Say (no) Cheese...(LONG)

[NecessaryCatharsis]

siskaren: I so could have written that, except I had an old lady who actually knew the price a cheeseburger was supposed to be, so I couldn't even punch it in as a hamburger and be done with her. Idiot tax, register 2!

[siskaren]

It took awhile, but I finally found this:

http://notalwaysright.com/he-has-bee...e-part-2/33344

[Lace Neil Singer]

At the pizza place, I once had a lady order a pizza with no cheese and no tomato. Yeah, just a dough on its own. At the time she was calling us, she was carrying on an argument with her husband, which was hilarious in itself. I mean, finish shouting at your husband, THEN call for pizza.

Anyway, after she'd placed her order, I heard a man saying, "Order me one as well." The lady yelled back, "But you don't even LIKE pizza!" He replied, "Get me a cheese and tomato without any cheese or tomato!"

The lady then said into the phone, "And a large cheese and tomato without cheese and tomato for my STUPID husband!"

When I came off the phone I was almost crying with laughter. XD He obviously only did that to piss off his wife.

[Jester]

As for sausage...I'm not sure I wanna know exactly what goes in them...

At the risk of repeating myself, as I may have told this story on this site already, I have a great gross sausage story without any gross parts. No, really.

Sophomore year of high school (my first of three high schools), biology class. I sat in the back of the room with Kerry and Dave, and we goofed around. Because we were all good students, Mr. Michalowski (or Mr. Mick, as everyone called him) gave us some leeway.

So one day, Dave and I are explaining to Kerry just what a hot dog actually IS, as well as two fifteen-year-old boys with no experience in the meat-packing business can explain such things. Kerry is not amused with us. So in the middle of the lesson....

"Mr. Mick! Mr. Mick! Mr. Mick!"

(slightly exasperated) "Yes, Kerry, what is it this time?"

"Jester and Dave are being gross!"

"Why, what are they doing?"

So she tells him. Big mistake. Because....

"Well, Kerry, that's actually rather fascinating...."

Being a biology teacher, and being oblivious to who his audience was, Mr. Mick went into a fifteen minute dissertation of just what sausages are and exactly how they're made, with far more detail than Dave or I could have dreamed of. Kerry, most of the girls in the class, and even some of the guys, started turning various shades of green as Mr. Mick droned on about this rather grisly subject. Dave and I, on the other hand, were not only fascinated, but were dying laughing watching our classmates' reactions, especially Kerry's.

She didn't speak to us for two weeks after that.

I desperately need to win a lottery - my dream kitchen...

Don't get me started....whenever I look at apartments, I spend an inordinate time checking out the kitchen. I don't have or want all the stuff you have or want, mind you, but I do want a good-sized kitchen with certain things and stuff.

When I finally move back to Arizona (next year, hopefully), wherever I land, my place is going to have a kickass kitchen. And since I won't be sharing it with any roommates, it'll be mine, mine, MINE!

[taxguykarl]

Next time he orders "chicken and pesto", send them to him in a couple of bowls. He never said he wanted the crust, did he?

Nah, just ban him--he's more trouble than he's worth.

[EricKei]

AD - One thing I saw recently that am tempted to try, but really shouldn't - is pancakes cooked in a rice cooker (one with a top that makes a proper seal, not just a lid). Apparently, they do it well, and you end up with a big poofy pancake...cake ^_^

[Fire_on_High]

. As to pesto, it's mostly basil, olive oil and parmesan cheese, isn't it? .

Parmesan is typically low enough in lactose not to set off many folks who have an intolerance. Not completely lactose free, but rather close to it.

[Cia]

I'm lactose intolerant and there are times I order pizzas w/ extra cheese because I'm smart enough to take a product called Lactaid so I can enjoy the cheesy goodness w/o to many problems.

The guy is a grade A jerk.

[AccountingDrone]

Oooh, that sounds tasty. I have homemade blueberry syrup that would probably do well with them.

Probably. I like them because they are a good solid way to start a morning. I make them so they end up about 3 quarters of an inch thick and the inside is all hot and still slightly oozy with the grains of rice embedded. Sort of like a really solid hot rice pudding almost in the English way of thinking of a pudding rather than the American soft gelatinous ooze. I have no idea where my Mom got the recipe, but it was something we had all the time - never really seen it online anywhere either. You always seem to find regular pancakes where they blend everything into a smooth batter, or savory versions.

