Had 2 phone orders back to back
AND Where are you NOW????? and I want double whatever you are smoking/ingesting
Me: why do I have any hair left????
IDKWIA: mind altered dude who is somewhere in the Twilight Zone
Phone rings and I answer
Me: <standard phone greeting>
IDKWIA: Delivery
Me: OK may I get your phone number please??
IDKWIA: 123-456-7890
Me: OK your address is 123 X St. in the back???
IDKWIA: no I am somewhere else.
Me: OK what is the address where you are now
Wait for it>>>>>>
IDKWIA: 123 X St. in the back
ME: SO you are at 123 X St. in the back
IDKWIA: YES
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP P
Does NOT compute
Fatal OS ERROR
BSOD
re-boot
re-boot failed
Replace brain
NOW come the fun part taking the order.
IDKWIA: Yeah I want WANGS
Me: they come in x,y,z size
IDKWIA:I want z size but I want to split it up into 3 different sauces
Me: I am sorry but we can not split that size order up. It has to be all one sauce. What we can do is give you 3 x size orders with different sauces (since y and z counts are multiples of x)
IDKWIA: OK I will have 1 order of x size SPICY.
Me; OK we have a variety of sauces for those wings. Here are the spicy flavors Spicy A and Spicy B
IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
Ne: I understand that SIr. BUT we have Spicy A and Spicy B sauces
IDKWIA: HOT and spicy
<wash rinse and repeat for 2 minutes>
Me; OK <at this point I just select one of the Spicy Sauces without telling him.
Me: and what flavor sauce would you like on the Y sized order???
wait for it >>>>>>>>>>
IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
Me: well we have theses flavors <lists flavors AGAIN for the 10th time>
IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
Me: < just wanting to say "I am sorry you are TOOO FUCKING STONED TO ORDER FOOD and hangup> <Lists sauces AGAIN>
IDKWIA:HOT BUFFALO.
Me: <gives total and hangs up ASAP>
Are you SURE you understand spoken American English????
At the same time I am ripping my hair out on the above order the GM is taking this gem from someone else who is quite brain dead.
GM <standard phone scrip greeting>
IDKWIA: Delivery
GM: OK can I get your phone number?
IDKWIA: Bob
GM:OK you name is Bob. May I get your phone number please??
IDKWIA: BOB
GM: Yes I have your name. May I please get you Phone number PLEASE????
IDKWIA: <finally gives phone number>
I REALLY want a phone electrocution device.........
AND Where are you NOW????? and I want double whatever you are smoking/ingesting
Me: why do I have any hair left????
IDKWIA: mind altered dude who is somewhere in the Twilight Zone
Phone rings and I answer
Me: <standard phone greeting>
IDKWIA: Delivery
Me: OK may I get your phone number please??
IDKWIA: 123-456-7890
Me: OK your address is 123 X St. in the back???
IDKWIA: no I am somewhere else.
Me: OK what is the address where you are now
Wait for it>>>>>>
IDKWIA: 123 X St. in the back
ME: SO you are at 123 X St. in the back
IDKWIA: YES
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP P
Does NOT compute
Fatal OS ERROR
BSOD
re-boot
re-boot failed
Replace brain
NOW come the fun part taking the order.
IDKWIA: Yeah I want WANGS
Me: they come in x,y,z size
IDKWIA:I want z size but I want to split it up into 3 different sauces
Me: I am sorry but we can not split that size order up. It has to be all one sauce. What we can do is give you 3 x size orders with different sauces (since y and z counts are multiples of x)
IDKWIA: OK I will have 1 order of x size SPICY.
Me; OK we have a variety of sauces for those wings. Here are the spicy flavors Spicy A and Spicy B
IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
Ne: I understand that SIr. BUT we have Spicy A and Spicy B sauces
IDKWIA: HOT and spicy
<wash rinse and repeat for 2 minutes>
Me; OK <at this point I just select one of the Spicy Sauces without telling him.
Me: and what flavor sauce would you like on the Y sized order???
wait for it >>>>>>>>>>
IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
Me: well we have theses flavors <lists flavors AGAIN for the 10th time>
IDKWIA: HOT AND SPICY
Me: < just wanting to say "I am sorry you are TOOO FUCKING STONED TO ORDER FOOD and hangup> <Lists sauces AGAIN>
IDKWIA:HOT BUFFALO.
Me: <gives total and hangs up ASAP>
Are you SURE you understand spoken American English????
At the same time I am ripping my hair out on the above order the GM is taking this gem from someone else who is quite brain dead.
GM <standard phone scrip greeting>
IDKWIA: Delivery
GM: OK can I get your phone number?
IDKWIA: Bob
GM:OK you name is Bob. May I get your phone number please??
IDKWIA: BOB
GM: Yes I have your name. May I please get you Phone number PLEASE????
IDKWIA: <finally gives phone number>
I REALLY want a phone electrocution device.........
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