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[Don LaFontane] IN A WORLD, WITHOUT STREETS..........[/Don LaFontane]
Woman comes in to get her car, we towed it from a private apartment lot across the street from a restaurant, which is obviously where she was. Not just an educated guess, she told us so.
- How could you tow me?! I WAS AT THE RESTAURANT!
- Doesn't matter, you parked in the apartment lot. Can't do that without a permit.
- But I was RIGHT THERE!
- No, you were in a private lot for that apartment. And there are NO signs whatsoever in that lot indicating it's owned by the restaurant or is parking for them. I mean, what made you think that something on the other side of the street belongs to that restaurant?
- I did not park across the street!
- Uh, yes you did... space 15 at the apartment lot is where you got towed from.
- No! That's NOT a street!
So the green sign on a post at the corner immediately adjacent to where you parked that says "HILLTOP AV" doesn't count eh? I disagree with your assessment. Know who else might disagree? The police, who drive down that alleged not-street all the time because their STATION is on the left about 100 yards from where you parked.
- Yes it is a street Ma'm
- Well, I don't think it is!
Whew, I'm glad the world runs on it's own rules, not the ones you "think" it should. If it ran to your specifications, I have a feeling the sky would be pink and white checkerboards, birds would fly backwards, snozberries wouldn't taste like snozberries and trees would just randomly uproot themselves and float away into that picnic-blanket colored sky..... though a world without streets would be....... devastating to us and our business, the horror, the HORROR!
As it was, we never got the chance to tell her that, she quickly had ANOTHER complaint.
- And the numbers on the ground are all faded! I couldn't read them!
- Excuse me?
- You can't read the numbers on the ground!
- You mean the ones in the spaces?
- Yes! I can't even TELL that this is a 15! I took pictures!
- Well, those don't mean anything really, numbers or not, it's a private lot and you didn't have a permit.
(The stalls are numbered per each apartment unit at the building, but, over the years they've faded to the point of not being visible at night. The property owner has decided not to repaint them, and just tells the tenants to park anywhere they want as long as they have permits. So what if you can't see em? It's irrelevant, they don't change the fact there's a big sign on the WALL that says "Private Parking", three of em' in fact.)
- But you can't read the numbers!
- It doesn't matter
- Well, I'm calling the manager in the morning to complain!
She did, he told her it didn't matter either.
She then complained there weren't enough signs
He informed her that at three signs and about 30 spaces, the lot is OVERSIGNED per borough ordinance.
She then complained that in HER town, you have to put a sign in front of EVERY space you can't park in. Don't know if that's true, but manager told her it doesn't matter either, you're on OUR turf here and house rules apply, 1 sign per 25 spaces is all that's needed
"And how do I know that's true?!" She demanded
"Borough website, Google it" said the manager, as he hung up, declaring:
"Man, I'm just so tired of stupid people. Do they think I'm going to refund them out of pity?"
[Don LaFontane] IN A WORLD, WITHOUT MONEY..........[/Don LaFontane]
Walking to the front of the garage ready to put my paperwork away for the night, I hear someone rattling on the other side of the front door.
Unlocking it, I find two guys, whom I dub Buddy and Buddy's Buddy. Buddy steps up and the fun begins.
Buddy - Hey, you towed my car.
Me -Okay, which one was that?
Buddy - Black Ford
Me -This one from Maple Street?
Buddy - Yeah
Me - Alright, that will be $130
Buddy - Aw maaaaan... that' a LOT of money
Me -$115 is the base fee for a tow, set by Borough ordinance, and the lot you got towed from issues tickets, there's a $15 ticket on this car.
Buddy -Can I just have it for less?
Me -Nope
Buddy - Can I just like, pay, partially and bring you the rest later?
Me - No, you have to pay in full before the car is released
Buddy - But I dont, like, have that money
Me - ....
? Like that statement dignifies a response? Cause and Effect man, cause and effect..... no shoes no shirt no service.... no tickey no shirtey..... no money... no car.....
Buddy - I got twenty bucks, I mean, can I just give you like, a twenty? And then come back later with the rest?
Me -No
Buddy - But, see, the problem is I don't have that money, and I wanna drive home!
Me -Unless you pay in full, now, I will not release this car
Buddy -Okay, here *gives credit card* I probably don't have enough.
