I'm going to open up a quick thread here and list a few of my own drive-thru experiances. Backround is that I work at Taco Bell. I have worked there a number of years. I no longer tolerate stupidity from customers or management. That's because I've had to deal with way too much of it. If it seems like I get snippy real quick, that's why (I'm very nice to the average customer). Some of these stories are repeat offenders, as in about a dozen people will do something on this list each night I work.
Need a map and compass?
Me: Hello how are you today?
SC: I'd like a happy meal.
Me: (moment of silence, expecting him to catch his error) ...Hello and welcome to TACO BELL, how may I help you?
SC: (apparently thinking that I simply did not hear him) Uh...I'd like a happy meal
Me: Hello and welcome to TACO BELL. How may I help you?
SC: I'd like a happy meal! Is there something wrong with this speaker system...?
Me: No there's something wrong with you. McDonald's is across the street.
SC: What does that have to do with it?
Me: I'm not positive (and honestly I'm not, I don't get out often and I certainly never eat at Mc'D), but I think McDonald's is the one that serves whatever happy meals are
SC: Well don't you have kids meals?
Me: Yes we do. But they don't make children happy
SC busts up laughing, apparently the funniest thing he ever heard. I was serious though.
What kind of business do you think we run here??
Taco Bell carries Pepsi products. There's about a dozen very big blue signs on our drive-thru menu showing this. Our drinks are all indivdually displayed on the menu. No I do not tolerate any stupidity here. So I get real sarcastic and real snippy real quick.
SC: Can I get coke please?
Me: That's a controlled substance ma'am.
SC: What? I want the damn DRINK coke, not drugs!
Me: Then McDonald's is across the street ma'am. WE SELL PEPSI
SC: Oh....then I'll just take Pepsi
However there was a new one from just last night.
SC: I'd like coke.
Me: That's a controlled substance sir.
SC: Yep
Me: ...did you want a drink today?
SC: I said I want coke
Me: That's an illegal narcotic sir
SC: Yep
Me: ...
Other drink fun. I have a lot more of this kind of customer than any other
SC: I'd like root beer please
Me: We don't carry root beer
SC: Okay I'll take Mr. Pibb
Me: Strike two
SC: Orange slice then?
Me: That's it, I'm cancelling your order. If you won't read the big blue sign in front of you and act intelligent I'm not taking your order.
SC: No! Wait! I'LL TAKE DR. PEPPER!
*note, we have a very prominant sign out there that says we are a TB that carries cherry pepsi. We have been for 5 years
Me: STRIKE FOUR!!
SC: Oh forget it *drives off*
SC: I'd like Dr. Pepper please
Me: We don't carry that
SC: Oh? Well where's your drinks on your menu?
(so nice of you to get curious AFTER you order wrong, asshole)
Me: Dead center of the menu board sir. It sits right over the speakerphone in fact, so you'd be staring straight at it when you're talking to me
SC: Oh there it is!
SC: I'd like Dr Pepper please
(damn that is a popular beverage)
Me: We don't carry Dr Pepper
SC: Well what DO you have?
Me: It's all on the menu sir.
SC: Well can you just tell me?
Me: The menu board is there so I don't have to recite every product, every price, and every drink we have to every customer.
SC: Oh fine!
SC: I'd like Powerade
Me: We don't have that.
SC: Oh? What types of drinks do you have?
Me: We carry Pepsi products
SC: ...okay then I'll take vanilla coke
Me: *headbanging*...
SC: I'll take coke
Me: We don't carry coke
SC: FINE I'll take Pepsi. You knew what I really meant
Me: So did you, but you insisted on asking for the wrong beverage anyway
SC: Well you should have just assumed
Me: My job description doesn't include being a bullsh!t translator sir.
Of course sometimes we run out of a specific beverage
SC: I'd like Mountain Dew please
Me: Oh I'm sorry we're out of that at the moment
SC: *all huffy and annoyed* Well what DO you guys have?
Me: *now I'm annoyed* Everything ELSE listed on our menu.
