I'd like to return this....

[carryonnow]

One of my most favorite duties is processing returns....my MOST favorite part is that I need to be insulted while resolving the problem. Here are some of my favorites from this week....

SC: "I need to return this can opener."
CSM: "Ok, sure...no problem. Thank you for having the receipt."
SC: "don't you want to know why I am returning it?"
CSM: "No, not really...from the look of the twisted handled, it looks like it is defective."
SC: "NO...it sucks....just like your attitude."
CSM: "here is your $8.93 thank you and have a nice afternoon"
SC: "Oh...that's how you THINK this ends....the damn thing didn't work and all you are giving me is my money and a smile...I want to know WHY you sell junk! I want to talk to the person that thinks it is OK to put this crap on your shelves!"
CSM:"thank you for your opinion. May I help the net person in line please?"
SC: "oh...that's it I am calling your boss....it didn't work just like you don't work well with customers."


SC: "YA...I was overcharged for a 2 liter of Coke."
CSM: "Oh no, let me look at your receipt."
<receipt flipped in face and bag with soda plopped on the counter>
SC: "SEE!! I was charged $1.79 and that is WRONG!! The sign says 5 for $5."
CSM: "Yes, the sign does say 5 for $5 but it also says 'must buy 5.' That means you need to get four more to get the sale price."
SC: "NO...I only want one and since the sign says 5 for $5 I want it for $1."
CSM: "I understand your confusion. The sign and the advert are very clear, to get the sale price you MUST but 5."
SC: "YOU SUCK! THIS STORE SUCKS!! AND YOUR SIGN SUCKS!! THIS IS WHY I DONT SHOP HERE!!"
CSM: "Oh, OK..have a nice day--see you tomorrow."


SC: "I bought this out of the 50% bin but I don't think it took 50% off the item."
CSM: "that's odd, may I see your receipt please."
SC: "No, I don't have it with me."
CSM: "oh...well, when did you buy it?"
SC: "I don't know like 15 minutes ago."
CSM: "Super let me go look up your transaction and I can help solve this for you."
SC: "What you aren't going to believe that I didn't get this at 50% off."
CSM: "I need to make sure you were charged correctly and if not, I need to make the situation right. Either way, I need to have the receipt. I will be right back."
<about 2 minutes later I return with a copy of the receipt from the journal>
CSM: "it looks like you were charge correctly for this item. See, the regular price is $4.99 and you were changed $2.49 the next line says 'you saved $2.50' that is 50% off the original price."
SC: "NO...50% of $4.99 is NOT $2.49."
CSM: "Ma'am I am not sure I follow you. The price is almost $5 and you SAVED $2.50 which is half of $5....how is this wrong?"
SC: "Oh...I guess you didn't take math in school." (storms off)

Maybe one day I will get my act together and be able to read minds...but until then I will just be wrong no matter which way I try to help the customer.

[Evannah]

Wow, you got some real gems there. The first one sounds like they were itching for a fight and didn't like the fact you were nice.

[raudf]

I refuse to understand how insulting the person trying to help SC makes the service experience any better for either the SC or the person dealing with the SC. The only reason I can think of is that the SC is such a tiny, pathetic, person in their own mind that they can only feel better about themselves by tearing down others. All it does in drag out the whole ordeal and make the person helping less likely to be truly helpful.

Look, all I'm doing is setting up a tag and work order so our tech can look at the item you brought in, Mr SC. I realize that I'm asking a lot of questions, but that's to insure you get what you want. Insulting me is only going to insure that your item gets "forgotten," or pushed back for the next week, especially if the tech that'd be working on it hears you. And he can. Frankly, I don't give the south end of a north bound rat about you or your "opinions." Oh, hey, seems like I do know what that "mighty big word," means and am now insulting you in a similar fashion.. only you don't seem to understand half of what I'm saying! (I only got away with it because my coworker was giggling in the background and felt the guy deserved it.)

Seriously, that behavior only gets the least help a person can manage and still keep their job. Why can't the SCs GET THIS?!

[Bright_Star]

A LOT of customers bitch about stuff when there's really nothing to bitch about. Somehow that makes them feel "superior".