I run card, humoring him really, I know it's not going to work. Yep, just as expected, the machine made the Unhappy Beep (tm)
Me - That card is declined Sir
Buddy - Look, can I just, call someone? And get a card over the phone?
Me - Nope, physical card in hand right here in front of me is the only way I can take payment
Now, Buddy's buddy steps up to bat.
BB - Here, just use my card!
I run card, holding my breath a bit. In fact, I'm hoping for a fail, this is one of those weird cards that doesn't have raised/imprinted numbers, so if it DOES go through, we're going to need his license or a form of photo ID and a phone number, just to be safe, policy and all. And based on his attitude (he's been giving me the evil eye the whole time) he's going to treat me asking for his license as if I just asked him for a urine sample............. whew, the machine made the Unhappy Beep (tm), again. Home free.
Sorry, that card is declined
BB- What do you mean?!
Me- I mean it declined, it says right here on my terminal "DECLINE: INSUFFICIENT FUNDS"
BB- Aren't you supposed to be 24 hour?
Me- We are
BB- Then why was that door locked?!
Me- Because I was in the back at the time, I can't leave it unlocked when it's not attended
BB- Then you aren't really 24 hour are you?!
sigh, so you KNOW the rules better than me huh? Or maybe fishing for a discount? Nice try Quint, but you're going to need a bigger boat.*
Me - Yes, I am, and per borough ordinance, I have 30 minutes to respond to anyone coming in to pick up a car, sir. You waited about 4 seconds.
BB- And you can't, do anything... about the price?
Me - Nope, these are borough minimums, can't go any lower than this, but on the bright side, you have until 11pm tomorrow night to pick it up for the exact same price without gaining additional fees for storage.
BB calls a third friend on his cell to come and pick both of them up. Yes, apparently the WALKED over here from where they got towed, in 5 degree weather, and expected somehow to get their car back.... when they've apparently only got $20 between them.
Car soon pulls up, and BB joins Buddy in the walk of shame out the front door and I lock it behind them. Now I'm wondering, much like manager was, do people try these excuses hoping I'll take pity on them? Sorry, that ran out a long long time ago.... because now I live... IN A WORLD, WITHOUT REMORSE!
Woman comes in to get her car, we towed it from a private apartment lot across the street from a restaurant, which is obviously where she was. Not just an educated guess, she told us so.
- How could you tow me?! I WAS AT THE RESTAURANT!
- Doesn't matter, you parked in the apartment lot. Can't do that without a permit.
- But I was RIGHT THERE!
- No, you were in a private lot for that apartment. And there are NO signs whatsoever in that lot indicating it's owned by the restaurant or is parking for them. I mean, what made you think that something on the other side of the street belongs to that restaurant?
- I did not park across the street!
- Uh, yes you did... space 15 at the apartment lot is where you got towed from.
- No! That's NOT a street!
So the green sign on a post at the corner immediately adjacent to where you parked that says "HILLTOP AV" doesn't count eh? I disagree with your assessment. Know who else might disagree? The police, who drive down that alleged not-street all the time because their STATION is on the left about 100 yards from where you parked.
- Yes it is a street Ma'm
- Well, I don't think it is!
Whew, I'm glad the world runs on it's own rules, not the ones you "think" it should. If it ran to your specifications, I have a feeling the sky would be pink and white checkerboards, birds would fly backwards, snozberries wouldn't taste like snozberries and trees would just randomly uproot themselves and float away into that picnic-blanket colored sky..... though a world without streets would be....... devastating to us and our business, the horror, the HORROR!
As it was, we never got the chance to tell her that, she quickly had ANOTHER complaint.
- And the numbers on the ground are all faded! I couldn't read them!
- Excuse me?
- You can't read the numbers on the ground!
- You mean the ones in the spaces?
- Yes! I can't even TELL that this is a 15! I took pictures!
- Well, those don't mean anything really, numbers or not, it's a private lot and you didn't have a permit.
(The stalls are numbered per each apartment unit at the building, but, over the years they've faded to the point of not being visible at night. The property owner has decided not to repaint them, and just tells the tenants to park anywhere they want as long as they have permits. So what if you can't see em? It's irrelevant, they don't change the fact there's a big sign on the WALL that says "Private Parking", three of em' in fact.)
