Once in awhile I get that kind of really special SC. The kind who is EXTRA sucky and EXTRA demeaning and EXTRA condescending. An Alpha-SC if you will.
This gentleman, who I've nicknamed the Speed Demon, is one of those.
To give you an idea how bad he is, our account notes generally look something like this:
Customer Service Call
SYSTEM NOTE
SYSTEM NOTE
PLAN CHANGE
SYSTEM NOTE
Customer Service Call
SYSTEM NOTE
SYSTEM NOTE
This guys notes look something like this:
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
And WHY do they look like this? Well, Mr. Speed Demon is one of those hardcore customer types who tracks his network speeds in EXCRUCIATING detail, so much so that if they drop a mere few kbps, he calls us FREAKING OUT, demanding credits, demanding network engineers be sent out and threatening to sue us for the oh so popular "false advertising" because now it takes him 3 milliseconds longer to watch the new episode of the Game of Thrones.
He's the classic SC bully and somehow he's wrangled us out of, wait for it, $712 in credits this year alone!
Anyway, he's been so prolific an SC (I've spoken to him five times on Manager calls) that someone at corporate apparently took notice of him and now he's on our internal list of problem customers. So if he keeps going the way he has been, we will eventually disconnect his services and tell him to go pound sand.
In the meantime he and go around every other week or so, just like this...
SD: I am NOT getting the speeds I should be!!
Me: Actually, yes you are.
SD: NO I AM NOT! THIS IS PROPOSTEROUS! I DEMAND YOU BOOST MY SPEED NOW!
Me: You've made aware multiple times that's not possible.
SD: Then I would like a credit for my inconvenience.
Me: I'm sorry, you've recieved numerous credits for the same in the past few months. so I can't offer you any more.
SD: I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.
Me: So am I. We can't give you any more credits.
SD: GIVE ME A CREDIT!!
Me: No.
SD: GIVE ME A CREDIT!
Me: No
SD: GIVE ME A CREDIT YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF HORSE MANURE!!
Me: No, and if you continue with the abusive language, I will disconnect the call.
SD: F**K YOU!! GIVE ME A CREDIT OR GIVE ME MY PROMISED SPEEDS OR I WILL SUE YOU!!
Me: As I've told you before, you are free to pursue legal action against us if you wish.
SD: GIVE ME A CREDIT!
Me: No.
SD: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! I'LL HAVE YOUR JOB FOR THIS! I'LL HAVE ALL OF YOUR JOBS FOR THIS!!! *CLICK*
Ugh, we can't kick this guy to the curb fast enough.
This gentleman, who I've nicknamed the Speed Demon, is one of those.
To give you an idea how bad he is, our account notes generally look something like this:
Customer Service Call
SYSTEM NOTE
SYSTEM NOTE
PLAN CHANGE
SYSTEM NOTE
Customer Service Call
SYSTEM NOTE
SYSTEM NOTE
This guys notes look something like this:
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
MANAGER CALL
Customer Service Call
Customer Service Call
MANAGER CALL
And WHY do they look like this? Well, Mr. Speed Demon is one of those hardcore customer types who tracks his network speeds in EXCRUCIATING detail, so much so that if they drop a mere few kbps, he calls us FREAKING OUT, demanding credits, demanding network engineers be sent out and threatening to sue us for the oh so popular "false advertising" because now it takes him 3 milliseconds longer to watch the new episode of the Game of Thrones.
He's the classic SC bully and somehow he's wrangled us out of, wait for it, $712 in credits this year alone!
Anyway, he's been so prolific an SC (I've spoken to him five times on Manager calls) that someone at corporate apparently took notice of him and now he's on our internal list of problem customers. So if he keeps going the way he has been, we will eventually disconnect his services and tell him to go pound sand.
In the meantime he and go around every other week or so, just like this...
SD: I am NOT getting the speeds I should be!!
Me: Actually, yes you are.
SD: NO I AM NOT! THIS IS PROPOSTEROUS! I DEMAND YOU BOOST MY SPEED NOW!
Me: You've made aware multiple times that's not possible.
SD: Then I would like a credit for my inconvenience.
Me: I'm sorry, you've recieved numerous credits for the same in the past few months. so I can't offer you any more.
SD: I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.
Me: So am I. We can't give you any more credits.
SD: GIVE ME A CREDIT!!
Me: No.
SD: GIVE ME A CREDIT!
Me: No
SD: GIVE ME A CREDIT YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF HORSE MANURE!!
Me: No, and if you continue with the abusive language, I will disconnect the call.
SD: F**K YOU!! GIVE ME A CREDIT OR GIVE ME MY PROMISED SPEEDS OR I WILL SUE YOU!!
Me: As I've told you before, you are free to pursue legal action against us if you wish.
SD: GIVE ME A CREDIT!
Me: No.
SD: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! I'LL HAVE YOUR JOB FOR THIS! I'LL HAVE ALL OF YOUR JOBS FOR THIS!!! *CLICK*
Ugh, we can't kick this guy to the curb fast enough.
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