I guess I can't really describe this woman as "sucky"... Looks to be mid to late 60's. Pleasant enough but holy god, did she take the cake for "computer ignorant".
In short: took her Apple to the Apple Store 3 times. Can't pull up web pages. Computer works fine at Apple Store. Logic concludes: internet problem.
I spend five minutes trying to determine where her modem is. She swears she doesn't have one. Then spend five minutes trying to determine if she has a monitor and a tower or an all-in-one unit. Still no idea there.
Finally come to the conclusion it sounds like her modem is on her desk next to the computer. (she's one of those people who describes the tower as a "box" and the monitor as "the computer" - *pops qualuude*)
I'm trying to be helpful - despite the fact that we could get an easy service call out of it, I want to see if she can fix it herself. It literally could take her 2 minutes to fix the problem if her internet connection got a "burp" in the line. It happens to us a couple times a month because our town's infrastructure is shit and we get little power outages for a couple of seconds every week or two. Anyway, the conversation goes like this:
Me: frazzled computer tech, need heavy drugs.
CL: Clueless Apple Lady
Me: So you unplug just the power cord from the modem and wait five minutes and then reboot the computer.
CL: What do you mean reboot? (oh good - someone needs Synonyms.com)
Me: You turn the computer off and back on again. Restart.
CL: How do I do that?
Me: Wha?
CL: I never turn it off.
Me: Okaaaay... but you said you took it to the Apple Store. How did you turn it off when you did that?
CL: I unplugged it.
Me: *screeching like a barn owl* WHAT!?
CL: That's how I got it over there.
Me: You should never turn a computer off that way unless there's no other choice! It could damage the hard drive or corrupt the OS!
CL: How do I turn it off?
(it's YOUR Apple! READ A BOOK! ASK AN APPLE TECH! DUDE, REALLY!?)
*serenity now... serenity now... think of lakes, trees, three toed sloths, wombats, parsnips...*
Me: You click on one of the options at the top of the screen. It's either the Apple logo or File, I think, then select "Turn off computer".
(okay - granted, I don't know off the top of my head because I hate Apples but I could find it in 5 seconds if I had one right in front of me. I know enough to be dangerous, but have an Apple tech that works for me for anything major)
Me: So unplug just the power to the modem, wait five minutes, plug it back in. Turn the computer off and then back on and see if you can get online.
I repeat these steps about 5 times. I still don't think she got it.
Said she'd try to do it and if it worked she'd call. Otherwise we'll head over Tuesday morning.
Now, it could be the modem went bad or there's a bad connection or she doesn't have the modem plugged in properly, but 9 times out of ten any internet connection problem can be fixed this way.
In short: took her Apple to the Apple Store 3 times. Can't pull up web pages. Computer works fine at Apple Store. Logic concludes: internet problem.
I spend five minutes trying to determine where her modem is. She swears she doesn't have one. Then spend five minutes trying to determine if she has a monitor and a tower or an all-in-one unit. Still no idea there.
Finally come to the conclusion it sounds like her modem is on her desk next to the computer. (she's one of those people who describes the tower as a "box" and the monitor as "the computer" - *pops qualuude*)
I'm trying to be helpful - despite the fact that we could get an easy service call out of it, I want to see if she can fix it herself. It literally could take her 2 minutes to fix the problem if her internet connection got a "burp" in the line. It happens to us a couple times a month because our town's infrastructure is shit and we get little power outages for a couple of seconds every week or two. Anyway, the conversation goes like this:
Me: frazzled computer tech, need heavy drugs.
CL: Clueless Apple Lady
Me: So you unplug just the power cord from the modem and wait five minutes and then reboot the computer.
CL: What do you mean reboot? (oh good - someone needs Synonyms.com)
Me: You turn the computer off and back on again. Restart.
CL: How do I do that?
Me: Wha?
CL: I never turn it off.
Me: Okaaaay... but you said you took it to the Apple Store. How did you turn it off when you did that?
CL: I unplugged it.
Me: *screeching like a barn owl* WHAT!?
CL: That's how I got it over there.
Me: You should never turn a computer off that way unless there's no other choice! It could damage the hard drive or corrupt the OS!
CL: How do I turn it off?
(it's YOUR Apple! READ A BOOK! ASK AN APPLE TECH! DUDE, REALLY!?)
*serenity now... serenity now... think of lakes, trees, three toed sloths, wombats, parsnips...*
Me: You click on one of the options at the top of the screen. It's either the Apple logo or File, I think, then select "Turn off computer".
(okay - granted, I don't know off the top of my head because I hate Apples but I could find it in 5 seconds if I had one right in front of me. I know enough to be dangerous, but have an Apple tech that works for me for anything major)
Me: So unplug just the power to the modem, wait five minutes, plug it back in. Turn the computer off and then back on and see if you can get online.
I repeat these steps about 5 times. I still don't think she got it.
Said she'd try to do it and if it worked she'd call. Otherwise we'll head over Tuesday morning.
Now, it could be the modem went bad or there's a bad connection or she doesn't have the modem plugged in properly, but 9 times out of ten any internet connection problem can be fixed this way.
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