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Been a while since I've had any real SC stuff to post...but man, this first week of the year was just plain weird.
Schrödinger's Dog Poop?
Possible Insane Guest: "I just walked by the side exit of your building (points) and there's a dog tied up out there in the cold. He has shit everywhere and you can't walk out there because he's so aggressive! It's like a damn kennel out there!!!"
Me: I see, I wasn't aware of that. I'll see if I recognize the dog to get him claimed, or call someone to take care of it.
PIG: It's insane that you allow this!!!
Me: We don't allow people to leave their dogs out there, actually. Like I said, I will take care of that, and thank you.
PIG: UNBELIEVABLE! *storms off*
I go outside to check the exit and...well, how to describe this? How about "there was no dog, no shit, and no 'kennel'"? I checked all the exits to make sure...nothing. So maybe it's some sort of weird logic puzzle; when I can't see the outside, everything is covered in poop, but when I can see the inside, the poop isn't there. The world is poop, the world is not poop. Schrödinger's Poop World. Of poop.
My fiancee said I couldn't use Schrödinger three times in one post, but there it went, so screw you honey!
The Husband Thief
Some background on this one, we have a family staying with us since their house has some weather-related damages. They've been pretty uneventful, though I can't figure out their dynamics. It's an infant, and the man/woman have different last names, so no one knows if they are married, engaged, or what, so no one knows how to talk to them (ie, we don't ask 'how is your wife'). As of now, the wife/girlfriend/whatever has been hospitalized 3 times; once with the flu, once with...something that we don't know, and now again with some unknown thing. This leads me to wonder if there's something mental going on, which was only enhanced this week when I got a very strange call.
Possibly Crazy Woman: (over the phone) Has a man come through the lobby and gone in the elevator?
Me: Uh...well, I suppose it's possible?
PCW: Just tell me if a man has come through the lobby!
Me: I haven't always been in the lobby all night, I've stepped away from the desk a few times. Perhaps if you were more specific about who "a man" is...?
PCW: This is PCW in room ###. The man I'm with (why won't you just say boyfriend/husband/accomplice in 12 murders!?!?) left me at the hospital, and he took my money. I want him to return it or I want him to pack his things and leave now. If he doesn't come here, I want you to get an officer involved now.
Me: There are some problems with that. One, you are both registered for the room, we can't simply legally throw him out. Two, I can't call the police for a complaint YOU are making when you're not here, and there's no immediate danger. That's not even "he said, she said", that's "I said she said he said", which they won't even bother responding for. I also don't even know for sure if he's here.
Side note, he may have been there, but it was 4am and I'd seen him over 5 hours previous to that. For all I knew he was gone, and I wasn't going to call up to the room to find out.
PCW: JUST GET IT DONE! And call me at ###-###-#### when it's resolved. *click*
Me: /shrug, nope!
Gave it to the GM in the morning, who called PCW's cell phone and left a voice mail. Supposedly she dealt with the guy overnight and resolved everything...but good lord, what the hell did I get thrown into with these people? It wouldn't be so bad, but for over 3 weeks they were perfectly normal people who didn't cause a single problem, so why is it all of the sudden that I have to play Captain Domestic Avenger for someone who may or may not believe that she can control the color purple with the power of nipple tassels? Every time I talk to this woman, I become more and more assured of the fact that she's in the hospital because she's liable to eat the engine block of a passing vehicle, then proceed to try and indoctrinate a cat into the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Thanks for the items!
One of our housekeepers went into a room to make sure it was clean, since it hadn't been used in a while. It had, in fact, not been used in over a month so it would need some touch ups (dusting and the like), but it had been cleaned and inspected since the last guest. Not so much any more.
Somehow, someone got into the room and took everything they could: sheets, blankets, the shower head, and a ton of other little miscellaneous items that no one would ever think to take from a room. Whoever did it left a little note that read "Thanks for the items!" Thankfully we checked it before someone got checked in to that room. o.O These kids just keep getting weirder...
