Things I am tired of hearing (feel free to add your own!)

[Lace Neil Singer]

"It's cheaper at *insert other petrol station here*!"

THEN BLOODY GO THERE, THEN!!!

[Marmalady]

I am tired of hearing people say "you missed a bit" or "you can do mine when you're finished"

This, a thousand times this. I am also weary to the soles of my feet of hearing 'Say one for me!' if I'm kneeling down to clean. Believe me, even if I was likely to be doing any praying, they wouldn't want to see the results if those prayers were granted.

The classic one though is the one that I always get asked when I'm cleaning the bathrooms. Bearing in mind that ;
a) there is a sign on the door saying that cleaning is in progress
b) there is also a bright yellow warning triangle on the floor, also saying that cleaning is in progress
c) there is a huge cleaning supplies trolley partially blocking the way

it beggars belief the number of times someone will push their way (or try to) past all these, then look at me standing with a cloth in one hand and cleansing spray in the other and ask 'Oh, are you cleaning in here?'

One of these days I am not going to be able to stop myself gesturing dramatically with said cloth and spray, and saying, 'Well take a wild guess.....'

[MoonCat]

"Oh, the cost of the newspaper went up? Are you getting a raise, then?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....No.

"Finally someone answered! I've been on hold forever!"
NO. No you haven't. It's been MAYBE two minutes, if that.

"I can't understand that girl on the hold message! She talks too fast blah blah blah..."
I hear this Every.Day. Yes, we've told management. No, they won't change the message.

"The ad runs thirty days? Does it run on Sundays?"
IT RUNS 30 CONSECUTIVE DAYS! 30 DAYS IN A ROW! WHY ON EARTH WOULDN'T IT RUN ON SUNDAYS!?

"If the ad runs for 14 days, do I get two Sundays?"
Look, Sherlock, this isn't hard. Follow me closely: There are 7 days in every week. There is a Sunday every week. YES, your ad will hit two Sundays in 14 days! YES I'M SURE!!!

[Opalin]

But why are there so many M rated games / I mean that's all that's put there Because the average age of a gamer is 36 and has only gone up every year and thus that's who the market assumes is buying them. You could have bought them a 3ds or done research before making this 300$+ investment, or bought them a wii u, where there are more friendly games

I mean it can't be that bad. Idk, everyone is different. This game features full frontal male and female nudity, torture, drug use etc. You're the parent, are you ready to have that talk?

[Deevil]

"I need the items before the date it says for standard, but I don't want to pay twenty dollars for the faster shipping" Well, I guess you have a decision to make then....

This item is saying discontinued on the website and doesn't have a add to cart button, if I give you the item number can you see if you have any left" Sure thing, but only because a.) 20 second calls hurt my AHT and b.) even though I already know the answer, if I tell you with out looking you'd complain

"It's what you have" (When customer is placing an order by phone, the second question after name on acct is to verify the billing address) Probably, but it's been different enough times to where we do need to ask...especially if you are shipping to the billing address

[No Coupons 4 You]

Hey this coupon didn't scan right. It is supposed to be doubled. Sorry we got rid of double coupons.

[BrenDAnn]

"That's supposed to be on sale!"

Yes, and if you give me two fucking seconds to hit the total button, the register will change the price. Calm the fuck down.

"Don't work too hard!"

This got old after about the third person to say it in my career, let alone this shift. Stop saying this!

"My credit card won't work at the pump!"

You put it in the pump backwards. Let me go put it in the pump the right way. Oh, look, it worked that time. Imagine that.

"Do y'all have ice/bread/an ATM/whatever random item?"

You could try looking around. Our walls are LABELED with where stuff is. Granted, you'd have to browse the aisles themselves, but it's a tiny store. You can handle it, I promise.

[notalwaysright]

"I don't really know what I'm doing."

These people will make me do all the math, then explain how to do the project, and go hand pick every single item while they tag along and act confused. I honestly wonder if they will never make it back to their house due to getting lost, or possibly forgetting how a car works. Best case scenario, they forget about the project for about six months, then return everything.

"Was this on sale? What about this? What's my total now? Can you give me a running total?"

We have several price checkers, this is not new technology, nor is it rocket science. Yes, I understand being on a budget. Do you understand how math works? Why do fabric stores bring this out in people, or do they go around at the grocery store asking random clerks how much each piece of by the-pound-fruit will cost?

[workerbee222]

"How can it cost so much for you to: shorten my fur coat / put a zipper in my parka / hem my wedding gown?

My grandmother sewed our clothes, it can't be that hard. It's not worth that much.

Will you come to my house to mark it, and deliver it when you're done, for no charge?"

[Monterey Jack]

"Don't work too hard!"

This got old after about the third person to say it in my career, let alone this shift. Stop saying this!

The one I hear all the time is, "Working hard, or hardly working?"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"Why come you don't have more checkouts open?"

Because you don't spend enough money, that's why.

[LesserSouthernFroglet]

Non retail, but I have a couple.

How much does a hospital bed cost per day? Well, who's in it? Is it Granny waiting for her nursing home bed, or that young fellow that wrapped his car around a tree last night?

We need this urgently! Good for you! But going on the email trail, it has sat on your desk for a good two months. Why the rush now? Besides, haven't you seen our website with a minimum 2 week lead time?

That data is wrong!! So you say. But you, or someone working for you, entered it. We just extracted and processed it as per your request. Oddly enough, when we feed data issues back to you, nothing changes. So accept what you see, or get your flunkies to do their job correctly. Remember, Garbage in, Garbage out.

Give me the data to prove X. We have extracted and processed the data, and really, X is not the case. Don't kill the messenger. Y is actually shown to be an issue. Why yes, I understand people are complaining about X, but anecdotes <> data. If X is indeed the issue, please see the GIGO comment above.

[No Coupons 4 You]

What do you mean no more double coupons. I actually said this to her because of scammers like you we got rid of them.

[HotelMinion]

*snarky* "Sorry I have woken you!"

I was NOT asleep @#$@#$ you.

"Give me a NICEEEE room."

Nooo I'll give you a horrible room so you can bitch at me all night!

There are others but those are definitely top.

[Lace Neil Singer]

After staring at empty bread/milk shelf for ten minutes...

Do you have any bread/milk out back?

No.