So I stopped off after work to my favourite 24hrs Timmys (yes I'm Canadian, deal with my Timmys addiction). I'm come to know the night staff quite well on account of frequency and the same order everytime.
These teens were in the store at the time ahead of me. They kept giving the night clerk shit because he wouldn't let them have their "service dog" in the store.
It wasn't a service dog. Very very clearly was not a service dog.
Service dogs are attentive to their handler. They don't start pulling at the leash and acting like pint sized pychos because they got to go in a food place. They are trained to behave in food establishments long before they ever get paired off with someone who needs them.
I don't like people harassing my friends.
Me: So I ask them what the service dog is supposed to be for.
Kid: uh, I'm disabled obviously.
Me: [being an asshole isn't considered a legal disability] Okay, where is your service dog's best or collar signifying it is a service dog. (All service dogs are required to have a clearly marked vest or wide collar with the dog's identification card in a special clear plastic card holder seen into the vest or collar. They are usually in bright florescent colours though not always.)
Kid: uh, I left it at home.
Me: [fine but you're still breaking the law technically] okay so who trained him/her.
Kid: how should I know?
Me: Because your parents would have had to apply to the organization to get one paired up with you and when you turned 17 you would have been required to sign paperwork stating you are responsible for taking care of this animal and that you do in fact need it to function.
Kid: you can't possibly know that! You're lying.
Me: No I'm not. I used to train service dogs for assisted living. Mostly CP, early MS dogs. I used to train bigger dogs for bigger people since part of their necessary function would require them to be used to pull oneself up off the ground. Do you have your dog's identification papers or card? (Again here it's illegal for them not to have them). Legally you must present them if asked. The dog should have a vest or collar on it with clear identification stating it is a service dog (please do not pet), what organization is responsible for its training and pairing it up with you. It should also have a clear card pocket stating the dog's name, ID number, age, etc and most importantly what its used for. This is so that if you are rendered unconscious for whatever reason then paramedics can know if there is any medication that they shouldn't give you ever (for instance for certain heart issues issuing certain drugs can kill you) and to ascertain that whatever caused your unconscious state was not because of a medical condition. (For instance if you're diabetic. And the dog is there for that then they would also make checking your levels a priority rather then let's check this since nothing else is working. It could very well mean life or death, which is why it's now a legal requirement)
Oh, did you also know it's considered a provincial crime to claim a dog is a service dog when it isn't. If you go to the lengths of fake ID/paperwork and a fake vest it becomes federal.
Kid: que stammering and quickly leaving the building quickly.
Later on returning to car.
Kid and friends: your cars parked illegally. I'm gonna call a tow truck.
Me: not worried, it will take at least 20min to get here.
Kid: my dads a cop. I'll just call him.
Me: oh? And what number will you use?
Kid: lists the non-emergency number (probably pulled off google)
Me: bullshit. If you were actually a cops kid you would be using a direct line where you would then have to type in numbers as the robot asks to get what particular part of law enforcement (cop covers a wide area) and if your dad was a patrolling officer then they would patch you directly to the car via the radio system in the car, which depending on gear that they've got would possibly mean using the little hand radio to communicate. Because news flash, they don't generally want even cop kids to be bugging their officers at work. If there's an emergency, they'll either call you or dispatch will call them directly instead of making you jump through hoops. Or just use his fucking cell phone.
Kid: you're just jealous.
Me *after I stop laughing so hard I'm tearing up*: Jealous of a little shit like you honey? Really? I go skydiving. I have military training that by rights as a civilian now I shouldn't be allowed to have. I am qualified long distance precision marksman. (My dear Russian grandma taught me. Picture a female Yoda with a Russian accent and more crazy then an entire insane asylum all together) ever sit on a 1200lb animal and ride it over a series of 4ft high fences? No? Do you know the adrenaline rush of jumping out of a plane at 50,000ft? So high you can see the curve of the earth and have to where a mask just to breath?(technically two if you count the prebreathing). No? Ever glory in the looks of 40yr old men as you out shoot them? Have you even held anything more dangerous then a plastic knife? No? Have you ever practiced any form of martial arts? Ever bowed to your teacher as they present you with a second Dan blackbelt? Felt pride in how far you've come from not being able to throw a punch or do so much as a shoulder roll? Do you do parkour/freerunning every Sunday even though the wall still outsmarts me? No? Then what the hell do I have to be jealous of little boy? Have you even had sex yet?"
