Kats Stupid Customer Memoirs

[KatL]

ME: May I have the key code from the back cover of your catalog?

THEM: Sure, where will I find that? (happens often)

..........

HER: Do you have one of those mirrors that allow you to see yourself as others see you?

ME: Wouldn't ANY mirror allow you to see yourself as others see you?

HER: Oh. I guess it would wouldn't it.

..........

ME: Thank you for calling Company Name, this is Kat. How may I help you?

HIM: Joe Hammerocky [name changed to protect the stupid]

ME: Do you need to speak with someone named Joe Hammerocky?

HIM: Joe Hammerocky

ME: ...

HIM: ...

ME: Sir, how can I help you?

HIM: I want to be removed from the mailing list.

ME: Certainly! *gets info* Ok, we'll get you removed from the mailing list.

HIM: I ordered a radio from another company. This won't remove me from their mailing list too will it?

ME: No?

..........

ME: May I have the item number please?

HER: *gives item number*

ME: I'm sorry, that item is no longer available. Do you have another item number?

HER & ME: rinse and repeat above scenario 15 times with HER getting angrier and angrier and telling ME that if we aren't gonna have the items availble they shouldn't be in the catalog.

ME: Ma'am, is it an older catalog?

HER: I've had it for a while but that's no excuse!

ME: What's the date on the catalog?

HER: *shuffle, shuffle* May 1992.

ME: Ummm...

HER: *click*

..........

ME: Thank you for calling Company Name, this is Kat. How may I help you?

THEM: I'm going to return this item.

ME: Ok.

THEM: I'll just fill out the invoice, package everything up, stick the label on the package and drop it off at the post office.

ME: Ok.

THEM: Ok, thank you!

ME: Your welcome!

Glad I could help?

..........

ME: May I have your zip code please?

HER: I don't have one.

ME: Yes you do ma'am, everyone has a zipcode.

HER: NO I DONT! I THINK I'D KNOW IF I HAD A ZIP CODE!

ME: I assure you ma'am, you have a zip code. Do you have a piece of mail with your address on it? You'll find the zip code there. It's the 5 numbers right after your state.

HER: I will not be talked to like I'm stupid!

ME: I'm not saying you're stupid. I'm just trying to get your zip code so we can complete your order. Humor me and look on an envelope. If there aren't 5 numbers after your state I apologise profusely.

HER: *shuffle, mumble, shuffle, mumble* Hmmm. Well there's 5 numbers here but I don't know how they got there. They've never been there before!

ME: How bout you tell me what they are?

HER: Fine... but you don't need them. *gives zip code*

..........

ME: You'll need to speak to customer service about that ma'am. They open at 9AM Pacific time. That's another 3 hours.

HER: (on east coast, US) What?

ME: You'll need to call back in 3 hours. They open at 9AM.

HER: It IS 9AM! What are you talking about?!?

ME: It's 9AM there ma'am. Here it's 6AM.

HER: What? Just do your job and get me to customer service!

ME: Ma'am they aren't open. They don't open until 9AM PACIFIC TIME. You're 3 hours ahead of us there.

HER: This is unbelievable. You're trying to claim it's later here than in California just to get out of doing your job?!? This is unacceptable!

ME: *laughs because i was new to SC back then and thought she was just messing with me*

HER: *freaks out* @#$%&*@#%!@%#% I WANT YOUR NAME SO I CAN REPORT YOU TO YOUR SUPERIORS. I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED FOR THIS!

ME: *gives full name and log in number and BEGS her to report me*

..........

The below conversation happened to a friend today...

HER: Send that U*S, not the post office. The post office radiates things you know. Ever since that November 11th thing.

FRIEND: (NOVEMBER 11th?) *blink*

[Rapscallion]

*blink*

Geographically challenged though I may be, even I know that there are four or five time zones in Americalandia.

Bwahahahaha!

Rapscallion

[Andara Bledin]

Yeah, the Continental US gets 4, then we get a few more for Alaska & Hawaii. And the easternmost US zone is the westernmost zone for South America.

China is 5 zones wide, but the entire country is the same time, based on Beijing. That must be incredibly disorienting if you are in western China and the sun is coming up at noon.

^-.-^

[captainvegetable02]

Actually, when you look in a mirror, you don't see yourself as others see you. You see your mirror image, which is the reverse of what everyone else sees. Like when you hold up writing to a mirror and the letters appear backwards...it's the same with your face. In order to look in a mirror and see yourself the way everyone else sees you, you'd need to have two mirrors set up at angles so that one would reflect off the other, and you'd have to look at the one showing the reflection of your reflection. Think about that the next time you decide your hair looks better parted on a certain side.

[BusyBee]

Hmmm. Well there's 5 numbers here but I don't know how they got there. They've never been there before!

I can't decide whether to burst out laughing or fall over dead from a broken brain

[Knightmare]

Doesn't Indiana and Arizona have their own little pockets of time zones? Or am I thinking of DST? I don't know. It's early. I went to bed late. Knightmare tired.

