I just want to be happy... And naked

[emax4]

Kinda sucks that touching him would be grounds for sexual assault when clearly he's creating public lewdness. One charge for the other, I guess....

[AkaiKitsune]

Kinda sucks that touching him would be grounds for sexual assault when clearly he's creating public lewdness. One charge for the other, I guess....

Yes, well if we do it then it's grounds for sexual assault but if the cops do it then it's just their job. Though even the cops (one male one female) had a difficult time as they were laughing too hard at the ridiculousness of it. Didn't help that he kept making comments about the handcuffs and the taser... And the poorly hidden inuendo. Seriously, there are only so many ways to compare a gun to a penis. Or the line "did you become a cop so you could hold a gun?" said in a way that definitely meant he wasn't referring to the one on her belt. Or the "are you compensating for something there? Wife left you? Bad sex life? No sex life? Or just a really small penis? I'd still sleep with you. Either of you... Or both...." And other just corny terrible shit. Which normally wouldn't make anyone laugh except he was naked... And the gestures... And the facial expressions...

[Kit-Ginevra]

So if you didn't actually touch him,but instead brandished the lobster and as he raced around,its claws went snap on his bits,could you be done for sexual assault?Or using the lobster as an offensive weapon?

*and I bet no-one's been charged with sexual assault with a lobster before*

[catcul]

I bet the cops had an easy time searching him.

I would have asked where he would conceal a weapon, but we all know the answer. I'd rather not think about that.

[morgana]

*and I bet no-one's been charged with sexual assault with a lobster before*

Ya know, I don't think I'd take that bet. There are some amazingly weird people out there . . .

[Kit-Ginevra]

At another branch of the store where I used to work, they had a regular (for want of a better word) who liked to get into a changing room, strip off and then run through the store shouting 'Catch me, girls!'

They banned him time and time again but he would find a way to sneak in.

Ah but did they ever take him up on his offer?

[Marmalady]

Ah but did they ever take him up on his offer?

If the assistant manager had caught him, believe me he would soon have regretted the offer.. she was like hell on wheels

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Ya know, I don't think I'd take that bet. There are some amazingly weird people out there . . .

According to the huge number of fetish sites out here, there are.
Unfortunately for this dude, it was more like a case of making much ado about nothing.