Believe it or not, I don't just say it to hear myself speak
I'll say hello to a customer when they drive up. I know they hear me because 300 other customers a day hear me on that drive-thru. I also know they hear me because sometimes I stand outside just next to the back door so I can hear my own voice coming out from the speaker on the drive-thru menu board.
Basically, all these stories start off with me saying the standard greeting "Hello how are you today?", then followed by several minutes of silence while I wait for a customer to order. I say that five seconds after they pull up so they have time to roll down their window.
SC: ....hello?
Me: Hello.
SC: Can I order?
Me: Never said you couldn't, ma'am
SC: Well you never said I could either
Me: I never said you could breathe either but you seemed to accomplish that much on your own
SC: ....hello?
Me: Hello.
SC: Can I order?
Me: You could have ordered this entire time, sir.
SC: Why didn't you tell me I could order?
Me: Do I need to pre-chew your food for you too, or can you handle that on your own?
*I got written up for that last one, but damn it was worth it
SC: Hello?
Me: Yeah, hello again
SC: Can I order?
Me: God gave you free will didn't he?
SC: Hey are you ready to take my order yet?
Me: Yeah I've been ready to take your order. We're all waiting on you
SC: Why didn't you tell me I could order?
Me: You're sitting in front of the drive-thru ordering board. WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO DO THERE?
Back in the day, we used to have an automated greeting system. You could record a message and it would automatically play when someone drove up. We had problems with people the sort of above stuff after the greeting, so I recorded my own message that ended with "...and you can order whenever you are ready".
SC: ...can I order?
Me: What part of "you can order whenever you are ready" confused you?
SC: Well S*O*R*R*Y but you sounded like a recording!
Me: That WAS a recording.
SC: See!
Me: Yet you failed to understand that you could order.
SC: But what if you couldn't take my order right away?
Me: Then I wouldn't have the system turned on! I'd personally tell you to hold on. In fact, I'm done teaching you how to order. I've got a line of three cars at my window and I'm going to get them paid out and on their way. YOU can sit and think for a few minutes.
We eventually were told to stop using the auto-greet literally because people were too stupid to understand that they could order. Even when we outright told them in the recording.
This is just the beginning. More to come later.
Need a map and compass?
Me: Hello how are you today?
SC: I'd like a happy meal.
Me: (moment of silence, expecting him to catch his error) ...Hello and welcome to TACO BELL, how may I help you?
SC: (apparently thinking that I simply did not hear him) Uh...I'd like a happy meal
Me: Hello and welcome to TACO BELL. How may I help you?
SC: I'd like a happy meal! Is there something wrong with this speaker system...?
Me: No there's something wrong with you. McDonald's is across the street.
SC: What does that have to do with it?
Me: I'm not positive (and honestly I'm not, I don't get out often and I certainly never eat at Mc'D), but I think McDonald's is the one that serves whatever happy meals are
SC: Well don't you have kids meals?
Me: Yes we do. But they don't make children happy
SC busts up laughing, apparently the funniest thing he ever heard. I was serious though.
What kind of business do you think we run here??
Taco Bell carries Pepsi products. There's about a dozen very big blue signs on our drive-thru menu showing this. Our drinks are all indivdually displayed on the menu. No I do not tolerate any stupidity here. So I get real sarcastic and real snippy real quick.
SC: Can I get coke please?
Me: That's a controlled substance ma'am.
SC: What? I want the damn DRINK coke, not drugs!
Me: Then McDonald's is across the street ma'am. WE SELL PEPSI
SC: Oh....then I'll just take Pepsi
However there was a new one from just last night.
SC: I'd like coke.
Me: That's a controlled substance sir.
SC: Yep
Me: ...did you want a drink today?
SC: I said I want coke
Me: That's an illegal narcotic sir
SC: Yep
Me: ...
Other drink fun. I have a lot more of this kind of customer than any other
SC: I'd like root beer please
Me: We don't carry root beer
SC: Okay I'll take Mr. Pibb
Me: Strike two
SC: Orange slice then?
