Saturday from HELL!! (long)

[Aethian]

Then things could go all 'splodey.

Seraph...

[mhkohne]

Me - One stick of butter softened, add honey until it's sweet enough for your tastes.

Her - But how did you make it?

She'd have done no better with the weights. What you gave was a perfectly good feedback loop for adjusting the output until correct.

In other words a procedure. Which any recipe has, and which she'd never be able to follow.

Clearly she's on the wrong side of the competence line when it comes to cooking.

[Mystic]

I remember a job once asked me to bring in a Dr note for being sick once. I believe my reaction was "We're not in f**king primary, I'm not going to bring you a f**king note" and hung up. Amazingly nothing was said to me when I walked in for my next shift.

Mind you this is a place where people were ALWAYS calling out and I was the one who ALWAYS covered their shift. I don't miss that place one bit.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Thinking about the period it came from, measuring cups were probably unheard of. From what I gathered, most recipes just told you what was used and left it up to you to figure out how much of what you needed for it.

Actually a lot of the recipes that I've dealt with used ratios. For example they say that for every egg you use, use roughly three times the weight of the egg in flour.

You still needed the knowledge of what it should look and taste like since it was based on approximation (rare was the cook that had a scale in the kitchen), but the ratios helped dial it in close so only minor tweaking was needed.

Which is amazing in the light that you can tell people what ingredients, what amounts, how to measure the amounts, how to put it all together step by excruciating step and detailing every little detail to the most minute degree...and they still can't sort it out.

Even sadder is the fact that I've let children use my cook book (supervised by me of course) and let them try their hand at making a cake or a batch of cookies. THEY usually do a better job of following the directions far better than the adults who often call me up and ask "What do you mean by this instruction here? It says to blanch the almonds by putting them into a bowl and covering them with boiling water until they're barely covered, letting them sit for a minute (no more, no less) and then rinsing them under cold water. I don't understand. I don't know what blanching is."

<headdesk>

[fireheart]

I'm actually in the ironic position where I DON'T need a sick note if I call in sick O.o

Seirously, my boss actually looked at me funny when I walked in with a sick note the day after I called out

[AccountingDrone]

Actually a lot of the recipes that I've dealt with used ratios. For example they say that for every egg you use, use roughly three times the weight of the egg in flour.

Some people are incapable of making the jump from cooking is an exact science/engineering project to cooking is a freeform art.

And whenever I made honey butter or garlic herb cream cheese, I keep track of the exact measurements and am able to provide 1 stick/quarter pound butter and1 tablespoon/3 teaspoons honey as the recipe. [most people make it too sweet - though it is really nice if you add a really tiny amount of cinnamon. And in period it was a food provided to the sick, not served at table. Ask Cariadoc if you want the discussion in excruciating detail.]

[Jester]

So, Mongo....can I get that recipe for honey butter?

My grandmother had a couple of recipes that she said, "Don't bother measuring, it's all to taste."

I have several recipes I've devised, mostly for myself, where there are definitely non-standard measurements, such as "a palmful." In that same recipe, I wrote, "season aggressively with" various spices and seasonings. Since that is one of my Three Secret Recipes, it doesn't matter if it makes sense to anyone else, since no one else is going to see it.

In rocket science, things can go 'splodey, so measuring is important. In cooking, it's not. Unless you're a terrible cook. Then things could go all 'splodey.

Honestly the funniest thing I've read all day. Probably TMI, but I laughed so hard at this, it actually forced out a fart.

I remember a job once asked me to bring in a Dr note for being sick once. I believe my reaction was "We're not in f**king primary, I'm not going to bring you a f**king note" and hung up.

The sickest I've ever been in my tenure at The Bar (and perhaps anywhere) resulted in my being out of commission for four days, three of which I was scheduled to work. And I didn't need a note for those three missed shifts, in large part due to the fact that when I called in, my manager did not recognize my voice, and when she realized it was me, basically ordered me to stay home, I sounded so bad. For those four days, the only time I even left the apartment was day one, when I went to the doctor, the pharmacy, and the grocery store (for soup, juice, etc.). Most of those four days were spent in bed, dying, praying for death, or watching bad tv that made me pray for death.

