Busses

[Jay 2K Winger]

I do. Now see what you made me do *Picks up a crossbow and aims it at you*

show him no quarter.

I'd buy that for a dollar!

[gremcint]

I do. Now see what you made me do *Picks up a crossbow and aims it at you*

show him no quarter.

[AdvancedFlea]

For a second, I thought the thread title was going to refer to a different kind of "buss".

Naively, I was about to ask "what kind of bus did you think I was referring to?" ... It took me a second to see that one.

That's Doctor No, thank you.

SOMEONE GOT IT!!! I was looking around trying to find inspiration for what to call him that wasn't rude. I saw my collection of James Bond DVDs and the rest just flowed like a stream

It looks like he had a CHANGE of heart.

SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?!!!!! lol

I do. Now see what you made me do *Picks up a crossbow and aims it at you*

"Danger"?

Danger Bus?

With those things; Yes. By the time the company was forced to close, many of the vehicles wouldn't even pass an MOT. I'm not sure which organization it was effectively closed the company down but someone did simply by inspecting the buses.

The owners son now runs a bus company with significantly safer vehicles. Here's the thing, even though some of them are Y-plates (meaning they were first registered in 2001. I think their newest is in the new registration system and are something like 02-plates meaning they were registered in the 1st half of 2002) so they are getting on in years and mileage, the vehicles still look relatively new, they are clean, they don't sound like the engine is about to fall apart and they don't cough a cloud of black shit out of the exhaust pipe when the driver starts the engine.

And not a pence to spare. tsk tsk tsk

Though, I do not understand why Mr. No would not want want to give you guys all his change. It does seem quicker.

I'm waiting for someone to say to me "penny for your thoughts?" ... I will slap the first person who says that to me XD

No, nor us! That's the thing. We all know that counting change is a bitch, so why would you want to do it when you have someone who is offering to do it for you? Like I said, the arrangement between us and the other Jalopy travel drivers was mutually beneficial. When they got to the depot they ended up spending all of 2 minutes cashing up because they just handed over bank notes and as for supermart; we virtually never had to order change which the bank would have charged us for.

[Gilhelmi]

And not a pence to spare. tsk tsk tsk

Though, I do not understand why Mr. No would not want want to give you guys all his change. It does seem quicker.

[gerund]

That was penny-ante.

I thought you were trying to nickel and dime him.

[Argabarga]

...they shared a name spelled very similar to “Banger”...

"Danger"?

Danger Bus?

[dalesys]

SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?!!!!! lol

That was penny-ante.

[Jay 2K Winger]

SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?!!!!! lol

Come on, Sheldonrs, no one here MAKES you do these things.

[Sheldonrs]

I guess I'll be the one to say it.

It looks like he had a CHANGE of heart.

SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?!!!!! lol

[Jay 2K Winger]

The worst one for forgetting a receipt was Mr. No.

That's Doctor No, thank you. He didn't get a Doctorate in Phallusophy from the Douchebag Institute to be called "Mister," thank you.

[Monterey Jack]

For a second, I thought the thread title was going to refer to a different kind of "buss".

[AdvancedFlea]

This is an old one. this goes back to my days working at BP-Supermart

In the city I live in, there are a number of bus companies ranging from those who have fairly nice, modern busses to other bus operators whose vehicles are frankly dangerous. One exploded in flames as it left their maintenance depot. No passengers were onboard and the driver dove out the window to safety moments before the fire tore through the cabin. This vehicle belonged to a company who used to drive around old bangers for busses. Interestingly enough they shared a name spelled very similar to “Banger”...but for this we shall call them Jalopy Travel.

Here’s a picture of one of the decrepit old wrecks they used to drive around with just so you can see what the drivers and passengers were forced to live with. http://d.pr/i/1gCOC quite a stark contrast to other operators driving around in much newer vehicles. (Just to give you some kind of indication as to how old that vehicle is. That photo was taken in 06 according to the website I nicked it off of. That Busses number plate starts with the letter D so that bus is circa 1987 at it’s newest)

Anyway, Busses aside, most of the drivers for Jalopy travel were nice guys. I know this because their depot wasn’t very far from supermart and they didn’t have their own diesel supply (which with that company was probably a good thing) so at the end of the day, the drivers would bring their busses into supermart and would just pay with the fares they had taken that day. This worked well for us because the drivers never wanted to count the change they had in the box as that was time-consuming for them so when we were short on change, we would count it and exchange it for paper-money for them. Most of them were pretty damn happy with this arrangement. Except one.

There’s always one, isn’t there?

One of the drivers, whenever he came in, if we were desperate for change, he wouldn’t give us any. You got what he gave you for payment, that was it. I actually tried dressing it up once “Would you like me to count the change you have in your pot for you and reduce it to manageable paper-money? it’ll save you some time at the depot” - “No” ...well fuck you then.

Anyway, if they didn’t get a receipt for the £150 of fuel they put in the busses (small vehicles as they may be; they had huge diesel tanks in them) then the money came out of their wages. Most of the time our staff remembered to press “Cash (Receipt)” but sometimes we would forget and new guys just wouldn’t know. Of the times we would forget, the drivers would usually remember unless they were in a rush. The worst one for forgetting a receipt was Mr. No.

It wasn’t a huge problem if they forgot the receipt. We could trawl back through a day’s transactions and with the amount they spent on fuel; it stood out but doing so was a hassle.

So one day, I have ZERO change because the person on the shift before me was a twat. None of the shops that surrounded the place had change because they kept coming to see if we had any, and I had grabbed all the change from the local pub who had been kind enough to open their juke box and let me raid that for what small amount of coins were in there. I was waiting for Jalopy Travel to come and get their fuel just to alleviate my situation. Not a single one of them who came in that day had taken many passengers, so barely had enough coins on them to pay for the fuel (yes, £150 in coins is a lot but we all know how quickly you can use that up) except for Mr. No. he came in practically having to drag his change bag with him. Not only that but he needed something from me.

“I need your help. I need to get my receipt from yesterday. I forgot to ask the new girl for it” he says.

“Okay. Can you spare me some change please?”

“No way! You know I don’t do that” he replies

At this point, I am just sick of this shit. “So let me get this straight. You expect me to help you with something that is entirely your fault and your problem, but you won’t help me?” I say it’s entirely his fault because although the staff who have been there any length of time will KNOW a Jalopy travel driver will want a receipt, it’s still down to the bus driver to ask for one. After all, it’s their wages it comes out of if they don’t get one.

“I help you! I pay in change!” He protests

“Yeah, that’s not what I mean and you know it. I need more than the pound coins you are going to give me. I need just about every single coin there is. I know you have plenty.”

“How do I know you’re not giving me fake notes?”

“Borrow my anti-counterfeiting pen and check them if you like.” I reply.

“That’s gonna take TIME though” he grumbles.

“I’m gonna make this really simple. If you don’t help me; I am not going to help you.”

With that he dumps his change bag on the counter and just up-ends it. Oh my god he had EVERYTHING. He starts counting out the coins while I look for his receipt, which I found in a matter of minutes. He pays for his fuel for today with 2 fists full of coins, then ends up changing another £190 with me. By the time I had finished, the till was too heavy to stay under the counter by itself and I had to counterbalance it with a box of paper.

Oddly enough, whenever I asked him for change again he never gave me any grief.

Moral of the story people; if you want someone to help you, be prepared to help them. Particularly if it’s me