Say (no) Cheese...(LONG)

[MoonCat]

Ophbalance - So, Centralia's still burning? Man, there should be a way to harness the heat!

Re: a "plain" burger - what kind of idiot even orders something that is listed as a cheeseburger, and then demands that it come without cheese? How on earth can anyone be so stupid that they think there's something different about a "cheeseburger with no cheese" vs. a HAMBURGER (usually no cheese to begin with)?

Honestly, I really believe that some people live such pathetic lives that they get their jollies by making unreasonable demands everywhere they go. It's their way of proving to themselves that they "matter"

[SailorMan]

That's like being shocked your hamburger came with a bun

On my first Merchant Marine ship, I was on the 'shocked' end, for something similar.

Most of the cooks on the ship were born in a country where the typical cuisine served in American homes weren't ever a part of the menu. Such things as spaghetti, which is what I ordered.

"Just spaghetti?" asked the steward, in a surprised voice. I wasn't particularly hungry -- didn't want Italian bread or a veggie, so I replied "Yep." The other officers at the table gave each other looks, but said nothing.

The steward brought me a plate with just the spaghetti noodles. I asked him where the sauce was. Angrily, he told me: "Next time, if you want sauce, you tell me you want sauce!" And then he stormed away.

The officers just laughed at me.

[otakuneko]

So when this guy goes to a burger joint and orders a burger, does he get upset when it comes with lettuce and tomato on it?

[Argus]

I know of exactly ONE place that has a regular pizza without cheese.

And I know of one in Indianapolis with a vegan pizza on the menu: spinach, artichoke hearts, onions, broccoli, green olives, diced tomatoes, portabella mushrooms, and no cheese. (One of the cooks is a vegan.)

[EricKei]

There's a smaller-size, albeit international, pizza chain where I used to work that has a pizza that comes with pesto, fresh basil (as in actual leaves! *gasp*) and feta cheese on it by default -- no mozzarella, but it did have cheese all the same. For the reason I mentioned in another post, pizzas in the US come with cheese unless you request otherwise.

As an aside, that was the place that taught me to appreciate feta I hadn't wanted to try it before that, as I always saw it as this odd crumbly stuff that came in buckets of brine >_< One day, my curiosity got the better of me and we made a crew pie with beef, oregano, mozz, and feta on a white sauce base. end result: I found out that I like feta, and that it's even better toasted on top of the other ingredients Now not only a covert, but an addict. I pick it up whenever the grocery has it on special.

[Ophbalance]

I know of exactly ONE place that has a regular pizza without cheese. And it's a variant of a Pesto pizza with broccoli and spices and whatnot. However, it's not a chain, and it's in North East PA. It's a nice little place, even has a brick oven for doing specialty pies in. But that's more the exception that proves the norm . If any of you folks happen to swing by Centralia to see the never ending fire (well, ok, there's not really anything to SEE) or Pottsville to hit up the Yeungling brewery I can give directions! You cannot spit without hitting a church/bar/italian joint in that neck of the woods.

[PuckLizardRN]

Wow...just wow. I can't think of one pizza that does not come automatically with cheese.

[Evannah]

You gave just as good as he gave you, and for that, I applaud you. I hate that we're supposed to be nice and apologise and bend over backwards to a customer who is screaming and yelling names at us.

[zigcat]

Right? It always confused me too - I'd often ask if they wanted EXTRA cheese as a second ingredient; cue dumbfounded stare.

We do that as well whenever someone asks for what normally comes standard on our pizza: Regular crust, sauce and mozzarella.

[sms001]

I really want to ask them where on this planet they order pizza that doesn't come with cheese.

Right? It always confused me too - I'd often ask if they wanted EXTRA cheese as a second ingredient; cue dumbfounded stare.

[Dizazter]

I have the opposite problem where I work. We do birthday parties and offer a combo deal with a one topping pizza and soda.

Me: What would you like for the one topping?
Them: Pepperoni and cheese.
Me: Ok, so that's a pepperoni and a coke.
Them: Pepperoni and CHEESE.

I really want to ask them where on this planet they order pizza that doesn't come with cheese.

[Seanette]

It may be deliberate mockery, but it's still funny.

[Argabarga]

Next time he orders "chicken and pesto", send them to him in a couple of bowls. He never said he wanted the crust, did he?

Sadly, even when their own shortcomings are turned back on them like that, jerks like the SC in the OP never EVER see how they were in the wrong, and your idea will teach them nothing, except that now the store is deliberately mocking them, and that's BAD SERVICE!!!!!!eleventy!!!!

[Crossbow]

Next time he orders "chicken and pesto", send them to him in a couple of bowls. He never said he wanted the crust, did he?

[EricKei]

whether those mediocre ingredients include stale bread

I can personally vouch for this one from when I lived down NOLA way -- Take stale french bread (at least 24 hours old), cut it into 1" cubes, soak it in an egg wash (beaten eggs and milk), then bake until crispy. Voila: Pain perdu. Literally, "lost bread" - a variation on French toast that goes really well with powdered sugar.

As for sausage...I'm not sure I wanna know exactly what goes in them, tho boudin -- where one of the main ingredients (aside from meat) is rice -- is damn tasty, and a good way to stretch ingredients.