Sucktomer Random Thoughts Thread

[WishfulSpirit]

"And I'll be good and drunk in another hour!"

Oh, yes. Had one customer who kept using my name at least twice in each sentence. [/U].

Some people just do that. It's some kind of weird vocal tic. Anyway, here's mine:

STOP WALKING THROUGH PAINT. Seriously. You had to move caution tape AND the chair it was attached to in order to do that. Did it NEVER occur to you that it was there for a REASON? You also ignored several "wet paint" signs. If you come in complaining about your shoes I am going to be polite to you in person but do nothing about it and then LMAO after you leave.

[Food Lady]

If you see that your stuff is falling on the floor and I have no place to put it, STOP PILING IT ON MY COUNTER. Give me 30 seconds to get some of it rung up. How unobservant can one be??

[Lace Neil Singer]

Dear customers, use your fucking eyes and look at the pump before you come in. Don't just turn up at my till with not a fucking clue and point vaguely to the right, saying, "Um, it's that one over there". I haven't got the power of x-ray vision and can't see thru the van on the front pump; plus, you drove up here in the car so you ought to be able to recognise it from a distance. Also, listen when I read out the amount on the pump so that if you've given me the wrong pump number, it can be corrected before you pay for twice as much as you put in and leave.

[KellyHabersham]

To certain pre-teen aged girls - Please stop getting out the blocks and playing with them if you're not going to pick them up afterwards. All of you are old enough to know better, and (as far as I know) none of you are disabled, so there is is no excuse for leaving a mess.

[wolfie]

Saw one today at the grocery store. Package of butter sitting on a "dump" of "dry" merchandise parked in the aisle. Must have been the world's laziest SC, because I was able to pick it up and put it back in the butter section of the cooler WITHOUT TAKING A SINGLE STEP.

[Rana]

For the love of god please stop saying, 'Is that gin/vodka/other clear spirits' whenever I drink from my water bottle. I am just drinking water, it is hot, and I certainly don't appreciate the joke that I am some kind of alcoholic that needs to drink at work.

Though some days I do feel like I need a drink at work for having to deal with all the SC's

[Jay 2K Winger]

For the love of god please stop saying, 'Is that gin/vodka/other clear spirits' whenever I drink from my water bottle. I am just drinking water, it is hot, and I certainly don't appreciate the joke that I am some kind of alcoholic that needs to drink at work.

Though some days I do feel like I need a drink at work for having to deal with all the SC's

My bad! I may have encouraged this line of thought with my joking, in my retail hell days, on that theme. I'd waggle the bottle and affect a Russian accent and say, "What's funny is you think this is water."

[Ironclad Alibi]

For the love of god please stop saying, 'Is that gin/vodka/other clear spirits' whenever I drink from my water bottle. I am just drinking water, it is hot, and I certainly don't appreciate the joke that I am some kind of alcoholic that needs to drink at work.

They ask because if it is they want a swig of it.

[BrenDAnn]

No, I can't break your $100 at 6:30 in the morning, for a purchase totaling less than three dollars. I've only been open an hour, and this is not a fucking bank. Take your "big bucks" elsewhere.

For the love of all that's holy, parents, please, if you're gonna send your kids to the c-store, make sure they have at least some understanding of money. I don't mind helping them count here and there, but when they try buying four or five dollars worth of junk with a pocket full of less than two dollars in change? Hell no. Hell. No.

Bad grandpa! You're seriously going to buy and make your granddaughter eat that donut she just dropped on the floor? Really? Do you even KNOW what happens to these floors? Just...ew! No! Gross!

[WishfulSpirit]

Bad grandpa! You're seriously going to buy and make your granddaughter eat that donut she just dropped on the floor? Really? Do you even KNOW what happens to these floors? Just...ew! No! Gross!

Buy, maybe (depending on age). Eat? No way.

[MoonCat]

Dear Customer,

If you are going to email me 14 times during the day to ask questions that I already answered eight emails back, please READ my replies before you hit "send"!

Also, if you are contacting us by email, and not providing a phone number for us to call you, then why the frickin' ever-lovin' bloody hell don't you CHECK YOUR EMAIL FOR A REPLY FROM US??! I'm effin' sick of people who ask how they can go about placing a death notice for dear old Great-Aunt Bertha, which is soooo important that they MUST have it in tomorrow's paper, and after I send info to them, they just....disappear. End of the day comes, I'm shoving your 14 emails into the "processed" folder. I have actual work to do.

[Fire_on_High]

For fuck's sake, if you aren't ready, don't bring your stuff to the counter and let me start ringing you up. I can't tell you how many voids i end up with because of this! I've written "wasn't ready" on so many slips I've lost count!

Lemme guess, gas station in the south with bright green shirts, known for its coffee and card? I work there and 3/4 of my voids are that shit + someone flinging a fit over the fine print signs....

[Limescale]

Dear Doctor,

This is a high end retail store that serves folk of all tiers of society. On a given day i serve well over two dozen folk who, like yourself, are dressed in generic suits and business attire. That's right, you're not in your lab coat, or hospital scrubs, or wearing your name tag or hospital pass or whatever it is that denotes what your job is. Your credit card and ID also mention just your name, with no letters or symbols or numbers following it that would likewise denote you are in possession of a PhD or serve in a specialist role as your profession.

As such, no, I have no way of knowing you are in fact a doctor, and will thus address you as I do everyone else: 'Sir' or 'Madame' or, if I'm feeling polite, 'Mr. or Mrs. (Name on your Card)'. If you wish to be addressed as DOCTOR (Name on your Card) you're going to have to give me a bit of help. Screaming "THAT'S DOCTOR TO YOU!" or some similar profanity will accomplish nothing other than making you look like an entitled brat, and complaining to my manager afterwards about it will likewise result in little more than some polite nods and some laughter once your back is turned.

Admittedly this hasn't happened to me since I left retail, but given I can recount no less than six occasions where it cropped up during that time I felt it needed to be said.

[skeptic53]

Screaming "THAT'S DOCTOR TO YOU!" or some similar profanity will accomplish nothing other than making you look like an entitled brat, and complaining to my manager afterwards about it will likewise result in little more than some polite nods and some laughter once your back is turned. .

I'm a doctor, I don't care whether I'm addressed with my title or not. It sometimes is amusing when patients try to get a rise out of me by using my first name, I don't react and they get disappointed.

One time, however, I was tempted. I used to belong to a gym. They had a new guy behind the counter, who was about 18 years old. At the time I was past 55. I gave him my card to scan, my name popped up on his computer (full name with title), and he started in with "Welcome Skeptic! How are you doing tonight, Skeptic? Here's your towel, Skeptic! Have a good workout, Skeptic!" I almost barked at him "That's DOCTOR <last name> to you, towel boy!" but I didn't. I nodded grimly and headed for the locker room.

[Nurian]

Get. To. The. POINT!