No rock left unchewed

[raw1989]

I work in a call center im late to the party but they call 9 months latter for a gift card that the time frame expired on 7 months ago vouchers only good for 60 days had a guy installed gor over a year call about this.... the calls i deal woth daily.

[Buzzard]

I used to work security for a couple sites. Teaching truck drivers how to use their equipment was a favorite. (I have never been a Class A driver, but I pay attention and read the labels on the knobs and levers)
Working the gate on one of these golf course-enhanced, overpriced housing developments... kinda rounded out my education on SCs.

[XCashier]

Maybe minor instances of SC idiocy, but they're going to keep annoying me until I post, I think.

Minor instances of SC idiocy are like individual drops of water in water torture. Someone else might say, "one instance, big deal", but the rest of us know that these little things add up to drive a person crazy.

Work in a call center long enough and it will very effectively kill any faith you had that humans qualify as intelligent life.

Doesn't even need to be a call center. Any customer service job will do that. Human beings can be appallingly stupid. If we every person who deserves it, all the oceans in the world would run out of fish.

[Seanette]

Another entry in the "zombies are smarter" division:

Explained standard (7-10 business days) vs. express (2 business days) shipping, including arrival dates based on item being shipped today.

Caller asked which was faster.

Speaking of zombies, another for the "your reality must be much more entertaining than mine" category: I was informed by a caller that shipping time on a physical object was "like the zombie apocalypse". This was some weeks ago, but it's rather difficult to forget a conversation like that.

[csquared]

Old typewriters had a shift key and a shift lock. When the lock was engaged, you got the alternate characters for ALL keys, including the numbers/special characters. Pressing the shift key raised the typebars so that the bottom of the head would strike.

The cap lock only affects the letters. That is why it is a cap lock, not a shift lock.

[EricKei]

normal typing would be all upper case letters and using the shift key would let you type a lower case letter.

This is how modern computer keyboards work, as well - Perhaps this typewriter/company is where they got the idea from ^_^

[Ironclad Alibi]

This one has me just shaking my head. Adult male, helping his mother deal with online access. I actually had to explain to him how the Shift key works and how that differs from the Caps Lock key.

Trivia Time

I once had an antique typewriter, a Remington from the 1880s, that had a caps lock feature. Normally the shift key lets you type an upper case letter. But if you flip a certain lever then normal typing would be all upper case letters and using the shift key would let you type a lower case letter.

I wonder if people got confused over that feature?

Later model typewriters had a shift lock key, but I don't recall being able to type lower case letters without releasing the caps lock key.

[Kit-Ginevra]

I worked for the Borough Council once-we sent out a questionnaire about facilities in the town and services.At the end was the terrifying question 'Do you have any suggestions as to how we can improve our services'?The answers we received....

My favourite was the guy who complained... 'I put in a complaint about the state of the footpath by my garden 25 years ago.I have not received any reply since...' Perhaps the guy investigating had only just managed to make his way out????

[protege]

...(while my brain was trying to come up with nastier things to step on than Legos), and release the call.

I'm thinking cat barf. That stuff is a pretty vile substance, especially when you find it first thing in the morning

But seriously, I work for a brokerage. Every now and then we get people wanting to cancel or adjust trades. Most of the time, it's not a problem--either something got screwed up the day before, or even same-day. No big deal, either correct it (same day), or send a wire to the main office. Either way, it's not an issue.

But then there's one vendor, that I hate to deal with. These assclowns are legendary for some of their requests. Not long ago, they wanted us to adjust a trade that had occurred over a year ago. Naturally, they were pissed when I said that I couldn't do it. Never mind that all data on my system gets archived (cleared) after 6 months and is inaccessible to me. Never mind that they had 3 days (the usual settlement period) to not only make up their minds but to make sure that their client had the required funds to actually purchase the item. Never mind that they'd sold us the item, and we'd sold it on a freaking year ago, and I'm sure it was sold on multiple times to other people since then. Yeah, I'll get right on that

At least I didn't have to actually do it. My boss told them to go screw themselves. If it had been a same-day item, or even next day, he'd have been willing to help them out. But a year later? Screw that.

[Marmalady]

nastier things to step on than Legos

The plug at the end of a power cable, lying with prongs upwards.

[notalwaysright]

This one has me just shaking my head. Adult male, helping his mother deal with online access. I actually had to explain to him how the Shift key works and how that differs from the Caps Lock key.

I can beat this. Second year in an IT program. A guy was using caps lock instead of shift. The teacher asks why, the guy says to capitalize a letter. The teacher explains caps lock vs shift. The guy was super excited about this information and didn't realize how basic it was and he was asking the students sitting near him "did you know the shift key will capitalize one letter!" stuff like that. It hurt. I could understand if it was someone very VERY unfamiliar with keyboards, maybe a kid who has only used tablets and smartphones or something. But not a person in the second year of an IT program.

[Seanette]

This one has me just shaking my head. Adult male, helping his mother deal with online access. I actually had to explain to him how the Shift key works and how that differs from the Caps Lock key.

[Seanette]

Today was delightful. These two don't actually qualify as rock-chewers, but as not inhabiting a reasonable reality.

#1 decided receiving money from a government agency had been some form of scam against him. These payments occurred at the start of 2016.

#2 decided that a government agency not making the payments he thought were due him meant my employer, and I personally, are stealing from him, and he made some mildly threatening remarks on the subject. My response was to remind him he was being recorded, wish him a nice day (while my brain was trying to come up with nastier things to step on than Legos), and release the call.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Around here Seanette we call that Customer Standard Time.

I also work at a call center (for a wireless provider) and get that crap all the time too.

[Seanette]

And yet another recent one. She'd had a service performed more than once that carried an associated fee. Processing this service requires documenting the customer's consent to this fee.

She was demanding that said fee be refunded, claiming she'd never even known about it.

Said services were performed in 2014.