I RUINED CHRISTMAS!!

[dalesys]

People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.

And they're rats in this one.

[WishfulSpirit]

Rats are better than mice. They're smarter, social, loving, and clean if you give them a clean environment to live in.

[wolfie]

Is it me, or don't Muslims don't eat ham? Or are they only allowed to eat it then?

The other day I was looking at old NotAlwaysRight stories, and saw something along those lines (different religion, same rules). Guy walks into a kosher deli and asks for a ham sandwich. Counter person says they don't have ham, but they've got turkey, roast beef, corned beef, and pastrami. Customer asks "Do you have something against ham?" Counter person's response "As a matter of fact, we do".

Then there's the lady that bought everyone on her Christmas list an emergency hammer that would could cut a seatbelt and shatter a window. "Oh, thanks, Grandma. This will come in really handy the next time I'm in an accident so severe that I have to shatter a window to escape. I'm sure that it'll be close by and handy at that point."

I was an EMT for over 8 years, and never had to shatter a window to get someone out. If the accident was so severe that the door couldn't open, the window had already shattered in the impact. The only time I ever had to cut a seatbelt, the patient was already unconscious.

Got one of those for my mother a few years before she died. Reason I got it was the third function - stick the end into the loop on the door frame that the latch engages, and it becomes an assist handle for getting in and out of the car. Note that some of these handles won't work on some cars. The one I got will work on a Jeep Patriot (went to a Chrysler showroom, explained the situation, and asked to try it out), but won't work on a 2nd generation Elantra (plastic coating on the loop makes it slightly too small for the tool to fit).

It's possible for a collision to jam the door without shattering the window. Back in '94, I was driving a '93 Excel hatchback, and the full-size van behind me decided to run a red light. Had to get out through the passenger door because the driver's door was jammed, but the only broken window was the one in the tailgate (was finding pieces of glass until I scrapped the car about 10 years back).

[Lace Neil Singer]

The other day I was looking at old NotAlwaysRight stories, and saw something along those lines (different religion, same rules). Guy walks into a kosher deli and asks for a ham sandwich. Counter person says they don't have ham, but they've got turkey, roast beef, corned beef, and pastrami. Customer asks "Do you have something against ham?" Counter person's response "As a matter of fact, we do".

That made me think of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA_Tl1kvlQU

[notalwaysright]

I was an EMT for over 8 years, and never had to shatter a window to get someone out. If the accident was so severe that the door couldn't open, the window had already shattered in the impact. The only time I ever had to cut a seatbelt, the patient was already unconscious.

I have this fear of being trapped in a car sinking in water. Where I live is surrounded by water... So I got this tool that will (theoretically) break the window, and cut the seat belt. It's attached to my visor, so I could grab it easily. It's my security blanket.

[Slave to the Phone]

I am related to people who have one secured somewhere handy in their vehicles. Thankfully, nobody I know has actually had to use one, but if it makes them happy to have such an object handy, all is good.

Thanks wolfie for telling us about the third use. I can't really see how that works, though. Wouldn't the tool get in the way when one is getting out of the car?

[Kit-Ginevra]

Wouldn't the tool get in the way when one is getting out of the car?

Such are the problems when God has been generous to you....


Oh.I see what you mean....

[wolfie]

Thanks wolfie for telling us about the third use. I can't really see how that works, though. Wouldn't the tool get in the way when one is getting out of the car?

The window breaker and belt cutter are cheap items to add to other tools (I've even seen them on flashlights). The particular unit I got was sold as an assist handle, and the "escape" functions were extra features. They didn't get in the way - end of the tool that went into the loop came to a relatively blunt point, so you could grab it by the grip and slam the point into a window. The belt cutter was a slot in the bottom of the grip with a sharpened edge of the metal core exposed - but anything wider than around 1/8" wouldn't fit in the slot, and therefore couldn't be cut by the edge.

[Argabarga]

I found one of those window-breaking tools in a repossessed car. Tried it out on a few of the junk ones lying about in the impound lot waiting for the scrap man. They work, with hardly any effort, a five year old could do it.

[Slave to the Phone]

Its always good to have first hand evidence that something works.

I don't know if this counts, but our office ruined Veterans Day. We were closed and left a homeless vet hungry and on the streets because we were too selfish to work.

I listened to the recording, its possible that he was chemically influenced when he called. Sadly, he didn't leave a contact number before he hung the phone up in righteous fury so we couldn't call him back and wake him up at the horrible hour of 8 am.

[Ironclad Alibi]

I was an EMT for over 8 years, and never had to shatter a window to get someone out. If the accident was so severe that the door couldn't open, the window had already shattered in the impact. The only time I ever had to cut a seatbelt, the patient was already unconscious.

Many decades ago I managed to roll a VW bug. It landed on the passenger side door. I was able to get out but the rescue squad kicked out the windshield to remove the front seat passenger. Since this happened in early December, I guess I ruined her Christmas.

The other day I was looking at old NotAlwaysRight stories, and saw something along those lines (different religion, same rules). Guy walks into a kosher deli and asks for a ham sandwich. Counter person says they don't have ham, but they've got turkey, roast beef, corned beef, and pastrami. Customer asks "Do you have something against ham?" Counter person's response "As a matter of fact, we do".

I used to get BLT sandwiches from a cafe run by Muslims. Instead of bacon they used Sizzlean, which was made from beef. The sandwiches were very tasty. They quit making Sizzlean about 11 years ago.

[WishfulSpirit]

I used to get BLT sandwiches from a cafe run by Muslims. Instead of bacon they used Sizzlean, which was made from beef. The sandwiches were very tasty. They quit making Sizzlean about 11 years ago.

Smoked turkey is quite good with lettuce and tomato, and turkey bacon is available if a bit odd. I personally went with homemade tempeh bacon when I was vegan. Not quite the same but the experience was similar.

[wolfie]

I used to get BLT sandwiches from a cafe run by Muslims. Instead of bacon they used Sizzlean, which was made from beef. The sandwiches were very tasty. They quit making Sizzlean about 11 years ago.

There's still turkey bacon (basically, processed turkey meat turned into imitation bacon), and black forest style turkey (tastes pretty much like black forest ham).

[Mr Hero]

Reading back over some of the replies, a thought strikes me, like a sledgehammer to the head. Why is it, when we enforce policy set by those much higher in the food chain than us, the we PERSONALLY have ruined Christmas, Thanksgiving, Arbor Day, Ramadan or Groundhog Day.

You just ruined Groundhog Day!
(Next day)
You just ruined Groundhog Day!
etc.

[Geek King]

You just ruined Groundhog Day!
(Next day)
You just ruined Groundhog Day!
etc.

Huh. New film fan theory: The events of Groundhog Day actually took place durning the time loop of Docter Strange.