Tales of a not very broken vacuum cleaner (swearing)

[Ahbugger]

This (mostly) happened to a co-worker but it was so spectacular that I felt the need to share. It was made all the more surprising by the fact that you can sometimes tell, after just a few seconds, if someone is a complete idiot however this guy seemed perfectly normal, nice and sensible, well… to start with. First, the background: we offer extended warranties, this guy had one.

DD: Disgruntled Dude
CW: Suck Victim
Me: Confused Onlooker

DD: Hi I bought this vacuum from you a few months back and I got your warranty with it.

Me: Yeah no problems, these ones are a bit of a nightmare to be honest. I can’t process an exchange on my account but CW can and he’ll be free in a few minutes. Mind if I ask what’s up with it?

DD: I lost the fuse.

Me: Err… I’m not sure you’d be covered for that, a fuse is a consumable.

DD: Yeah but I lost the fuse so it won’t work and I don’t have the cap that covers it. See?

Me: Well I’m sure we can sort you out with a spare cap and a fuse if you like but the warranty doesn’t actually cover things like batteries, fuses or bulbs - it is normal to replace those throughout the life of the device and it doesn’t mean it’s broken.

DD: Yeah but it needs a fuse to run doesn’t it?

*CW finishes with other customer*

DD: Hi, my fuse fell out.

CW: Fell out? That’s not great, so you’ve tried putting it back in and it just won’t stay in?

DD: I lost it.

CW: Well have you tried another fuse.

DD: Err… no.

CW: Ok, let’s take a quick look, well there’s nothing wrong with the plug. It’s still really nice and tight, if you were to fit a fuse in here you’d need a screwdriver to remove it so it won’t just fall out. I’ll just take a look at... hang on mate this is filthy. I’m sorry but you can’t expect me to work on this. You haven’t even emptied it.

DD: Yeah I couldn’t be arsed with that.

CW: Look, this is disgusting and there’s no point in me going through all the usual checks because you know what is wrong with it and it is that you took the fuse out. It will run fine as soon as you replace the fuse and would probably run better if you don’t overfill it and clean the filter from time to time. I’m really not sure what it is you’re expecting from me but I can’t give you a new one unless there is an actual fault with this one. So unless there is any other fault with it...

DD: You just don’t fucking care do you. Fucking prick! Fucking worthless!

YOU’RE ALL FUCKING SHOCKING!!!

SHOCKING!!!

Off he stamped to the exit clutching his vacuum and dribbling shite from the tank everywhere, and with that we said goodbye to another satisfied customer

[sms001]

Shocking!



Again, and against rule number two of CS, I am attempting to parse sucustomer logic. On the one hand, I see how not doing basic maintenance on a machine would be infinitely preferable to doing it, the stumbling block is that I DON'T see how lugging said machine out to the car, driving to the shop, waiting in line, making the exchange, and then back again (with the added bonus of removing and discarding new packing material) is even CLOSE to being less hassle. wtf? It's SHOCKING how some people's minds work.

[raudf]

Urrrggghhh, MW's service contracts never covered bags for vacuums. EVER. And yet, I'd always get one clue-resistant moron who would absolutely want new bags free because they had a service contract.

Sorry sweetcheeks, that is the one thing the contracts do not cover. However, if the belt broke, we'd replace it, no problem. Service contract covered annual maintenance, after all.. but a bag isn't annual. Ideally, it's more of a weekly item

[Ahbugger]

...not doing basic maintenance on a machine would be infinitely preferable to doing it...

I'm not sure if you're thinking what I'm thinking but it did cross my mind that they guy seemed to have removed the fuse himself and 'lost' it in the hope that he would get a new vacuum, thereby not having to empty or clean the damn thing. Of course nobody would really be that mental, wasteful or lazy... would they?

[cono1717]

I'm thinking you're working in the place I used to because

clean the filter from time

became our slogan. So many people come in wanting to swap hoovers and we'd just use our store one to clean their filter and low and behold it works

[MoonCat]

"Hi, I'd like to exchange my vacuum cleaner, please, this one's full."

"WHATTAYOU MEAN IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY?! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO TOUCH THAT FILTHY STUFF!"

[Dark Psion]

Back at the hardware store, Management broke down and bought a commercial grade vacuum for the front office and checkouts.

Every time they called me to "fix" it because it was "broken", the bag was so full it felt like a brick, the hoses were stopped up because the bag was full and often the belt was knocked off because the intake was jammed up too.

And every time they acted like they had no idea they needed to change the bag every now and then.

[AccountingDrone]

Sweet jumping jebus - up until it finally went to the Great Vacuum Shop in the Sky, I was using my Mom's original Electrolux model 30 from 1951 or 52. This was in 1990 The thing was 10 years older than I was! [ended up giving it to the store we bought the replacement from, he collected old vacuums and wanted it for parts as the shell was in perfect condition.]

[Seshat]

And every time they acted like they had no idea they needed to change the bag every now and then.

Magic box make dirt go 'way.

[sms001]

guy seemed to have removed the fuse himself and 'lost' it

Yeah, when you said your CW mentioned that it needed a screwdriver to remove it (which would certainly make sense) I kinda figured it was scam time.

As for these other instances of exchanging rather than changing bags and filters, wow. I just can't wrap my head around how this is less bother. And I shudder to think of the state of the other devices in their lives that need periodic user maintenance.

[crazylegs]

A friend of mine used to work for Comet (a now defunct UK electrical retain store). He had multiple tales of having to cut bags/compacted dirt from hoovers from people who have never emptied them.

[raudf]

I'm pretty sure our small appliance tech had similar stories. Fortunately, a lot of the backups were usually from socks, rather than an overly full bag. In fact, I believe we had a different section of the appliance area just for vacuums, because how messy even the cleanest one could get when taken apart.

It was worse if the top piece that held the bag jammed or broke and jammed, causing it to be a PITA to remove. The tech would have to spend a good two hours vacuuming after that repair, just to clean up the mess from the borked vacuum.

You'd also no be surprised by how many people failed to read the manual and would call us on how to change the bags on the vacs. (The new type canister ones that you just empty the canister were just a very expensive toy back then.) At least they were trying to do it themselves...

[Catwoman2965]

This reminds me of something the woman who runs my apt complex told me. Apparently there was a tenant who moved in, and a number of months later, came down to find out why no one had come to clean her apt! yes, she actually thought the complex provided that service! she was quickly told, in no uncertain terms, as teh woman who runs the complex takes no nonesense from anyone, that this was not something we provided, and she could ether clean it herself, or hire someone to do it for her! I shudder to think waht her apt actually looked like!

[Caractacus_Potts]

"Hi, I'd like to exchange my vacuum cleaner, please, this one's full."

"WHATTAYOU MEAN IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY?! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO TOUCH THAT FILTHY STUFF!"

And now I am picturing the poor person at the store that sold this guy his fridge.

WHATTAYOU MEAN YOU WON'T EXCHANGE IT! THERE'S STUFF ROTTING IN THERE!

[dalesys]

...came down to find out why no one had come to clean her apt!

"I am sorry, madame, that this establishment is not in the class of residence you are accustomed to... Mattresses by the Minute."