Schrödinger. Phteven.
Schrödinger's Dog Poop?
Possible Insane Guest: "I just walked by the side exit of your building (points) and there's a dog tied up out there in the cold. He has shit everywhere and you can't walk out there because he's so aggressive! It's like a damn kennel out there!!!"
Me: I see, I wasn't aware of that. I'll see if I recognize the dog to get him claimed, or call someone to take care of it.
PIG: It's insane that you allow this!!!
Me: We don't allow people to leave their dogs out there, actually. Like I said, I will take care of that, and thank you.
PIG: UNBELIEVABLE! *storms off*
I go outside to check the exit and...well, how to describe this? How about "there was no dog, no shit, and no 'kennel'"? I checked all the exits to make sure...nothing. So maybe it's some sort of weird logic puzzle; when I can't see the outside, everything is covered in poop, but when I can see the inside, the poop isn't there. The world is poop, the world is not poop. Schrödinger's Poop World. Of poop.
My fiancee said I couldn't use Schrödinger three times in one post, but there it went, so screw you honey!
The Husband Thief
Some background on this one, we have a family staying with us since their house has some weather-related damages. They've been pretty uneventful, though I can't figure out their dynamics. It's an infant, and the man/woman have different last names, so no one knows if they are married, engaged, or what, so no one knows how to talk to them (ie, we don't ask 'how is your wife'). As of now, the wife/girlfriend/whatever has been hospitalized 3 times; once with the flu, once with...something that we don't know, and now again with some unknown thing. This leads me to wonder if there's something mental going on, which was only enhanced this week when I got a very strange call.
Possibly Crazy Woman: (over the phone) Has a man come through the lobby and gone in the elevator?
Me: Uh...well, I suppose it's possible?
PCW: Just tell me if a man has come through the lobby!
Me: I haven't always been in the lobby all night, I've stepped away from the desk a few times. Perhaps if you were more specific about who "a man" is...?
PCW: This is PCW in room ###. The man I'm with (why won't you just say boyfriend/husband/accomplice in 12 murders!?!?) left me at the hospital, and he took my money. I want him to return it or I want him to pack his things and leave now. If he doesn't come here, I want you to get an officer involved now.
Me: There are some problems with that. One, you are both registered for the room, we can't simply legally throw him out. Two, I can't call the police for a complaint YOU are making when you're not here, and there's no immediate danger. That's not even "he said, she said", that's "I said she said he said", which they won't even bother responding for. I also don't even know for sure if he's here.
Side note, he may have been there, but it was 4am and I'd seen him over 5 hours previous to that. For all I knew he was gone, and I wasn't going to call up to the room to find out.
PCW: JUST GET IT DONE! And call me at ###-###-#### when it's resolved. *click*
Me: /shrug, nope!
Gave it to the GM in the morning, who called PCW's cell phone and left a voice mail. Supposedly she dealt with the guy overnight and resolved everything...but good lord, what the hell did I get thrown into with these people? It wouldn't be so bad, but for over 3 weeks they were perfectly normal people who didn't cause a single problem, so why is it all of the sudden that I have to play Captain Domestic Avenger for someone who may or may not believe that she can control the color purple with the power of nipple tassels? Every time I talk to this woman, I become more and more assured of the fact that she's in the hospital because she's liable to eat the engine block of a passing vehicle, then proceed to try and indoctrinate a cat into the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Thanks for the items!
One of our housekeepers went into a room to make sure it was clean, since it hadn't been used in a while. It had, in fact, not been used in over a month so it would need some touch ups (dusting and the like), but it had been cleaned and inspected since the last guest. Not so much any more.
Somehow, someone got into the room and took everything they could: sheets, blankets, the shower head, and a ton of other little miscellaneous items that no one would ever think to take from a room. Whoever did it left a little note that read "Thanks for the items!" Thankfully we checked it before someone got checked in to that room. o.O These kids just keep getting weirder...
Schrödinger. Phteven.
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