The toilets are cleaned too often...

[Monterey Jack]

Ugh, I can't imagine eating in a public restroom.

[Marmalady]

Ugh, I can't imagine eating in a public restroom.

As far as I can tell, our customers will use our bathrooms for pretty much anything they fancy doing. Eating, reading newspapers, changing their clothes, playing games on their phones, dyeing their hair - and that's before we get to the more unsavoury practices, which I'll leave to your imaginations.

As Fletcher said in the 'Porridge' film, when anyone goes in for an ordinary sh**, it's like a breath of fresh air.