[carryonnow]

Wow, you got some real gems there. The first one sounds like they were itching for a fight and didn't like the fact you were nice.

I just remind myself that I don't look good in orange and I have made it 29 years into adulthood with out a felony charge...no need to break that record for a nit wit.

[EvilEmpryss]

I used to think I was obligated to provide a reason for any returns I was making. After hanging out around here for a while I realized that the CS mostly don't care.

Now I just stick to "I'd like to return this, please," and then apologize if I don't have my receipt. Sometimes I'll say something like "nothing's wrong with it, I just don't want it/it's the wrong color/whatever" so that it can be put back on the shelves if the store does that, but otherwise I'll just wait patiently to see if I'm asked for a reason. The idea that people would be that rude about returns (especially for items costing less than $20) is just... ugh.

I bet the first harpy was expecting to have a new can opener given to her AND get her money back.

[XCashier]

SC: "NO...it sucks....just like your attitude."
...SC: "oh...that's it I am calling your boss....it didn't work just like you don't work well with customers."

was this jerk expecting? You to genuflect to him and commit seppuku on the spot for having the audacity to have defective merchandise?! What an asshole.

SC: "NO...50% of $4.99 is NOT $2.49."
CSM: "Ma'am I am not sure I follow you. The price is almost $5 and you SAVED $2.50 which is half of $5....how is this wrong?"
SC: "Oh...I guess you didn't take math in school." (storms off)

Um, what the heck did she think half of $4.99 was?
(SC: Half of $4.99 is 99 cents! DUH!)
Yeah, probably.

Frankly, I don't give the south end of a north bound rat about you or your "opinions."

I like the way you put that!

[Silent-Hunter]

I think she wanted it for $2.49 and a half cent, not $2.50. But since the ha'penny is no longer in circulation, that's kind of not possible. :P

[MoonCat]

Wow, there's a lot of "idiot" in the air lately...

I'll be the first to tell you that I'm not good with math, but even I can figure half of $4.99! In fact generally with prices like that I just round 'em off in my head. I paid $2.49? Well, the price is almost $5.00, and half of $5 is $2.50, so it's all good.

[Shalom]

Not to mention, $2.50 is more than half of $4.99, so what's she gritching about? I can see if the half cent went the other way (i.e. he got charged $2.50, you save $2.49, which is really what I would have expected), that a SC would complain about that half cent. But for the rounding error to be in your favor, and you're still complaining...?

Some people aren't happy unless they're miserable. (tip of the hat to James "Herriot" Wight)

[An Haddock]

Why is it I never see exchanges like this when I go out? I'd love to tear into an idiot customer in front of me in line.

[PastryGal]

Ugh I work the CS desk at work and had a guy wanting to return a couple of made to order mirrors. I told him there's a 20% restocking fee on them, which was all signed and initialed for agreement at the time of order. He asked if it was 20% total or 20% on each item. I told him 20% on each to which he then said, but that's 40% then! I had to explain to him that that is not how percentages work. If i could have taken it as a whole on the computer I would but our program doesn't allow it and I have to do it to each item, but it still works out the same.

[retro]

We've all returned stuff to shops in the past but I always try to think of the perfect outcome. What do I want? My money back? Tale 1, objective complete. I got my money back! Thank you very much!

Oh wait, I'm not a sucky customer.

[Ophbalance]

I tend to not like interacting with people to begin with, so unless asked "why are you returning this", my typical interaction is:

Me: Hi, I'd like to return this (puts item and receipt on the counter).
Them: Ok. Do you have the card you used to buy it?
Me: Yep (hands over the card, or swipe if so instructed).
Them: The amount has been put back on your card. Can we help you with anything else today?
Me: Nope. (walks away).

I think Wal*Mart is the only place that tends to ask what's wrong, but even then, I've noticed that they start to get that glazed over look if you say anything past the phrase "It's broke".

[XCashier]

I think Wal*Mart is the only place that tends to ask what's wrong, but even then, I've noticed that they start to get that glazed over look if you say anything past the phrase "It's broke".

No, I ask if something was wrong when something's returned to the fabric store, so I know if it can be restocked or if I have to damage it out. (Most of the time, the customer just didn't need it.)