Things you wish customers could comprehend

[blas]

How about this one:

Pitch black store
Locked doors
No other cars in parking lot
Angry clerk glaring at you

Could it be that the store is CLOSED and the clerk is waiting by the door for you to LEAVE so he/she can lock it from the outside and GO HOME?

[auntiem]

Time zones - seriously, how hard is it to wrap your head around this concept? You are visiting family for heaven's sake you must know it is three hours ahead or do you call them at midnight their time?
Daylight savings - Mexico's daylight savings changes on a different day than ours (at least it used to), some states don't participate and so on. Please accept this explination - don't argue with me about it.
The date line - I know it is a difficult concept that if you leave here you will touchdown two Calendar Days later and coming home you will arrive before you left. Again, don't argue with me about "losing nights" on your vacation - I didn't take them.

[MoonChild2007]

Bank Teller rules

1. I don't care how much money you spend here
2. Stop assuming that everyone knows you cause clearly I don't!
3. Quit cashing other people's checks especially if its over $1500.
4. STOP telling me so and so does for you all the time, YOU ARE DEALING WITH ME NOW not Them!
5. Checks are not cash!
6. If I call you over, go to me not another teller espeically if I tell YOU TO YOUR FACE! You wouldn't believe the kind of people I would say May i help you to their face and go straight to another person.
7. I am just as capable of doing something as those other tellers. there is no need to wait 5 minutes for a teller just to do a simple deposit!
8. STOP shouting at the window, I can't hear you! There is a CALL button right in front your face! ( Drive up horrors)
9. Stop going to the same people over, over,over and over again. One day, they will not be here so don't complain about how what's her face does it for you!
10. We do not cash checks made out to cash. Is your name CASH?
11. Don't ask me why I need your ID. Stupid question.

[sp00by]

"No" .. means NO... plain and simple.

[AFpheonix]

AGAIN with the people who don't get marketing 101. I had a chick bring in one of those lil' $20 promo checks. She couldn't comprehend that she had to transfer a prescription for me to be able to validate the check. Sure, she transferred one, but that was 2 FREAKING YEARS AGO. Her current prescription is a call in.
Her parting shot? "Well, you guys need to stop mailing these out." Uh.....we should stop sniping other pharmacies' customers? And that makes us money...how?

[Pagan]

5: We don't watch every single tv channel, all the time, so saying 'it was on TV last night' won't help us find the product.

Oh, good Gord, YES!!! Telling me that it was on Oprah is not helpful. Chances are, I was here when she was on in our area, and even if I wasn't, I don't watch her because I CAN"T STAND HER!! Is it really that hard to write it down or, say, look it up on the website? And by-the-by, if it was on PBS during their recent begathon, it's more than likely that it's only available through PBS....at an exhorbitant rate! Seriously, who really wants to pay $120 for a DVD?

[BookstoreEscapee]

) or when you get down to the last 5 to 10 pills in your bottle, please call for a refill at that point, not 2 days after you've been out. Less waiting for you, less of an emergency if there happens to be a problem, like needing a refill, less stress! It's great! Plus, it drops my wait time down for the people who managed to break their arm doing something silly.

Guilty . I realized Friday evening that I had 3 pills left. Which meant I got to go to the grocery store on Sunday afternoon (bad enough) the day before Memorial Day (). Then I made the mistake of asking my parents if they needed anything (). Technically I could have picked it up this afternoon after work but if something came up and I couldn't I'd be screwed - if I miss a day I get very dizzy and queasy by the next afternoon and driving is usually not a good idea by that point.

5: We don't watch every single tv channel, all the time, so saying 'it was on TV last night' won't help us find the product.

BN does have an "in the media" link on their system to see what has been on a number of TV shows, and major magazines/newspapers/radio shows but it doesn't get updated for a day or two. So if it was on this morning we won't be able to see it on the list tonight. Come back in 2 days, maybe we can tell you then. And if it was on your local 5-town-radius radio station, sorry, they're not on the list.

Mine:

1. If you ask where to find something and I say "right this way, follow me"...don't stand there at the customer service desk, FOLLOW ME!
   
2. And if I say I'm going to check in receiving for you, stand there at the customer service desk, DON'T FOLLOW ME!!

[Boozy]

AGAIN with the people who don't get marketing 101.

How about people that just don't understand basic Economics 101?

Supply and demand is beyond them. They can't comprehend why items that cost more to produce cost more money. They don't understand why Coca-Cola won't honour Pepsi Co.'s coupon. They don't see why a store can't afford to stay open 24 hours just in case they might want a soda at 3 am.

I never knew how to react to some of these complaints. I'm a salesclerk, not a teacher. If you don't understand the big scary world around you, read a newspaper.

