like magic! No, I can't take your order by writing it down, like at those sit places, this is a gas station. We have to have the order in our system as well as have the receipt that pops out so the cashier knows what to put into the register.
No you can't eat the pizza standing at the counter so you can flirt with the cashier, who by the way, has already told you three times that she has a boyfriend and is not interested....no I don't want to be your "second choice>' Got a boyfriend too, now please leave!
Yes, it is possible to order a cheese pizza. You hit the pizza button, then cheese, then confirm order and I will make the damn cheese pizza...No I will not put pepperoni on it so you can then pick them off and throw them in the garbage right in front of me, that's wasting food, but I can see waste is not a problem for you, since you yourself are wasted.
I.D. Hoopla
So I started my training to become cashier and I finally got to say, "NO ID, no tobacco>" I don't know why, but it makes feel powerful.
My first one was a kid. No doubt about it, kid. He walks in with huge sunglasses on and his hands are shaking like crazy (out of nerves or drugs, I couldn't tell) and points to some White Owl Cigarillos. I ask him for ID and "Man, c'mon, I'm 18!" No ID, no tobacco. "Man, this is wack!" and he leaves. My manager came out from the back and says he tries this on every new cashier, to see f they'll actually sell it to him. We're not idiots dude, nor do we want to lose our jobs or get a fine.
Had another one, college kid this time. I ask him for ID and he sighs and says, "Really? Yeah, hang on it's out in my car." Thankfully he went and got it and was fine after that. He even bought some candy that goes towards our candy goal from corporate, so woo!
Having fun?
Judging by the sarcastic way this question is posed to me every single time, I gather you don't care if I'm having fun or not, you just want me to feel bad that I am working on a Saturday night while you and your "bros" are out partying. Yes, I am having loads of fun earning money that allows me to have that fun when I am not working, as opposed to your lovely time of wasting your refund check at the bar, striking out with every girl and then regretting it all when you can't buy food two days later. Yes, I am having fun, at your expense, not mine.
Drunks
A love/hate relationship. I love the drunks who think that they can keep partying by buying booze after 4AM, when Ohio Law states we can't sell booze after 1AM and can't begin to sell it again until 5:30AM. Yes, that means you have to put it back. No that doesn't mean you can buy a tall boy of Bud Light instead. *sighs*
No, I don't want to "go back to your place and hang out" after I get off work. Please go away, your breath stinks.
Had one guy stagger in during the afternoon. We had one of our regulars at the counter, talking to the other cashier. We're giggling and laughing at his jokes and this guy staggers up and starts mumbling some kind of language I didn't even know existed. I ask him to repeat himself and he finally says, "I need $20 on pump 2." He hands me the twenty and staggers out, but not before bumping into the center divider between the doors. I try to hold back a gag from the horrible smell of cheap booze that reeked off his breath. I reach for the phone, but our regular is watching him and says, "Is that guy drunk?!" I nod in assesemnt and tell him I smelled his breath. He holds up a finger, hits a few numbers on his phone and states, "Hey, yeah *name of police chief* I got a guy here who is drunk off his ass at the *gas station* on *our intersection* and he's driving. Yeah, license plate #(blahblahblah), its a red 4 door *make/model/year* Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's leaving. He's heading westbound on *street* Yep, no problem, see ya later *name*." We cheered, he joked a bit more and watched the guys car get towed past the store about an hour later. Ah, justice.
Ha!
So, according to the paper, there was only one arrest the night of the checkpoints and that arrest happened at our store. I walked out from behind the cafe counter and noticed a Highway patrol car with someone pulled over in front of one of our pumps. Me and co-worker just shrug and go about our buisness. 20 minutes later and they are still there. Me and co-worker are now intrigued and watch the proceedings. Driver is told to step from the car. He is then handcuffed and placed in car. Another patrol car pulls up and the passenger is handcuffed and taken away. Cop then proceeds to park the car in our tiny little lot off to the side and drives away. We laugh and go back to work. Pretty good night, if I do say so myself.
