Like Sandpaper on my Nerve Endings

[Boomslang]

Dear Exasperated Mom:

Look, I get it. Kids can test the absolute limits of your patience. But is it really necessary to jog walk through the entire store screaming: "Michael? Michael! MICHAEL! Michaaaaaeeel! Michael! MICHAEL! MICHAEL!!!MIIIIIICHAAAAAEEELL!!!" for 7 minutes and 42 seconds straight? Because your dental drill shrieks, whilst helpfully loosening the excess wax that had built up around my tympanic membranes, found their way into my spinal cord and reverberated along my nerve endings for hours afterward, eventually rerouting in my cerebral cortex and short circuiting the neural fibers which control the brains synapses connected to the uterus and thereby destroying all desire to ever reproduce.

I hope you're happy.

[XCashier]

"Why don't you bellow for him again? He might not have heard you the first ninety-seven times?!" Gah, I hate idiots who do that!

[Midnight]

I especially love it when parents drop their kids off at my store to browse and fuck around with our kiosks, they have zero intention of purchasing anything, and expect us to more or less babysit them while you go grocery shopping next door.

[MoonCat]

I especially love it when parents drop their kids off at my store to browse and fuck around with our kiosks, they have zero intention of purchasing anything, and expect us to more or less babysit them while you go grocery shopping next door.

Do you call the police for child abandonment? Because that's what these idiots deserve.

As for Michael's mom....She must be related to the idiot next door to me.

[Opalin]

I especially love it when parents drop their kids off at my store to browse and fuck around with our kiosks, they have zero intention of purchasing anything, and expect us to more or less babysit them while you go grocery shopping next door.

Ditto, for us it's almost every bit as bad, since we're literally built into an apt complex. (Our outdoor mall inexplicably has apt buildings on top of 40% of the shops, and they are expeeensive for our area)

[An Haddock]

Someone needs to school her on how many abductions and attempted abductions take place in stores... sometimes a parent need only be 20 feet from their progeny and some creep can try to make off with them, like that idiot in Ohio (I think) about a year ago who grabbed a little girl in a Walmart. Fortunately she kicked and screamed, scaring the guy off, and he was picked up by the cops later.

Not all of those abduction stories turn out so well.

[taxguykarl]

Someone needs to school her on how many abductions and attempted abductions take place in stores

That won't have the impact you want, H. The store will be the first entity these egg & sperm donors try to sue

[April]

When we lived in an apartment, there was a woman and kid who lived across from us. Every single day, she would send this little girl out to play. And then she would stand on her balcony and scream "HALEY" from 15 minutes at top volume. The husband and I started screaming out the window "HALEY! go home NOW" when she would start. we had to amuse ourselves somehow

[DGoddessChardonnay]

When we lived in an apartment, there was a woman and kid who lived across from us. Every single day, she would send this little girl out to play. And then she would stand on her balcony and scream "HALEY" from 15 minutes at top volume. The husband and I started screaming out the window "HALEY! go home NOW" when she would start. we had to amuse ourselves somehow

Reminds me of Mom and the cats when I was growing up. We had a female tabby cat whose name was Budweiser (don't ask why - we didn't name her) and my brother had the hardest time saying her name. So instead of it coming out "Budweiser" it was "Budbrassiere."

So imagine my mom standing out on the front porch early in the morning calling for Budbrassiere. We had a neighbor who would usually be heading out for work and would call back "Be there in a minute, Mom!"

[Ironclad Alibi]

Those who remember the Gord know how he handles parents who leave their kids in his store.

Note: To those who have not visited with the Gord before, prepare to spend an evening reading his web site.

[taxguykarl]

Those who remember the Gord know how he handles parents who leave their kids in his store.

Good one More retailers need to do this...one of these days the kids will turn up injured or missing IANAL, but even if there is no liability, there are pricey legal fees to defend

[WishfulSpirit]

At least with a child screaming has half a chance of working. I have a neighbor who does this with her DOG. Who thinks she's excited-barking and just keeps playing.

[gerund]

I have a neighbor who does this with her DOG.

I have a neighbour who tried to teach her dog to count. The dog's name is "Bandit" and it has the loudest bark I have ever heard on a dog. It barks at *EVERYTHING* and on the rare occasion she is home it goes like this. She is at the top of the back stairs, not anywhere near the dog. It just ignores her all through this because all it can hear is its name said in the nicest voice possible, so it thinks she is praising it for its guard duties.

(In the sweetest voice like she was talking to a small child.)

B: BARK BARK BARK
N: Bandit are you barking at that naughty cat?
B: BARK BARK BARK
N: Now Bandit, please stop barking.
B: BARK BARK BARK
N: One... Two... Three....
B: BARK BARK BARK
N: Bandit, leave that naughty cat alone.
B: BARK BARK BARK

Neighbour goes down the stairs and grabs Bandit and drags him upstairs still barking all the way.

Occasionally when I have had enough I go outside and scream in my outside voice "SIT DOWN YOU MONGREL" and it stops. Instantly.