I desperately need to win a lottery - my dream kitchen would probably be 30x60 feet, and have a lovely large kitchen at one end with a large country style table as the work island, and a sitting area at the other end for people to hang out in while the cooking goes on, with another room of about the same size right next to it with a 10x10 walk in freezer, a 10x10 walk in refrigerator and a 10x20 vermin proof dry storage and then shelves for all the stuff that doesn't fit in the kitchen normally like a collection of several thousand food molds, cookie cutters, kitchenaid attachments and suchlike. I love to can stuff and bell jars take up a hella lot of room. My pressure canner is the size of a 5 gallon pot. And we won't go into my collection of pots and pans, I have a 100 qt.25 gallon stock pot ... there is a reason we bought a property with a 3 story 20x30 barn ... the barn is way bigger than our 20x40 house.

[Kittish]

Or maybe carolina rice cakes [leftover rice, flour, milk, egg, cinnamon, sugar. Make into a stiff dough and pat into patties, fry up and serve with brandied hard sauce or I suppose golden syrup or maple syrup]

Oooh, that sounds tasty. I have homemade blueberry syrup that would probably do well with them.

[AccountingDrone]

I can personally vouch for this one from when I lived down NOLA way -- Take stale french bread (at least 24 hours old), cut it into 1" cubes, soak it in an egg wash (beaten eggs and milk), then bake until crispy. Voila: Pain perdu. Literally, "lost bread" - a variation on French toast that goes really well with powdered sugar.

As for sausage...I'm not sure I wanna know exactly what goes in them, tho boudin -- where one of the main ingredients (aside from meat) is rice -- is damn tasty, and a good way to stretch ingredients.

French toast or some other name for using up leftover and stale bread goes all the way back to the middle ages. We love making fun stuff with leftovers - had bulgogi pork with rice tonight, so tomorrow we make rice pudding. Or maybe carolina rice cakes [leftover rice, flour, milk, egg, cinnamon, sugar. Make into a stiff dough and pat into patties, fry up and serve with brandied hard sauce or I suppose golden syrup or maple syrup]

[Racket_Man]

I used to work at a fast food joint which sold both hamburgers and cheeseburgers. The differences - 25 cents and a piece of cheese. I had one lady insist, vehemently, that she wanted a cheeseburger without cheese. I finally gave in and punched it in. When the grill guy got he yelled up `What the HELL!` I just shrug, `you can read, and make sure it comes in a cheeseburger wrapper`. I guess he told the manager because she came up and asked me, I told her to go argue with the lady, I was over it. The manager finally gave up trying to convince the lady and gave her the hamburger, in a cheeseburger wrapper, that she had overpaid for. Sometimes you just have to go by `the customer is always right`, if they want to overpay who are we to stand in their way?

Defineately NOT an urban legend. I had the exact same thing happen 35 years ago when I worked at a Burger King. Much explaining to no avail. cooked up a hamburger and wrapped it in a cheeseburger paper and the customer was happy.

[XCashier]

Ophbalance - So, Centralia's still burning? Man, there should be a way to harness the heat!

According to the Wikipedia article, "it could burn for over 250 more years." As for harnessing the heat, you also have to deal with lethal gasses and sudden ground collapses...don't think too many energy companies are going to want to work with that.

[TopEndDave]

SC: You got a bunch of incompetent hippies working down there? I've been ordering from you for 20 years.

And in those previous 20 years he has never mentioned NO CHEESE. Otherwise would know him as the NO CHEESE guy.

It would be nice to have all orders from now on go:
"Thanks to Mr SC at number we now have to verify all ingredients of your pizza. Do you want crust? Do you want sauce? Do you want cheese?" and so on etc. That way your customer could call Mr SC and tell him that pizzas come with cheese unless you say NO CHEESE.

I used to work at a fast food joint which sold both hamburgers and cheeseburgers.

I watched a friend of mine try to take an order from a customer at Hungry Jacks (Burger King) where the customer used the term cheeseburger instead of whopper randomly. My friend got that confused that the manager had to step in. The customer wanted a large whopper meal with a chocolate thick shake. Kept saying cheeseburger and got angry when my friend couldn't get the order right.

[NecessaryCatharsis]

I used to work at a fast food joint which sold both hamburgers and cheeseburgers. The differences - 25 cents and a piece of cheese. I had one lady insist, vehemently, that she wanted a cheeseburger without cheese. I finally gave in and punched it in. When the grill guy got he yelled up `What the HELL!` I just shrug, `you can read, and make sure it comes in a cheeseburger wrapper`. I guess he told the manager because she came up and asked me, I told her to go argue with the lady, I was over it. The manager finally gave up trying to convince the lady and gave her the hamburger, in a cheeseburger wrapper, that she had overpaid for. Sometimes you just have to go by `the customer is always right`, if they want to overpay who are we to stand in their way?