i want one of those SPECIAL ones...

[ominousoat]

I always get:

"I want to be on your program."

"Okay...what program?"

"Um..."

"..."

"The, uh, the one for your...um...bills."

"Okay, that narrows it down to about three programs."

"Um...um...I don't know what it's called, but my neighbor has it, his name is Bob Bobberson and he lives at 123 fake street..."

[TwoScoopsSciath]

Her: I want brown bread.

Me: What kind of brown bread ma'am? Homemade or commercial?

Her: To make sammiches!

Me: Er, ma'am, yes, but what kind? The one we bake here, or the one we get from outside?

Her: To put in the toaster!

Me: Yes, but what kind? We have several brands and...

Her (The kicker): The kind I buy every week!

Me (losing it): Ma'am, we have 50 kinds of brown bread in here. (Voice getting louder, said throught clenched teeth) YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE A LIL BIT MORE SPECIFIC!

Her: Oh! Pom.

Me: Over there.

At 9 AM

SC: *surly voice* What kind of soup do you have?

Me: None, just yet, sir. Our soup won't be ready until 11:30. We're still serving breakfast.

SC: *sarcastic laugh* What kind of SOUP do you have?

Me: *sigh* Chicken Noodle and Tomato. But not until lunch, which starts at 11:30.

SC: *Handing me a credit card we don't accept* I'll have the large Chicken Noodle.

Me: *Speaking slowly* WE. Don't Have. Soup. Until. EEEELEVENNNN. THIRRRRRTY.

SC: *walks off*

[BookstoreEscapee]

I'm sure other bookpeople have had this one....

"Yeah, I'm looking for this book, it was over there 2 months ago and it was big with a blue cover." They can not rememebr anything else about this book, just where it was 3 display changes (or more) ago, and the color. Yeah, that's gonna happen. (Actually, a few times we were able to find what it was they were looking for - but only a few.)

It used to frighten me a bit when I actually knew what they were talking about...

[Red Briggs]

Oh, boy.

Yea, you see that in technology stores too.

SC: Does this video card work in my computer?
Me: Does your computer have AGP, PCI, Or PCI-X?
SC: I dunno, you tell me.
Me: Take this sheet. Take the side off your computer. Look @ the mo-bo and circle the one that looks most like it and come back.

And yes, I have actually resorted to creating bright colorful sheets with the different interfaces on them to save my computer guys a bit of hassle and SC take it rather well. Probably because of the pretty colors.....

I'll just shut up now.

[felixxkatt]

I'm sure other bookpeople have had this one....

"Yeah, I'm looking for this book, it was over there 2 months ago and it was big with a blue cover." They can not rememebr anything else about this book, just where it was 3 display changes (or more) ago, and the color. Yeah, that's gonna happen. (Actually, a few times we were able to find what it was they were looking for - but only a few.)
......

lol... "i want that book... it was on Oprah maybe a month ago? by that woman?"
or "i want that book that i saw on the display in the main isle... last year"
or "i want that book...i can't remember what it's called or who wrote it, but i think it was fiction..."

oh yeah. all the time in the bookstore!

[felixxkatt]

To be fair, not everyone goes to Starbucks or other such places. I couldn't tell you that I wanted a latte, mocha, frap, etc. Well, maybe if I saw descriptions of them I could, but you know.

we have three giant menu boards. they say pretty much all the varieties we make. for a while, just to be extra clear, i hand-made these giant arrows and put them all pointing at the frappucino sign, and they all said "ICE COLD!" "FROZEN!" in six-inch-tall-letters. i did this because people marched up, ordered a "venti mocha frappucino" like they knew what they wanted, and were upset when it came to them as a frozen thing. nothing changed, even with the signs, except that we got even more frustrated with morons.

but here's the thing, you can ASK US what a drink is like. before you get all mad that i made exactly what you asked for but it's not exactly what you wanted cause i have not honed my telepathy, yet. i always assumed that "FRAPPUCINO" sounded like "FRAPPE" which is a pretty common word for a frozen blended up concoction.... plus the giant picture menues of frosty drinks might be a clue... you don't have to know everything, but people don't even bother to read teh signs. or maybe more of them are illiterate that i would have thought in the bookstore and all.