[BookstoreEscapee]

How about people that just don't understand basic Economics 101?

Hehe, I should have kept a copy of Economics for Dummies and the Complete Idiot's Guide to Economics at my register for those people

(yes, they're real books)

[HawaiianShirts]

How about people that just don't understand basic Economics 101?

Or Communication.

Me: (troubleshooting a laptop problem) Hold down the power button for about five seconds. That should force it to reset.
Caller: I tried that. It didn't work.
Me: Did you hold the button down or just press it?
Caller: I've pressed it, like, a thousand times by now.
Me: Try pressing it and holding it for about five seconds.
Caller: Okay. (I start counting silently "One one-thousand, Two one-thou...") It still didn't work.
Me: You're not holding it down long enough. The computer has to know you mean it when you tell it to shut off this way. Let's try one more time. I'll count this time.

Me: We're sold out.
SC: Do you have any in the back?

Me: That model was discontinued early last year.
SC: When will you be getting more in?

Me: Anything I can help you with today?
SC: mumblemumblemumble.
Me: What was that?
SC: I SAID NO, I'M FINE!

Me: Anything I can help you with today?
SC: Good, how are you?

Me: Anything I can help you with today?
SC: Yeah. I'm just looking around.

Me: Anything I can help you with today?
SC: (says nothing and completely ignores me)

It seems my days go unfulfilled if I don't have at least one head-desk moment.

[Retail Associate]

~ No, we don't resize rings here. We just sell them.

~ No, we don't remove links from watchbands. We just sell them.

~ No, we can't replace the battery in your watch because it is held together with screws. We DO NOT remove screws from SCs watches under ANY circumstances.

~ No, we don't do inscriptions on any jewelry. We just sell it.

~ No, we don't reset gems/diamonds on jewelry. We just sell it.

~ No, we don't do body piercings. We just sell (chincy) jewelry at outrageous prices.

PLEASE PEOPLE! We are a big box retailer (think WalMart only more expensive). We're not a full-service jeweler nor do we even come close to resembling a full-service jeweler. We just sell the crap!!!

Now, be gone!

[Enigma]

1-) I'm not here to be yelled at or cused out, I'm here to help you.

2-) If you change your programming in the middle of your billing cycle, next months bill will be different. It's not scamming, it's correcting YOUR payments for the programming you ACTUALLY had.

3-) Reading the fine print will save you, and myself a lot of trouble. Yes, I know the add says 19.99. But that is for our lowest package, with a 10$ rebate for 10 months that YOU have to send in. It's for up to 2 tvs, and it doesn't include all those fancy extras.

4-) You are simply one of many, many customers. You are not the most.

5-) If you signed the contract, your stuck for 18months. It's not my fault you didn't read it beforehand.

[KellyHabersham]

1. If the terminal says "override not allowed" on something, it means exactly that.

2. Just because we sell watches doesn't automatically mean that we change watch batteries, do repairs, or should be held responsible because the watch quits functioning like it's supposed to.

3. If you're buying jewelry as a gift for someone, please DO NOT cut/scrape off/remove the price tag and SKU number. Because if the receiver of the gift decides to return it, this just makes processing the return more difficult and time-consuming for everyone.

4. If I am busy helping a customer, and I say "I'll be with you as soon as I can", it doesn't mean stand there and complain because I'm not dropping what I'm doing to attend to you. Which is one reason I dislike about being in the watch area, because customers looking for watches can be really bad about that.

[Andara Bledin]

1) I just answer the phone. I can't help you with any of the questions you want to ask except to give you our fax or email information.

2) We are not an authorized distributor, so don't ask for original packaging (it's hit or miss), traceability back to the factory (we almost never have it), or manufacturer certification (we won't ever have that).

3) We are not a store. You cannot just walk in and look around. You cannot walk in and expect someone to be available to help you immediately. If you walk in and ask for a part we may or may not have it, know where it is, be able to find it (we actually "lose" a lot of odd parts... poor record keeping + lazy/stupid stock workers = lots of lost product = lots of lost sales), or have the quantity you are looking for.

4. If I am busy helping a customer, and I say "I'll be with you as soon as I can", it doesn't mean stand there and complain because I'm not dropping what I'm doing to attend to you. Which is one reason I dislike about being in the watch area, because customers looking for watches can be really bad about that.

So... These people just stand there, glancing at the bare spaces on their wrists while sighing heavily and tapping their feet?

^-.-^

[Becks]

"It's not my deparment" means that I don't work grocery/meat/dairy/whatever...I'll TRY to help you find what you want, but no miracles.

"It's 10:00 and the store is now closed"...well, that should be obvious...

We are a big box retailer (think WalMart only more expensive).

Target?