Don't know what he said back if anything because I got in my car, cranked my music and left before I decided to show him my actual skill set reserved generally for non-civilians.
These teens were in the store at the time ahead of me. They kept giving the night clerk shit because he wouldn't let them have their "service dog" in the store.
It wasn't a service dog. Very very clearly was not a service dog.
Service dogs are attentive to their handler. They don't start pulling at the leash and acting like pint sized pychos because they got to go in a food place. They are trained to behave in food establishments long before they ever get paired off with someone who needs them.
I don't like people harassing my friends.
Me: So I ask them what the service dog is supposed to be for.
Kid: uh, I'm disabled obviously.
Me: [being an asshole isn't considered a legal disability] Okay, where is your service dog's best or collar signifying it is a service dog. (All service dogs are required to have a clearly marked vest or wide collar with the dog's identification card in a special clear plastic card holder seen into the vest or collar. They are usually in bright florescent colours though not always.)
Kid: uh, I left it at home.
Me: [fine but you're still breaking the law technically] okay so who trained him/her.
Kid: how should I know?
Me: Because your parents would have had to apply to the organization to get one paired up with you and when you turned 17 you would have been required to sign paperwork stating you are responsible for taking care of this animal and that you do in fact need it to function.
Kid: you can't possibly know that! You're lying.
Me: No I'm not. I used to train service dogs for assisted living. Mostly CP, early MS dogs. I used to train bigger dogs for bigger people since part of their necessary function would require them to be used to pull oneself up off the ground. Do you have your dog's identification papers or card? (Again here it's illegal for them not to have them). Legally you must present them if asked. The dog should have a vest or collar on it with clear identification stating it is a service dog (please do not pet), what organization is responsible for its training and pairing it up with you. It should also have a clear card pocket stating the dog's name, ID number, age, etc and most importantly what its used for. This is so that if you are rendered unconscious for whatever reason then paramedics can know if there is any medication that they shouldn't give you ever (for instance for certain heart issues issuing certain drugs can kill you) and to ascertain that whatever caused your unconscious state was not because of a medical condition. (For instance if you're diabetic. And the dog is there for that then they would also make checking your levels a priority rather then let's check this since nothing else is working. It could very well mean life or death, which is why it's now a legal requirement)
Oh, did you also know it's considered a provincial crime to claim a dog is a service dog when it isn't. If you go to the lengths of fake ID/paperwork and a fake vest it becomes federal.
Kid: que stammering and quickly leaving the building quickly.
Later on returning to car.
Kid and friends: your cars parked illegally. I'm gonna call a tow truck.
Me: not worried, it will take at least 20min to get here.
Kid: my dads a cop. I'll just call him.
Me: oh? And what number will you use?
Kid: lists the non-emergency number (probably pulled off google)
Me: bullshit. If you were actually a cops kid you would be using a direct line where you would then have to type in numbers as the robot asks to get what particular part of law enforcement (cop covers a wide area) and if your dad was a patrolling officer then they would patch you directly to the car via the radio system in the car, which depending on gear that they've got would possibly mean using the little hand radio to communicate. Because news flash, they don't generally want even cop kids to be bugging their officers at work. If there's an emergency, they'll either call you or dispatch will call them directly instead of making you jump through hoops. Or just use his fucking cell phone.
Kid: you're just jealous.
Me *after I stop laughing so hard I'm tearing up*: Jealous of a little shit like you honey? Really? I go skydiving. I have military training that by rights as a civilian now I shouldn't be allowed to have. I am qualified long distance precision marksman. (My dear Russian grandma taught me. Picture a female Yoda with a Russian accent and more crazy then an entire insane asylum all together) ever sit on a 1200lb animal and ride it over a series of 4ft high fences? No? Do you know the adrenaline rush of jumping out of a plane at 50,000ft? So high you can see the curve of the earth and have to where a mask just to breath?(technically two if you count the prebreathing). No? Ever glory in the looks of 40yr old men as you out shoot them? Have you even held anything more dangerous then a plastic knife? No? Have you ever practiced any form of martial arts? Ever bowed to your teacher as they present you with a second Dan blackbelt? Felt pride in how far you've come from not being able to throw a punch or do so much as a shoulder roll? Do you do parkour/freerunning every Sunday even though the wall still outsmarts me? No? Then what the hell do I have to be jealous of little boy? Have you even had sex yet?"
Don't know what he said back if anything because I got in my car, cranked my music and left before I decided to show him my actual skill set reserved generally for non-civilians.
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