[Best Made Tacos]

I had similar conversations several times a day at the bank's call centre. After failing the verification questions for access to the accounts, the exchange would go thusly:

Me: As you have answered one or more of the verification questions incorrectly, I cannot allow you access to these accounts or release any information. Privacy Act, etc, etc. Now, you can go to a branch with your ID and get a PIN issued, or check your details and call us back..

SC: WHAT?! That's ridiculous! Tell me what answers I got wrong?

Me: Well, the home phone number you gave me doesn't match our records...

SC: But that is the only number I have! What do you have it down as?

Me: (ha, nice try) As I said, I can't tell you that, as I can't release any info on this account.

SC: *rant* *rave* Can't I tell you something else, like my license number or maiden name?? Just let me in to those accounts!!

Me: No. We have set questions, chosen specifically for account access. There's no point me asking for your license number, for instance, because we don't keep records about those. Essentially, I can't allow you access because, for legal purposes, I can't be 100% sure who I am speaking to right now.

SC: BUT I KNOW WHO I AM!

Oh, well, that makes everything ok then.

[RogueThinker]

Yep, psychic

Ha! This post could be about my mom, with one exception: She has me. Seriously, I don't even live in the same country, but she will phone me on her cell from stores and ask me things like:

Mom: Hi hon! I'm in (music store). You know that singer I like? His cd has a yellow cover? Who is that?

or

Mom: I'm holding a movie with that guy from that hospital show and some brunette woman...have I seen it? Would I enjoy it?

Of course, my mother and I are like the Gilmore girls, so I can normally help her out. I think she'd be too embarrassed to ask a clerk for help.

I also finish her sentences for her.

When will people learn that only 12% of customer service reps are psychic?

[Rapscallion]

http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/070410.html

Rapscallion

[Noelegy]

I'm looking for a plant, it has green leaves and red flowers.

Do you have that one?

I thought it was red leaves and blue flowers. This would be SO much easier if I weren't colorblind!!

[air914]

It is scary when you understand though - my mom and I are constantly doing that - "I need that thing, with the thing, that's white and it does this stuff" - she she'll know what I'm talking about - or vice versa.

[HawaiianShirts]

Yea, you see that in technology stores too.

SC: Does this video card work in my computer?
Me: Does your computer have AGP, PCI, Or PCI-X?
SC: I dunno, you tell me.
Me: Take this sheet. Take the side off your computer. Look @ the mo-bo and circle the one that looks most like it and come back.

And yes, I have actually resorted to creating bright colorful sheets with the different interfaces on them to save my computer guys a bit of hassle and SC take it rather well. Probably because of the pretty colors.....

That is blazing brilliant! I'm going to go make some of those sheets myself! Thanks for the idea, Red! Now if only we could do the same thing for RAM types...

[Kara]

http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/070410.html

Rapscallion

LOL! But by those search terms, how could it tell the difference between Christopher Walken and Steve Buscemi I wonder?

[Imogene]

"Do you have that movie, with that guy who was in that other movie, that came out last year?"

Try working in a store where the only commercial EVER shown on TV basically had the same set-up to it. Random customer comes up to store employee in some big, box-store, and says, "Hey, do you have that one movie? With the guy? With all the explosions, and he has to cut the wire, and *blah blah farkin' BLAH!*?"

Yeah, that was my life for 5 years.

However, in our sister store, I managed to walk in one time, tell the manager lady "I've had this song stuck in my head..." and she starts humming something. I look at her and say, "Yes, THAT song. What is that?"
"I dunno, I was just trying to get something else stuck in your head."
Damnit, and here I thought you were psychic.

[ArenaBoy]

Sadly, I've gotten this in parking lots

SC: I'm looking for the glass entrance.

Me: Which one? There's two of them.

SC: The glass entrance.

Me: There's two glass entrances sir/ma'am, which one?

SC: THE GLASS ENTRANCE!!!

Me: (Getting bored of this) Which one? The one with the TV company on it or the one with the giant XM ad above it?

SC: The XM ad.

Me: ARRRRRGGGGGH!!!!