I should be punished for how I feel

[catcul]

As he also presumably works as a retail peon, maybe it's worth contacting HIS manager?

You should report him to his manager. The manager needs to know how this is representing the company.

[Ghel]

Yes, that should be an acceptable answer. I'm glad your manager took your side.

[An Haddock]

*waits anxiously for the follow-up*

[catcul]

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

My project manager has that on the wall of his office.

[mjr]

My project manager has that on the wall of his office.

On my work machine, I put this Latin in Lync at one point:

"Quod Licet Iovi, Non Licet Bovi".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quod_l...non_licet_bovi

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I told you this already, but I have never had anybody complain about my attitude or facial expression or tell me to cheer up if I tell them I'm not vomiting sunshine and bubble gum cupcakes.

I don't know why this is. Maybe the people in your area are just incurable busybodies or something. Then again I'm not so easy to pin down for conversations like that.

But anyway, that guy's attitude stinks and I am glad your managers have your back against him.

I think "Hi, would you like a manager?" should be my immediate greeting.

Nah, you should take their order and then ask "Would you like a manager with that?"

[Jester]

I'm gonna side with the customer on this one. Food Lady absolutely should be punished. Just okay? Really? In food service? Unacceptable. She should be punished, and I'd like to be the one to punish her...with a beer, glass of wine, cup of coffee, or whatever beverage would help her improve her mood and, not coincidentally, help her forget about asshats who think they have the right to control other people's moods.

Customers can reasonably expect those serving them to not be unpleasant, rude, argumentative, or unfriendly. To expect them to be joyous and shitting rainbows and gummy bears out of their asses every time some asks them how they are, however, is idiotic. When people ask me how I am, I usually say I'm fantastic. Not because I care what they think of my mood, but because I usually AM fantastic. I live in paradise, get people drunk for a living, have nights off, and have the best girlfriend ever created. Why wouldn't I be fantastic? But on days where I am less than my stellar self, I either tell them honestly how I am ("hanging in there!", "ridiculously hungover," and "three days from vacation" are some of my usuals) or dodge and counterpunch ("good, what can I get for you?").

Most customers don't want to hear about your shitty day or your problems, and that's perfectly fair, but they don't have any right to decide how you should feel or that they don't like a lukewarm or noncommittal or even slightly positive answer to their query about your state of being.

In short, fuck 'em.

[Ted_The_IT_Guy]

...I've read the original post several times...and I'm not seeing anything blatantly or even kinda sorta sexist, unless there are details being left out.

Was he a jerk? Absolutely. Should you have to deal with idiots like that? No way.

I'm just not seeing any sexism.

[Food Lady]

Sexist because usually it's men doing this to women. We exist, apparently, to make them feel good. I've never had a woman do this to me. It's the same as men telling women to smile. He does not realize that I in fact am not here to decorate his world.

[notalwaysright]

It's the same as men telling women to smile.

I've had women say this to me. Of course, the shoppers at my work are mostly women... What I think is funny is that I ask every single person what they're making, and guys get all embarrassed about it, "it's not for me! It's for my wife!" Like it will hurt their manliness to buy fabric for themselves...

Sometimes while I'm helping someone she'll spontaneously think I'm upset, or nervous. And then she'll act all weird "It's okay! I'm not mad, don't worry about it!" And then everyone thinks I'm upset, and it's awkward, especially because can't figure out why the heck she said that. Oh, and sometimes coffee makes my hands shake, and people think that means I'm nervous. Hint: It doesn't, and how about being a pal and just not mentioning it? 'Kay thanks.

[RealUnimportant]

...I've read the original post several times...and I'm not seeing anything blatantly or even kinda sorta sexist, unless there are details being left out.

Was he a jerk? Absolutely. Should you have to deal with idiots like that? No way.

I'm just not seeing any sexism.

As has been said, this kind of crap is mostly pulled by males against (perceived) females - not exclusively, but commonly. As Irv says, no-one's pulled it on him; no-one's pulled it on me, but they say similar to female colleagues regularly (sometimes even when they have been nothing but cheerful the entire transaction !)

[Ted_The_IT_Guy]

Sexist because usually it's men doing this to women. We exist, apparently, to make them feel good. I've never had a woman do this to me. It's the same as men telling women to smile. He does not realize that I in fact am not here to decorate his world.

So you are jumping to conclusions with circumstantial evidence. Gotcha.

*note to self - if I as a man do anything that offends a woman, that's automatically sexist, even if all I was doing was being a jerk. Sometimes not even that.*

[Food Lady]

note to self - if I as a man do anything that offends a woman, that's automatically sexist

Not anything, just this particular thing. Also ordering us to smile. Those two things we are going to imagine are sexist because I cannot conceive of a man badgering another man for the right feelings. He'd get his block knocked off.

I have been on the receiving end of discrimination many times and that is going to color how I see it. It was how I was seeing it at the time, in the context of that particular behavior. I'm not a misandrist. I just have a problem being treated as if I must look, act, feel, and think in a way that some men feel is owed to them. Your reaction tells me you don't belong to that group of men. I believe this sucktomer does, based on Tuesday and his past behavior.

[XCashier]

He asked how it was going and I said, "It's OK."... I suppose he was expecting something different than what I said because he challenged me with, "Just ok?"...I decided not to even get into this with him at all, so I simply answered "Yes," which was a perfectly valid response to the second query.
He countered with another "Just ok?"

"Well, yeah, it'd be a lot better except some passive-aggressive control freak seems to think he has the right to tell me how to feel. Go figure."

Not anything, just this particular thing. Also ordering us to smile. Those two things we are going to imagine are sexist because I cannot conceive of a man badgering another man for the right feelings....I just have a problem being treated as if I must look, act, feel, and think in a way that some men feel is owed to them.

Exactly. If you've never been on the receiving end of it, you won't see it yourself. And seeing/hearing it in person is totally different than reading it in print. In person, they talk to you like they'd talk to a dog. "How you doin'? You doin' good? Good girl!"

[Jester]

Not anything, just this particular thing. Also ordering us to smile. Those two things we are going to imagine are sexist because I cannot conceive of a man badgering another man for the right feelings. He'd get his block knocked off.

Except for when one of the men is working in a customer service industry and cannot respond in such persuasive ways. I work in a bar. I have received this very kind of treatment from women and men alike. And if I don't like it, it's not like I can just knock them silly, no matter how much I might be tempted.

Perhaps it is sexist. I don't perceive it as such, but I am a guy, so that may color my perception. Regardless, I view it as an attempt to use the power of being a customer to order an employee who is seen as powerless to refuse to do what the customer wants or feels to be correct. In short, it's more about being an asshole than about being a sexist asshole.