Repeat after me: "C ... L ... O ... S ... E ... D ..."

[wolfie]

Seems to me there's a saying about leading a horse to water.

But if you can't make a horse drink, how is the vet supposed to be able to float its teeth?

[Kagato]

I don't know why, but the title reminded me of the simpsons episode where they go to Australia and the bartender would only hear the word "beer", but replacing it with

Pix: "C... L..."
SC: "O... P..."

[midnightaurora]

So we're back to pre-Christmas hours, yay! On Tuesday this meant we closed at 5 p.m. We wheeled all our signs and little display thingies back into the shop and pulled the metal gate across the front of the store (we can't lock it from the inside, or we're stuck in there until somebody shows up next day with a key ... )

Ass't. mgr. was busy counting out the till when a customer stuck her head in through the closed-but-not-locked gate. This is TEN minutes after we officially closed.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You don't have a locking door for your storefront? And of course, you have to count registers and make out the deposit nightly, yes?

That makes less sense than my district manager telling us that separating out the games on the wall in three different price points would be easier for holiday hires than having them all in one section.

Though, I'm sure you've had that conversation many a times with no changes. Ah, corporates...

[Jester]

"Customer Announcement: We'd like to draw your attention to the fact that the time is now half past four and your [name] store has been closed for half an hour. We know you love us, but it is time for you to go home. We open again at 8AM tomorrow so you can come and see us again then. Please make your way to the checkouts immediately."

When I used to DJ at the clothing optional bar, at the end of the night, people wouldn't want to leave, or make any sign of doing so. Thus was my Closing Spiel born:

"Ladies and gentlemen, [Clothing Optional Bar] is now closed. We will be open again tomorrow at 10 am, and we look forward to seeing you then. But at this time, if you are not staff, if you are not sleeping with the staff, and if the staff has no intention of sleeping with you, it is now time for you to get dressed and get the fuck out. Thank you, and have a good night."

At which point I'd then kill the music and the bouncer would bring what few house lights we had on. Anyone who still didn't go was approached by security and ushered towards the exits.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"Ladies and gentlemen, [Clothing Optional Bar] is now closed. We will be open again tomorrow at 10 am, and we look forward to seeing you then. But at this time, if you are not staff, if you are not sleeping with the staff, and if the staff has no intention of sleeping with you, it is now time for you to get dressed and get the fuck out. Thank you, and have a good night."

Too bad we can't use that one at the Litter Box . . . that would be EPIC.

Just need to add to that that anyone who insists on staying is trespassing and police will be called in 5 minutes if they aren't out the door.

[Dreamstalker]

Too bad we can't use that one at the Litter Box . . . that would be EPIC.

Great minds think alike, I see

I used the 'trespassing' line a few times when we stayed way over closing, but SM somehow found out about it and I was told to stop as it's not true (really ) and 'poor customer service'. I asked what would he prefer--'poor customer service' and us getting out on time (thus keeping Corporate happy by not seeing excessive late punches), or 'good customer service', excessive late punches making Corp suspicious--which would be on his head--and the liability associated with having customers in the store when full pallets are being brought out?

I never got an answer, but I'm still not allowed to say that the alarms are active and anyone without a store nametag needs to be out within three minutes.

[Phantomgrift]

Two stand out in my mind from back in the day when I worked Greyhound.

One was all the lights were off, I'm physically outside the store, about to lock the door... And some random homeless guy tried to shoulder his way past me. I had to repeat myself about three times before he picked up that yes, we were closed, and no, I wasn't going to let him in.

The funnier one was when we were closed, doors locked, lights are out and I'm mopping by streetlight through the window. A car screeches up, this lady jumps out, runs over to the window and starts banging on it, demanding a ticket. I simply shrug, indicate the gloomy nature of the place with a nod, and continue mopping. She turns, goes back to her car, starts to get in and then stops... Runs back to the window, pounds on it again and declares: "I'M FBI!"

