I completely lose it at a "Customer".

[Teskeria]

ohhhh, use the fake spiderweb (like at halloween) but coat the inside of it with something really sticky (use a paintbrush). (have a stick nearby to take it down when no longer needed....)

Nah too much work. but it would be soooo funny.

[BowserKoopa1]

Have a bucket of water (or even better, paint) sitting over the top of the door I guarantee he won't go through that door ever again.

[Kagato]

Have a bucket of water (or even better, paint) sitting over the top of the door I guarantee he won't go through that door ever again.

As amusing as that would be, if it were paint, I have a feeling it could potentially be deemed "Malicious Mischief" if the person were to choose to file a complaint in retribution, since there would be no valid reason for a bucket of paint to be perched on top of a doorway.

EDIT: not to mention that if the bucket did not tip and simply fell on the person base-first, the impact of a heavy (up to 10kg depending on how full it is) bucket of paint upon their skull could cause a serious concussion if not an outright skull fracture, depending on how far/hard it fell. Lawyers away!

[emax4]

As amusing as that would be, if it were paint, I have a feeling it could potentially be deemed "Malicious Mischief" if the person were to choose to file a complaint in retribution, since there would be no valid reason for a bucket of paint to be perched on top of a doorway.

EDIT: not to mention that if the bucket did not tip and simply fell on the person base-first, the impact of a heavy (up to 10kg depending on how full it is) bucket of paint upon their skull could cause a serious concussion if not an outright skull fracture, depending on how far/hard it fell. Lawyers away!

Good call, but because the "victim" chose to ignore signs advising any people not to go through a certain door, that would be used against them, and FIRST, I would think.

[wolfie]

I vote for keeping a vuvuzela close by. Every time this turkeybrain opens the fire exit....it's vuvuzela time!

Please don't insult the intelligence of my Thanksgiving dinner.

I worked at Chain Restaurant for five and a half years. At that location, we had two emergency exit doors which were clearly marked, in large capital letters, "EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY. ALARM WILL SOUND."

Any chance of replacing the bell/buzzer/siren of the alarm with a very loud recording of "Hey - some illiterate moron just tried to leave through the clearly marked emergency exit"?

[downforit2008]

When I read the part about the customer saying, "You can't stop me", I had this vision of what I would do to a customer who ever said that to me: Grabbing him by his collar and punching him repeatedly in the face Chuck Norris style.

"Looks like I just stopped you, didn't I, you little shit?" Bwaa hahahahahaha!

[LillFilly]

Since he's not shopping, and your store as private property can ban a person for no reason, can you ban him so that the next time he trespasses you can actually call the police?

My old mall had people do something similar; walking through the fronts of stores on their circuits around the mall (mall walkers), a dozen times in an hour, setting off the store's customer counts and killing their numbers for the day. They called security, so I stood outside while this one guy did it again (the store had asked him 3-times to stay out unless he was shopping); he actually came through, walked back wards, and forwards again to get the alarm to go off multiple times. I stopped him and told him point blank, if he harassed them one more time he was banned from the mall. He actually stopped. *Gasp* right!?

[Teskeria]

I worked at Chain Restaurant for five and a half years. At that location, we had two emergency exit doors which were clearly marked, in large capital letters, "EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY. ALARM WILL SOUND."

Anyone wanna guess how often in those five and a half years someone went through one of those doors? If you guessed "at least once a day, every day," congratulations, you're dead on!

lets see, there are around 2008 days in 5 1/2 years, So my first estimate, off the top of my head is really higher than that. I'm guessing a total of about 21017 times.