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Things that make your radar go off

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  • Things that make your radar go off

    For the record, this particular customer was not sucky. She had a legitimate technical issue that I was able to help her with. (Stupid Symantec )

    However, when a customer gets on the phone and begins with "I was in your store on [date], around [time], and I purchased [product]." That sets my radar off, and I automatically become prepaired to deal with a particularly unplesant call.

    How about the rest of you?
    "Sir... sir... diagnosing computer problems over the phone is like diagnosing brain cancer with a pointy stick"
    -ahanix1989, inspired by bash.org

  • #2
    This one is always bad:

    "I rented a car from Philidelphia."

    The location is about 1 mi from the airport, and even though a shuttle took them to it they can never find it. Then they get irate when I give them directions (which consist of 3 turns and you're there).
    I guess they shouldn't have set their phasers to miss-Mike Nelson

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    • #3
      If the customer says it in at least a calm tone, it actually helps me out. I like having specifics. I find it much more difficult to assist a customer when all they can tell me is "I went to one of the locations in suchandsuchtown 3 or 4 weeks ago, maybe in the afternoon, and I don't have my receipt."

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      • #4
        As soon as the words "I forgot my pass" come in my shields are up in an instant. The customer showing me a regular pass to get into VIP is also a big warning to me.
        The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

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        • #5
          British accents. I'm not kidding, here. My most insane phone calls at the paper have virtually all be from people speaking with impeccable British tones. They are also the ones who start out the call, "I know you know who I am."

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          • #6
            "I want to speak with a manager."

            Ahh, crap.
            Things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do. I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew,that someday it would bring me back to you.

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            • #7
              Arrogant expressions on their face just tell me that they're gonna be a pain in my behind. And typically, it's born out.

              People who request brand on things like amoxicillin or cephalexin. They don't even make the brands on these anymore, they're so stinkin' old.

              When people hand me a card for a plan I know we're not contracted with, and I know that the patient would know this by simply looking at some of the documentation or the plan's website. Heck, I find a lot of these plans websites easily just using the magic of google.

              When I get several scripts from a patient, all are for different narcotics, written on different days by different doctors. Bonus points if I ask if they have insurance, and they state that they don't want it billed. Hmmm....possibly because you just filled one at another pharmacy and you don't want me to know about it and call your doctor to get this cancelled?

              Suboxone prescriptions.

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              • #8
                Appearing with a bag and starting the conversation "I got this book as a gift" is an instant code orange for me. Nine times out of ten they have zero proof of purchase and as a result there's nothing I can do for them...cue full on customer stroppyness and ranting despite the fact that since it was a gift, they didn't pay for the thing anyway *sigh*

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                • #9
                  "I got food [weeks, months, years] ago and it was wrong."
                  "No I didn't call in."
                  "Book, what book?" all customer WTF are in there
                  "What reiciept? I never got one!" We have to give you a reiciept because it has your number to get the food on it.
                  V-Con 2009 and Anime Evolution 2010

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                  • #10
                    "Customer service told me that you can....."

                    "The other store said you had XYZ in stock...."

                    "The other store said you can....."

                    "I'm friends with the chairman of your board...." (Yes, I actually get this one)
                    Quote Dalesys:
                    ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

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                    • #11
                      Smells

                      People who you smell before you can actually see them.
                      ...but I'm a bastard and so desensitized to the scum of humanity that I'm immune to the Stun status effect.
                      Quoth Gravekeeper

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                      • #12
                        "I was down in the Keys this weekend and...."

                        (Usually means that their phone got wet)
                        Quote Dalesys:
                        ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

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                        • #13
                          "Well maybe YOUUUUUUUU can help me."

                          I can guarantee these people right off the bat that as soon as they utter that sentence, I know for a fact I will have no clue about whatever they're about to ask. Usually, the Library of Congress wouldn't have enough information to answer this question, let alone some bored essentially-a-teenager sitting at a newspaper office in Bumf**k, Texas.
                          "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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                          • #14
                            They're carrying a little scrap of paper with something written on it. Whatever is written on that paper, we don't have. They have been sent to the wrong store. I don't know why that was always true, but it never failed. Piece of paper = wrong wine store.

                            If you have to ask, it's probably better posted at www.fratching.com

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                            • #15
                              These usually tip me off that there's gonna be difficulty.

                              1) I can track eyes. I can tell where they are looking on the menu
                              2) People who hem and haw, while swaying, almost drooling at the case.
                              3) Families. Who brings their entire family into a gas station to buy chicken?
                              4) Old people with a permanent scowl. Usually are difficult about our menu, wanting to exchange one type of chicken for another ("You cannot buy a leg and thigh dinner, and exchange both pieces for breasts! That's the 2-breast dinner!" ; "You cannot exchange the dinner roll for 6 extra wedges")
                              5) People who ignore the menu taped to the counter, and grab another identical one off the stack. Usually ignorant of just how much chicken 20 pieces is.
                              6) People who hold their finger over the 8-piece dinner, because suddenly their finger discovers gravity, and they select the 20 piece.


                              Yes, we have to sell the 20 piece. Yes, it's our job, but we'd still rather get a call-in order, because 20 pieces is over half a batch, and it takes 20 minutes to make a batch. While nothing is stopping me from going to Little Caesars and asking for six of the Hot-n-Ready pizzas, it's still just courtesy to call ahead and place an order.
                              I've been here for two years, work harder than most others, and I'm getting paid $1.80 an hour
                              less than the 17 year old slacker you hired two months ago. Maybe that's why I'm not chipper at work.

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