[IT Grunt]

Indiana was one of those states that chose not to follow DST, so for part of the year they were on the same time as everyone else, the other part they were an hour off since they never changed their clocks. A friend of mine from Terre Haute said it had something to do with the farmers and not wanting to lose working daylight hours, or something along that line. They just recently passed legislation to start following it, so now they are in sync with everyone.

[Reyneth]

Actually, when you look in a mirror, you don't see yourself as others see you. You see your mirror image, which is the reverse of what everyone else sees. Like when you hold up writing to a mirror and the letters appear backwards...it's the same with your face. In order to look in a mirror and see yourself the way everyone else sees you, you'd need to have two mirrors set up at angles so that one would reflect off the other, and you'd have to look at the one showing the reflection of your reflection. Think about that the next time you decide your hair looks better parted on a certain side.

And that is also one of the main reasons you can *hate* a photo of yourself and other people love it, insisting it does look like you. They are used to seeing you the way you present yourself to the world, but you are used to seeing yourself in a mirror - so you are flipped. Nobody's face is exactly symmetrical so those little differences throw you off. I do enjoy telling my customers about that little phenomenon because you can see that light bulb go off and all of a sudden they're ok with a gorgeous photo that they hated a minute before.

I wonder if models don't have that issue, seeing that they take and view a lot more photos of themselves than normal people......

[CurlyLocks]

ME: May I have the key code from the back cover of your catalog?

THEM: Sure, where will I find that? (happens often)

Oh, I hate that. I get the same thing and variations on it constantly. Such as -

Me: "May I have your keycode please?"
SC: "A KEYCODE? What is this strange and mysterious keycode of which you speak?"
M: (yes, you've been calling every year for the last 15 to order and every time we ask you for a keycode, not to mention every time you order anything from any catalog you're asked for the code, but how foolish of me to think that you'd know what I'm talking about)

Or when asked for a keycode the customer becomes determined to find one, even after being assured that if they can't find one I'll get one for them. Then they proceed to waste two minutes of my time searching fruitlessly for it, during which time I repeatedly tell them it's ok, I'll get a keycode, but for some reason it becomes their life's work to find the code!

[BookstoreEscapee]

HER: Do you have one of those mirrors that allow you to see yourself as others see you?

ME: Wouldn't ANY mirror allow you to see yourself as others see you?

HER: Oh. I guess it would wouldn't it.

Warning, objects in mirror may be dumber than they appear.



captainvegetable02 - I never thought of it that way. I hate my pictures. Maybe I will try to look at them differently from now on.

[zzapp the witch]

If you don't like pics of yourself, put em on your computer and do a mirror flip in photo shop. If you like them that way, assure yourself they look good the other way, too.

[myswtghst]

I almost fell out of my chair reading about the zip code thing. That is priceless.

[HawaiianShirts]

And that is also one of the main reasons you can *hate* a photo of yourself and other people love it, insisting it does look like you. They are used to seeing you the way you present yourself to the world, but you are used to seeing yourself in a mirror - so you are flipped. Nobody's face is exactly symmetrical so those little differences throw you off. I do enjoy telling my customers about that little phenomenon because you can see that light bulb go off and all of a sudden they're ok with a gorgeous photo that they hated a minute before.

Another student of psychology, Reyneth?

If I remember correctly, this is one of the applications of what is called the "Mere Exposure Effect," which simply states that the more often we are exposed to something (be it an image, a person, a smell, a taste, an idea, etc.) the more likely we are to respond positively to it.

As for the OP, I've never had anyone completely deny that they have a zip code, but I've often had them get the zip code and the area code confused...
Me: May I have your phone number with the area code first, please?
Caller: My zip code is 54321.
Me: Great. And your phone number?
Caller: Sure. 210-555-9876.

And I've had my fair share of customers who don't get the concept that sales, specials, and even some products don't last forever. In January, I had one couple come in with our day-after-Thanksgiving-Day sale ad and ask for one of the desktop packages in it. Not only was that sale long over, but we sold out of that product by 7AM on Black Friday and never got it back in stock (burst SKU). In spite of this AND our pointing out that the ad stated the prices were good for two days only, the customers insisted on complaining to management.

[Andara Bledin]

Indiana was one of those states that chose not to follow DST, so for part of the year they were on the same time as everyone else, the other part they were an hour off since they never changed their clocks. A friend of mine from Terre Haute said it had something to do with the farmers and not wanting to lose working daylight hours, or something along that line. They just recently passed legislation to start following it, so now they are in sync with everyone.

It used to be that Indiana actully did and didn't follow DST at the same time. Indiana is in two time zones. Some of the counties in each of those time zones would change over for DST and some others wouldn't. In 2005, Indiana decided to be uniform about the whole thing and the legislation passed by a narrow margin.

(I actually wrote a report on DST several years back... voluntarily, at that)

^-.-^