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She's Not Driving, is she?

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  • She's Not Driving, is she?

    I was in the laundry basket aisle, which is also where the hangers are. Hangers are at one end of the aisle and laundry baskets are on the other, which is where a customer and her boyfriend were standing, looking for hangers.

    "Oh, that says hangers," the GF said. "But that's not where hangers are, they're lying. That's not right."

    She whizzed by me on her way to the hangers and I looked in the direction of the laundry baskets, not seeing the sign that was supposedly lying. The boyfriend just looked at me and shrugged, as he didn't see it either.

    Now, on the end cap there were hangers at one point. I didn't recall seeing a sign that specifically said hangers but I went to check anyway, thinking I would remove it as it would be misleading if she was right. Alas, I did not see a sign either.

    She returned with her hangers and said to me, "That sign says hangers. But that's not where the hangers are. You really need to change that."

    Finally, I looked to where she was pointing. The sign said "hampers." I pointed this out and she started giggling. Not a drunk giggle. Not an embarrassed giggle. She was wearing glasses, so I know it wasn't a vision thing. She just laughed without any sign that she knew she had made a mistake.

    I just smiled and looked at the boyfriend and maybe my brain mouth filter skipped a bit when I said, "You're the one driving, right?"

    He nodded, with enough embarrassment to make up for his SO and they went about their day.
    Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

  • #2
    Ahh, the joys of pharmaceutical recreation. I could make a couple guesses as to what was making her world so much fun, but yes, it's a GOOD THING that someone else be driving.
    Seriously, who takes their chemmed up humans out in public? Sesame Street and the like should keep that one entertained until sobriety starts kicking in again.

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    • #3
      In situations like this, I think even a grocery basket would count against the "no operating heavy machinery" rule
      - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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      • #4
        Quoth Argabarga View Post
        In situations like this, I think even a grocery basket would count against the "no operating heavy machinery" rule



        So would a piece of paper for that matter. Either that or she doesn't get out much. Whatever the reason, she's a public menace.



        Drugs are bad, mhkay?
        Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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        • #5
          Quoth Buzzard View Post
          Seriously, who takes their chemmed up humans out in public? Sesame Street and the like should keep that one entertained until sobriety starts kicking in again.
          Sometimes you just don't have a choice due to other commitments; if there's something that you desperately need to get before going home to care for said drugged up human, then you take them with you and hope you can keep them under control.
          "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

          Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

          The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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          • #6
            True. If she was confused by two letters on a sign, God only knows what she'd accidentally drink while he was away.
            Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

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            • #7
              My mum's mum, when the dementia really started kicking in, managed to set fire to her kitchen after forgetting she'd put something on the hob to cook.

              Mum started phoning around the local residential nursing homes the next day.
              "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

              Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

              The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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              • #8
                Quoth greek_jester View Post
                ... managed to set fire to her kitchen ...
                I've boiled eggs until they were not only hard, they were black.
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                • #9
                  My nan didn't just burn dinner, she didn't notice the flames shooting up the wall or pay attention to the fire alarm. If mum hadn't been dropping by to do some bits for mum, goodness knows what could have happened. Luckily it didn't involve grease or oil, or the whole house could have gone.

                  Since the kitchen was 60's chic and would be ripped out by the new owners (we were forced to sell up to use the money for nan's care) we just re-plastered and painted where necessary (after, of course, making sure there was only cosmetic, not structural, damage) and left it as was. Last we heard the new owners had ripped out the side of the house to turn the small galley kitchen into a large kitchen-diner anyway. 30's semis only had diddy little kitchens, completely inadequate for modern living, so it wasn't exactly a surprise.
                  "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

                  Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

                  The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth dalesys View Post
                    I've boiled eggs until they were not only hard, they were black.
                    my daughter did the same thing except she completely melted the small aluminum pot she used. lucky she did not kill the burner
                    I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                    -- Life Sucks Then You Die.


                    "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

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                    • #11
                      I've boiled the pan dry with some eggs in, but I did at least remember before the pan (or anything else) was damaged. The eggs themselves were still edible too, which was nice.
                      This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
                      I can't make something magically appear to fulfill all your hopes and dreams. Believe me, if I could I'd be the first person I'd help. - Trixie

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                      • #12
                        When I was a teenager, a buddy of mine invited me over to listen to some George Carlin records. Before we started, he put a pizza in the oven for us to eat later. About an hour into listening and laughing at the foul language coming out of the stereo, my friend sprang up, started cussing up a storm, and ran out of the room. I followed him out, having no idea what he was going on about. Then he ran into the kitchen, flung open the oven door, and yelled, "Damn it, I knew I was gonna do that!"

                        Surprisingly, the pizza was actually salvageable. We just had to peel the top layer of burned cheese off of it.
                        Sometimes life is altered.
                        Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
                        Uneasy with confrontation.
                        Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

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                        • #13
                          Speaking of pizza, at a party a friend heated up several pizzas in his oven. He put the pizzas on serving plates and put the pile of pizza boxes out near his trash cans. His wife came home a few minutes later and asked why there was a stack of burning pizza boxes outside. It was a delayed reaction from the oven heat.
                          "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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                          • #14
                            Quoth MadMike View Post
                            Surprisingly, the pizza was actually salvageable. We just had to peel the top layer of burned cheese off of it.
                            Burnt cheese is a delicacy.

                            You know what I really like is the parmesan chips you can get at Whole Foods. It's like someone was picking the burnt cheese from the pan they used to cook their Tony's and they were like, "I could go for a whole container of this."
                            Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

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