Me: That's it, I'm cancelling your order. If you won't read the big blue sign in front of you and act intelligent I'm not taking your order.
SC: No! Wait! I'LL TAKE DR. PEPPER!
*note, we have a very prominant sign out there that says we are a TB that carries cherry pepsi. We have been for 5 years
Me: STRIKE FOUR!!
SC: Oh forget it *drives off*
SC: I'd like Dr. Pepper please
Me: We don't carry that
SC: Oh? Well where's your drinks on your menu?
(so nice of you to get curious AFTER you order wrong, asshole)
Me: Dead center of the menu board sir. It sits right over the speakerphone in fact, so you'd be staring straight at it when you're talking to me
SC: Oh there it is!
SC: I'd like Dr Pepper please
(damn that is a popular beverage)
Me: We don't carry Dr Pepper
SC: Well what DO you have?
Me: It's all on the menu sir.
SC: Well can you just tell me?
Me: The menu board is there so I don't have to recite every product, every price, and every drink we have to every customer.
SC: Oh fine!
SC: I'd like Powerade
Me: We don't have that.
SC: Oh? What types of drinks do you have?
Me: We carry Pepsi products
SC: ...okay then I'll take vanilla coke
Me: *headbanging*...
SC: I'll take coke
Me: We don't carry coke
SC: FINE I'll take Pepsi. You knew what I really meant
Me: So did you, but you insisted on asking for the wrong beverage anyway
SC: Well you should have just assumed
Me: My job description doesn't include being a bullsh!t translator sir.
Of course sometimes we run out of a specific beverage
SC: I'd like Mountain Dew please
Me: Oh I'm sorry we're out of that at the moment
SC: *all huffy and annoyed* Well what DO you guys have?
Me: *now I'm annoyed* Everything ELSE listed on our menu.
Believe it or not, I don't just say it to hear myself speak
I'll say hello to a customer when they drive up. I know they hear me because 300 other customers a day hear me on that drive-thru. I also know they hear me because sometimes I stand outside just next to the back door so I can hear my own voice coming out from the speaker on the drive-thru menu board.
Basically, all these stories start off with me saying the standard greeting "Hello how are you today?", then followed by several minutes of silence while I wait for a customer to order. I say that five seconds after they pull up so they have time to roll down their window.
SC: ....hello?
Me: Hello.
SC: Can I order?
Me: Never said you couldn't, ma'am
SC: Well you never said I could either
Me: I never said you could breathe either but you seemed to accomplish that much on your own
SC: ....hello?
Me: Hello.
SC: Can I order?
Me: You could have ordered this entire time, sir.
SC: Why didn't you tell me I could order?
Me: Do I need to pre-chew your food for you too, or can you handle that on your own?
*I got written up for that last one, but damn it was worth it
SC: Hello?
Me: Yeah, hello again
SC: Can I order?
Me: God gave you free will didn't he?
SC: Hey are you ready to take my order yet?
Me: Yeah I've been ready to take your order. We're all waiting on you
SC: Why didn't you tell me I could order?
Me: You're sitting in front of the drive-thru ordering board. WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO DO THERE?
Back in the day, we used to have an automated greeting system. You could record a message and it would automatically play when someone drove up. We had problems with people the sort of above stuff after the greeting, so I recorded my own message that ended with "...and you can order whenever you are ready".
SC: ...can I order?
Me: What part of "you can order whenever you are ready" confused you?
SC: Well S*O*R*R*Y but you sounded like a recording!
Me: That WAS a recording.
SC: See!
Me: Yet you failed to understand that you could order.
SC: But what if you couldn't take my order right away?
Me: Then I wouldn't have the system turned on! I'd personally tell you to hold on. In fact, I'm done teaching you how to order. I've got a line of three cars at my window and I'm going to get them paid out and on their way. YOU can sit and think for a few minutes.
We eventually were told to stop using the auto-greet literally because people were too stupid to understand that they could order. Even when we outright told them in the recording.
This is just the beginning. More to come later.
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