- But you can't read the numbers!
- It doesn't matter
- Well, I'm calling the manager in the morning to complain!
She did, he told her it didn't matter either.
She then complained there weren't enough signs
He informed her that at three signs and about 30 spaces, the lot is OVERSIGNED per borough ordinance.
She then complained that in HER town, you have to put a sign in front of EVERY space you can't park in. Don't know if that's true, but manager told her it doesn't matter either, you're on OUR turf here and house rules apply, 1 sign per 25 spaces is all that's needed
"And how do I know that's true?!" She demanded
"Borough website, Google it" said the manager, as he hung up, declaring:
"Man, I'm just so tired of stupid people. Do they think I'm going to refund them out of pity?"
[Don LaFontane] IN A WORLD, WITHOUT MONEY..........[/Don LaFontane]
Walking to the front of the garage ready to put my paperwork away for the night, I hear someone rattling on the other side of the front door.
Unlocking it, I find two guys, whom I dub Buddy and Buddy's Buddy. Buddy steps up and the fun begins.
Buddy - Hey, you towed my car.
Me -Okay, which one was that?
Buddy - Black Ford
Me -This one from Maple Street?
Buddy - Yeah
Me - Alright, that will be $130
Buddy - Aw maaaaan... that' a LOT of money
Me -$115 is the base fee for a tow, set by Borough ordinance, and the lot you got towed from issues tickets, there's a $15 ticket on this car.
Buddy -Can I just have it for less?
Me -Nope
Buddy - Can I just like, pay, partially and bring you the rest later?
Me - No, you have to pay in full before the car is released
Buddy - But I dont, like, have that money
Me - ....
? Like that statement dignifies a response? Cause and Effect man, cause and effect..... no shoes no shirt no service.... no tickey no shirtey..... no money... no car.....
Buddy - I got twenty bucks, I mean, can I just give you like, a twenty? And then come back later with the rest?
Me -No
Buddy - But, see, the problem is I don't have that money, and I wanna drive home!
Me -Unless you pay in full, now, I will not release this car
Buddy -Okay, here *gives credit card* I probably don't have enough.
I run card, humoring him really, I know it's not going to work. Yep, just as expected, the machine made the Unhappy Beep (tm)
Me - That card is declined Sir
Buddy - Look, can I just, call someone? And get a card over the phone?
Me - Nope, physical card in hand right here in front of me is the only way I can take payment
Now, Buddy's buddy steps up to bat.
BB - Here, just use my card!
I run card, holding my breath a bit. In fact, I'm hoping for a fail, this is one of those weird cards that doesn't have raised/imprinted numbers, so if it DOES go through, we're going to need his license or a form of photo ID and a phone number, just to be safe, policy and all. And based on his attitude (he's been giving me the evil eye the whole time) he's going to treat me asking for his license as if I just asked him for a urine sample............. whew, the machine made the Unhappy Beep (tm), again. Home free.
Sorry, that card is declined
BB- What do you mean?!
Me- I mean it declined, it says right here on my terminal "DECLINE: INSUFFICIENT FUNDS"
BB- Aren't you supposed to be 24 hour?
Me- We are
BB- Then why was that door locked?!
Me- Because I was in the back at the time, I can't leave it unlocked when it's not attended
BB- Then you aren't really 24 hour are you?!
sigh, so you KNOW the rules better than me huh? Or maybe fishing for a discount? Nice try Quint, but you're going to need a bigger boat.*
Me - Yes, I am, and per borough ordinance, I have 30 minutes to respond to anyone coming in to pick up a car, sir. You waited about 4 seconds.
BB- And you can't, do anything... about the price?
Me - Nope, these are borough minimums, can't go any lower than this, but on the bright side, you have until 11pm tomorrow night to pick it up for the exact same price without gaining additional fees for storage.
BB calls a third friend on his cell to come and pick both of them up. Yes, apparently the WALKED over here from where they got towed, in 5 degree weather, and expected somehow to get their car back.... when they've apparently only got $20 between them.
Car soon pulls up, and BB joins Buddy in the walk of shame out the front door and I lock it behind them. Now I'm wondering, much like manager was, do people try these excuses hoping I'll take pity on them? Sorry, that ran out a long long time ago.... because now I live... IN A WORLD, WITHOUT REMORSE!
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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