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More tales from cinema paradiso! First up, not so much sucky customers as a little irritating due to the frequency this happens.
People who need to visit the rest room during the movie, one I had just seconds ago did this very thing. You know the drill, you buy bucket-sized overpriced drinks and sooner or later, nature will be calling you urgently. So you get up and go to pay the rest room a visit, forgetting to take your ticket stub with you.
Everyone does this, don't panic, your usher will remember you, especially if you're the only one who's wandering around and all the movies are playing.
That's exactly what went on a moment ago, a middle aged gentleman wandered out of the auditorium and so I glanced up to see what he looked like in order to know I don't need to check his ticket all over again and slow him down. It took me a split second to register his face, but he's not convinced I will remember him, so he walks over towards me, still keeping his code of silent miscommunication. And what's more, he's doing the creepy stare.
You know the stare, expectant, begs to be questioned yet you can't bring yourself to do anything except think "that's just creepy"
And yet he still doesn't seem convinced I have seen him. So he gets closer, close enough that I can smell his stale coffee breath and finally asks "Will you remember me?"
And I'm thinking; how could I FORGET you?
He even asks me all over again when he returns not even five minutes after he left the auditorium.
And now to a particularly disgusting tale that happened yesterday...
A mother and her two little broodlings were in one of the screens for a kids show, these kids couldn't have been over the age of three, all fuelled up on sugary snacks and going mental. But that's ok, a bit of popcorn on the floor never harmed anyone. It's a kids screening, you come to expect it'll be messy.
What you don't expect is for one of the kids to decide to relieve themselves in their seat!
I jest not (as much as I would love this to be a joke).
The first I became aware of this, was the mother leaving the screen at high speed, carrying one kid and tugging the other child along by her arm. And had it not been for the sizable stain on the girls leggings, and the fact she proudly announced "Mummy I've done a wee!" No one would have been any the wiser to the fact she'd just covered her seat in pee.
So I tried and failed to stop her from evading cleaning that mess up, she was already half way out the door when I heard it. So of course, who has to clean up because HER child couldn't hold on any longer? Yes, good old LoT.
Does the suckiness stop there? I should be so lucky. More toilet based shenanigans coming right up.
Parent and baby morning should never have been mixed with old person afternoon. Whichever big wig at head office came up with that idea, needs to spend a little time here, dealing with all the sucky customers we get as a result of this invention.
Our elderly customers aren't known for their patience, no do they flinch at being abrasive with others when they think they are entitled to something (everything). So after the parent and baby performance kicks out, I've got 15 minutes to clean up before the OAP one begins. Plenty of time, but first I needed to play an impromptu game of "Where's the full discarded nappy?"
Parents. Like a responsible dog owner, you are ALSO expected to pick up your child's mess when it poops and deposit it in the nappy bins provided. Not, as you seem to think, shoving a full nappy down the side, back or underneath of your seat, or most grossly of all, the cup holder, for the staff to discover. Would you do that in someone's house? I think not.
So I think my game of Doody mine sweeper is done with, I've been picking up the last of the rubbish when the door opens and an elderly man peers in.
OM: "There's a large queue of people outside!"
Me: "That's because I'm not finished cleaning this screen yet."
OM: "We have been waiting ages!"
It's worth mentioning that I was in there five minutes tops. The pensioners seem to love turning up extra early for everything and get annoyed when they can't go in and take their seats.
And I am irritated at already needing to clean up poop.
Me: You've been waiting for five minutes, the show doesn't start for another ten. Nothing is going to start without you, because I am the one who needs to start it."
OM: "Well hurry up we've been waiting-
This is the point I knew I was going to lose MY patience if he tried to tell me how looooong he'd been waiting. So I had to take a step back and walk away with a
"Done! Feel free to take a seat" it's probably covered in baby poop but since your need to be seated is so great, be my guest.
Ironic thing is, these are the very same people who make loads of mess, forcing the usher to clean for longer.
And now I'm hearing this same man's wife screamed at the kiosk staff for accidentally giving her a decaf coffee instead of a regular. Lovely couple!
People who need to visit the rest room during the movie, one I had just seconds ago did this very thing. You know the drill, you buy bucket-sized overpriced drinks and sooner or later, nature will be calling you urgently. So you get up and go to pay the rest room a visit, forgetting to take your ticket stub with you.
Everyone does this, don't panic, your usher will remember you, especially if you're the only one who's wandering around and all the movies are playing.