Pizza Hell
Yes, the touch screen sitting right in front of you stating, "To order food, please touch screen," and *gasp* it pops up with pictures of the food or drink you wish me to make, like magic! No, I can't take your order by writing it down, like at those sit places, this is a gas station. We have to have the order in our system as well as have the receipt that pops out so the cashier knows what to put into the register.
No you can't eat the pizza standing at the counter so you can flirt with the cashier, who by the way, has already told you three times that she has a boyfriend and is not interested....no I don't want to be your "second choice>' Got a boyfriend too, now please leave!
Yes, it is possible to order a cheese pizza. You hit the pizza button, then cheese, then confirm order and I will make the damn cheese pizza...No I will not put pepperoni on it so you can then pick them off and throw them in the garbage right in front of me, that's wasting food, but I can see waste is not a problem for you, since you yourself are wasted.
I.D. Hoopla
So I started my training to become cashier and I finally got to say, "NO ID, no tobacco>" I don't know why, but it makes feel powerful.
My first one was a kid. No doubt about it, kid. He walks in with huge sunglasses on and his hands are shaking like crazy (out of nerves or drugs, I couldn't tell) and points to some White Owl Cigarillos. I ask him for ID and "Man, c'mon, I'm 18!" No ID, no tobacco. "Man, this is wack!" and he leaves. My manager came out from the back and says he tries this on every new cashier, to see f they'll actually sell it to him. We're not idiots dude, nor do we want to lose our jobs or get a fine.
Had another one, college kid this time. I ask him for ID and he sighs and says, "Really? Yeah, hang on it's out in my car." Thankfully he went and got it and was fine after that. He even bought some candy that goes towards our candy goal from corporate, so woo!
Having fun?
Judging by the sarcastic way this question is posed to me every single time, I gather you don't care if I'm having fun or not, you just want me to feel bad that I am working on a Saturday night while you and your "bros" are out partying. Yes, I am having loads of fun earning money that allows me to have that fun when I am not working, as opposed to your lovely time of wasting your refund check at the bar, striking out with every girl and then regretting it all when you can't buy food two days later. Yes, I am having fun, at your expense, not mine.
Drunks
A love/hate relationship. I love the drunks who think that they can keep partying by buying booze after 4AM, when Ohio Law states we can't sell booze after 1AM and can't begin to sell it again until 5:30AM. Yes, that means you have to put it back. No that doesn't mean you can buy a tall boy of Bud Light instead. *sighs*
No, I don't want to "go back to your place and hang out" after I get off work. Please go away, your breath stinks.
Had one guy stagger in during the afternoon. We had one of our regulars at the counter, talking to the other cashier. We're giggling and laughing at his jokes and this guy staggers up and starts mumbling some kind of language I didn't even know existed. I ask him to repeat himself and he finally says, "I need $20 on pump 2." He hands me the twenty and staggers out, but not before bumping into the center divider between the doors. I try to hold back a gag from the horrible smell of cheap booze that reeked off his breath. I reach for the phone, but our regular is watching him and says, "Is that guy drunk?!" I nod in assesemnt and tell him I smelled his breath. He holds up a finger, hits a few numbers on his phone and states, "Hey, yeah *name of police chief* I got a guy here who is drunk off his ass at the *gas station* on *our intersection* and he's driving. Yeah, license plate #(blahblahblah), its a red 4 door *make/model/year* Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's leaving. He's heading westbound on *street* Yep, no problem, see ya later *name*." We cheered, he joked a bit more and watched the guys car get towed past the store about an hour later. Ah, justice.
Ha!
So, according to the paper, there was only one arrest the night of the checkpoints and that arrest happened at our store. I walked out from behind the cafe counter and noticed a Highway patrol car with someone pulled over in front of one of our pumps. Me and co-worker just shrug and go about our buisness. 20 minutes later and they are still there. Me and co-worker are now intrigued and watch the proceedings. Driver is told to step from the car. He is then handcuffed and placed in car. Another patrol car pulls up and the passenger is handcuffed and taken away. Cop then proceeds to park the car in our tiny little lot off to the side and drives away. We laugh and go back to work. Pretty good night, if I do say so myself.