Yeah lady, and I'm the Pope... Go away.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

The funnier one was when we were closed, doors locked, lights are out and I'm mopping by streetlight through the window. A car screeches up, this lady jumps out, runs over to the window and starts banging on it, demanding a ticket. I simply shrug, indicate the gloomy nature of the place with a nod, and continue mopping. She turns, goes back to her car, starts to get in and then stops... Runs back to the window, pounds on it again and declares: "I'M FBI!"

Yeah lady, and I'm the Pope... Go away.

That would have warranted a phone call to 911 and let the real cops meet "I'm FBI" Woman . . .who in turn could have been introduced to the real FBI.

Betcha she wouldn't try that tactic again . . . the Feds take a dim view of folks who try to impersonate them.

[dendawg]

SC: "O... P..."

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Lachrymose]

"I'M FBI!"

Forsaken By Intelligence?
Fucking Batshit Insane?

[Pixilated]

Either one of those would work quite nicely, LOL.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. You don't have a locking door for your storefront?*snip*.

We are in a mall so we do have one of those metal gates that closes off the storefront (when it's not broken in various places ... don't ask ...) but if I remember correctly, I was told that if you lock it from the inside, there's no way to unlock it from the inside. So the best we can do is pull it all the way over until such time as we actually leave the store ... THEN we can lock it.

[Lovecats]

We closed at 9pm on Christmas Eve. They started making announcements at 8 on the overhead.
The operator usually starts those at a quarter to the hour. At 5 to 9 we STILL had people just walking leisurely around. The manager asked me if I could just jump on the express to try to get the people out faster (this after the operator had made the closing announcement 5 times already). I got done at 10 after and there was still some guy standing at the greeting cards just kinda looking and not really in any hurry. The manager that night was a really nice, sweet lady but she very firmly said to him, "Sir, we are closed! You need to get to the registers NOW!" And then I heard later that they had some customer walking around in the electronics section at 20 past.

[emax4]

"Ladies and gentlemen, [Clothing Optional Bar] is now closed. We will be open again tomorrow at 10 am, and we look forward to seeing you then. But at this time, if you are not staff, if you are not sleeping with the staff, and if the staff has no intention of sleeping with you, it is now time for you to get dressed and get the fuck out. Thank you, and have a good night."

Imagine the hilarity if that closing announcement were used on stragglers at a dialysis clinic...

I have a recent experience from the hardware store known as "High's". Just a few days ago I'm ringing up an older woman at the register as it was around 9:10 or so. She decided after her purchase was completed to buy a gift card or two (right there at my register). I went ahead and rang up the next customer quickly, and the old lady was still shopping for a gift card. Now our recent rules state that because ONE customer got offended months ago at being rushed out from the closing announcements, that we are no longer permitted to tell customer's in the store that we're closed, but I would have none of it. I simply told her, "M'am, it's 9:15 and we're closed. You're gonna have to pick out a gift card now or I won't be able to ring you up.." She seemed miffed, but sheepishly accepted defeat. I don't think she was intentionally trying to stall, but oh well.

Sometimes I'll be outside getting carts, and I love seeing those excited couples and families that pull in to our lot when the store name lights are out, the rest of the lot is virtually empty, and they get outside to the door expecting us to be open. A few months back I had an idea to add a "C" at the beginning of our name and a "D" at the end of our name and simply keep the sign lit when the store is... well, look for yourself:

[Dreamstalker]

Now our recent rules state that because ONE customer got offended months ago at being rushed out from the closing announcements, that we are no longer permitted to tell customer's in the store that we're closed

I think that's why we can't do the same unless it's actually past closing time...not that anybody cares. I can tell when certain shift leads do the final announcement that they're just itching to say "GTFO!"

A few people agree with me that we need RFID-looking stickers to reinforce the 'alarm is armed, anyone without a nametag needs to be out in two minutes' excuse.

[Lace Neil Singer]

With us, we have to push stragglers out cuz it's a legal thing, ie we have to abide by trading hours. Also, one of those stragglers could be a Trading Standards snitch and we could end up in trouble.