That's exactly what went on a moment ago, a middle aged gentleman wandered out of the auditorium and so I glanced up to see what he looked like in order to know I don't need to check his ticket all over again and slow him down. It took me a split second to register his face, but he's not convinced I will remember him, so he walks over towards me, still keeping his code of silent miscommunication. And what's more, he's doing the creepy stare.
You know the stare, expectant, begs to be questioned yet you can't bring yourself to do anything except think "that's just creepy"
And yet he still doesn't seem convinced I have seen him. So he gets closer, close enough that I can smell his stale coffee breath and finally asks "Will you remember me?"
And I'm thinking; how could I FORGET you?
He even asks me all over again when he returns not even five minutes after he left the auditorium.
And now to a particularly disgusting tale that happened yesterday...
A mother and her two little broodlings were in one of the screens for a kids show, these kids couldn't have been over the age of three, all fuelled up on sugary snacks and going mental. But that's ok, a bit of popcorn on the floor never harmed anyone. It's a kids screening, you come to expect it'll be messy.
What you don't expect is for one of the kids to decide to relieve themselves in their seat!
I jest not (as much as I would love this to be a joke).
The first I became aware of this, was the mother leaving the screen at high speed, carrying one kid and tugging the other child along by her arm. And had it not been for the sizable stain on the girls leggings, and the fact she proudly announced "Mummy I've done a wee!" No one would have been any the wiser to the fact she'd just covered her seat in pee.
So I tried and failed to stop her from evading cleaning that mess up, she was already half way out the door when I heard it. So of course, who has to clean up because HER child couldn't hold on any longer? Yes, good old LoT.
Does the suckiness stop there? I should be so lucky. More toilet based shenanigans coming right up.
Parent and baby morning should never have been mixed with old person afternoon. Whichever big wig at head office came up with that idea, needs to spend a little time here, dealing with all the sucky customers we get as a result of this invention.
Our elderly customers aren't known for their patience, no do they flinch at being abrasive with others when they think they are entitled to something (everything). So after the parent and baby performance kicks out, I've got 15 minutes to clean up before the OAP one begins. Plenty of time, but first I needed to play an impromptu game of "Where's the full discarded nappy?"
Parents. Like a responsible dog owner, you are ALSO expected to pick up your child's mess when it poops and deposit it in the nappy bins provided. Not, as you seem to think, shoving a full nappy down the side, back or underneath of your seat, or most grossly of all, the cup holder, for the staff to discover. Would you do that in someone's house? I think not.
So I think my game of Doody mine sweeper is done with, I've been picking up the last of the rubbish when the door opens and an elderly man peers in.
OM: "There's a large queue of people outside!"
Me: "That's because I'm not finished cleaning this screen yet."
OM: "We have been waiting ages!"
It's worth mentioning that I was in there five minutes tops. The pensioners seem to love turning up extra early for everything and get annoyed when they can't go in and take their seats.
And I am irritated at already needing to clean up poop.
Me: You've been waiting for five minutes, the show doesn't start for another ten. Nothing is going to start without you, because I am the one who needs to start it."
OM: "Well hurry up we've been waiting-
This is the point I knew I was going to lose MY patience if he tried to tell me how looooong he'd been waiting. So I had to take a step back and walk away with a
"Done! Feel free to take a seat" it's probably covered in baby poop but since your need to be seated is so great, be my guest.
Ironic thing is, these are the very same people who make loads of mess, forcing the usher to clean for longer.
And now I'm hearing this same man's wife screamed at the kiosk staff for accidentally giving her a decaf coffee instead of a regular. Lovely couple!
When a child under the age of five tells you they have to go, they are NOT going to "hold it" for very long.
And I must have been an angel in the theatre because no one ever mentions any mishaps from it. Of course, that may be because they DO frequently tell the story of how, on the way to or from the theater (my memory is hazy on this, as I was THREE), I thought it would be great fun to open my car door. From inside the car. While it was moving. At speed. Probably 40-60 mph. And checked out the cool view of the road going past under the car. It was so cool, in fact, that after several moments of watching it, I thought it would be cool to let my mom know about the cool view I had. "Mommy, check this out!" Cue near heart attack, cue near car crash and definitely due anxiety attack of my poor mother. It's a miracle she's aged as well as she has, I tell ya! 
(Years later, Bug and I would attend many Diamondbacks games together.)
Mary Poppins came out in 1964 (I'm a major Disney geek, so sue me. 
), and I'm pretty sure you're not 52. You probably saw it on a re-release though, which is what studios did before VHS and DVD. (I distinctly remember seeing Dumbo in a drive-in, and that movie came out 22 years before I was born.)
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