Episode I: The Phonetard Menace

[Kara]

Kara, just please try and keep them on your side of the fence. ><

I'll try and keep mine penned in over here, but I make no promises. Sometimes they get loose.

I make every attempt possible. I try not to unleash them upon more civilized parts of the world. Heaven forbid one of my raving, needy, selfish, white trash princesses meets one of your lords of knuckle-dragging, butt scratching, unintelligible twits. It would be love at first grunt. Yours would club mine over the head and drag her back to his festering lair and the sun would turn black at the moment of their unholy procreation, marking the conception of a being so vile and terrible it dare not be named. And it would rise up and crush every facet of customer service throughout the land through sheer stupidity. The mark of this beast no doubt would be "867," and reps wound be stricken insane upon seeing its mark upon their caller ID. And the darkened halls of the call centers would still carry the echoes of their mad screams forever.

[Andara Bledin]

You could give Lovecraft a run for his money, Kara.

Ew

SM: My phone just took a sh*t on me.

Sounds messy. You might want to take a shower or something.

OMG I don't know how I'd react to that one!

I wouldn't even blink any more.

The phrase has been becoming more common, so along with "crapped out" it's one of the less savory terms to indicate a lack of functionality.

^-.-^

[Kara]

The phrase has been becoming more common, so along with "crapped out" it's one of the less savory terms to indicate a lack of functionality.

I'm familiar with something "crapping out" on someone. This new term is still new to me (slang travels slow to the midwest). It' brings a hilarious image to mind though.

[DesignFox]

Kara...I just love your posts!

I especially enjoyed the "tragically malicious" remark.

I get to deal with some of these morons face to face...but I have to say, I don't get hundreds of them a day like you do...I don't know how you phone reps do it.

[TWOLF]

I love some of the people that gripe about the plans. I love to read posts like this one because it's so bloody true.

[AFpheonix]

Get out of my sight

SW: I need to get a new phone for my husband.
ME: Sure. He's eligible for the full discount. Is there a particular phone he's looking for?
SW: Do you have any (Competitor) phones?

You really...! I mean, are you...? What the f....? AAAARRGGH!

"This is not the company you're looking for."
"....this is not the company I'm looking for...."
"You will drive your car off of a large cliff, ala Toonces."
"....I will drive my car off of a AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Entitlement B*tch Queen

SW: I want something for free. I've been with you for X years and I want something free.
ME: Well, you're already on the best plan for your needs. It's an older promotion, and the current plans for the same rate have less features. So I wouldn't want to change that.
SW: Then give me a free phone without a contract.
ME: I have free phones, but not without contracts.
SW: Then give me text messages.
ME: I don't have a free text messaging feature.
SW: How about a free month? Can I get a free month? Free minutes? Free downloads? I want something free. Can you give me something free? Give me something free. I need something free.

Sometimes you just want to roll up a newspaper and whack people on the nose. "Bad Customer!"

"Madam, today is your lucky day! Today only, you receive a free visit from Og, visiting from Nunavut, and he'll grant you a right good blow to the head! Doesn't that sound lovely?"

[Sliceanddice]

[QUOTE=AFpheonix;125871]"This is not the company you're looking for."
"....this is not the company I'm looking for...."
"You will drive your car off of a large cliff, ala Toonces."
"....I will drive my car off of a AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa




[QUOTE]


OMG SO FREAKING FUNNY. AF im feeling wamr fuzzy feelings for you now