Speaking of notes, when my beloved Grandma died in the early Nineties, I went in to my job to let them know I'd be missing work, as I might be flying off to New Jersey for the funeral, but even if I didn't, I'd be in no emotional state to wait on people. This one mid-level manager, upon hearing me say my grandmother had died, sarcastically asked, "Oh, did she really?" I had no history of questionable callouts nor anything that would lead a reasonable person to believe I was the type to make something like that up just to get off work. Her attitude, added to the fact that I was not talking to her, but to a higher level manager while she just happened to be there, added to my pain of having just lost the only Grandma I'd ever known (I met my Dad's mother once or twice, and she was already rather senile at that point in her life) made me lash out. I whipped around on her and asked, with fire shooting from my eyes, "Would you like me to bring you her fucking corpse?!?" Shut her right the hell up.

I was not asked for any kind of note after that.

Some people are incapable of making the jump from cooking is an exact science/engineering project to cooking is a freeform art.

Baking is a science. Cooking is an art. There's a reason I do one and not the other.

[thatcrazyredhead]

Some people are incapable of making the jump from cooking is an exact science/engineering project to cooking is a freeform art.

I'm somewhere in the middle. I at least need something to start with, but then I'm comfortable with making whatever changes strike my fancy. When I first started cooking, though, I definitely needed clear, easy-to-follow instructions with exact timings and measurements. Nobody actually taught me how to cook, it was all trial and error. Now that I'm more comfortable with it, I'll start with a recipe and you wouldn't recognize it by the time I'm done.

And I completely agree with Jester. Baking is totally a science!

[sms001]

When I first started cooking, though, I definitely needed clear, easy-to-follow instructions with exact timings and measurements.

Ditto that. I started w/ this at age 9, but I think I could have handled honey butter before that.

[Chromatix]

I sometimes make tinned soup. This is of the "just add water" variety, having been partially dehydrated to make the can smaller. The amount of water to add, however, needs to be quite precisely controlled - but I do it without measuring (at least, no more precisely than eyeballing it using the can the mixture came out of). Too little, and the soup is too thick and the lumps won't go away. Too much, and it'll overflow the small saucepan I use. The difference between the two extremes is a matter of a few millilitres - but it's still not difficult. If it's coming out lumpy, I add a bit more. If it starts to overflow, it makes a mess but oh well.

I may have mentioned before how my mother once set fire to my kitchen. Luckily it caused no damage, since it was just a small amount of cooking oil left unattended on a lit gas hob, with nothing inflammable directly above it, but it did set off every smoke detector in the house - except for one which I later determined to be faulty. But even with the noise of the smoke detector (the kitchen's one being the first to go off), I got there from upstairs faster than she did from the front door... I wasn't best pleased.

[Athaelia]

If you don't mind me asking, what's a decent tip at a buffet these days? I think we generally stick with the usual 20%, even though it's not full service and we're pretty undemanding/low maintenance. Is that what most people do or is that high?

20 percent is very generous...especially since you're low-maintenance. What I think is appropriate is, for a party of two, 2-3 bucks if we take a few dirty plates for you and get you refills once or twice. If we have to take tons of plates, you need more than 3 refills or so, and you make a mess under the table (spilled rice, other dropped foods) then tack on a few more dollars. Large parties (6 or more) is bound to be a bit more work: more plates to clear, more drinks to refill, and more of a mess--most large parties are thoughtful and leave me about 10-15 dollars. Business people have left me up to 25 dollars or so

Of course, we have regulars who we enjoy interacting with: we know each other's hobbies, kids' (or grandkids') names, etc, and we also know what they always like to drink--or when they want coffee--so they don't even have to remind us. One couple leaves me 5-7 dollars, a few others have left me $10 and one sweet old couple even cleans their own table! (even though I tell them I'd be happy to do that for them)

[Jay]

I was helping in the kitchen at an SCA event and we had someone after feast ask for the recipe for honey butter.

That's your typical "left-brain" type individual. They handle absolutes like professionals, but the moment variables are introduced they get all discombobulated.

[sms001]

What I think is appropriate is, for a party of two,

Thank you so much, good to know. I doubt we'll drop down, as that's pretty close to twenty anyway. In fact, very timely as we're taking the aunt tonight. The place is about a 4/10, but she loves it so we humour her. Cute about your old couple.

[cindybubbles]

The SC part reminds me of the time when I worked for two buffet restaurants, and the SC was furious about us having no peking duck.

[BlaqueKatt]

NOR will management allow them to call off

I was actually told to "work or be fired" when I was actually quarantined by the health department. I had something HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS and the antibiotics weren't working.

No I did not return to work.