There is no romaine lettuce: An open letter

[csquared]

The Romaine empire has fallen.
Caesar is dead.
Lettuce pray.

*shamelessly stolen from Facebook*

[Monterey Jack]

Rebecca Romaine-Lettuce.

[RealUnimportant]

Damn you science, why haven't you created GMO lettuce that can grow a full head over the weekend?

[Smapti]

Can I have some romaine lettuce now?

How about now?

Now?

Whyyyyy not?

Latest I heard is the CDC might revise/narrow their findings on Monday.

In which case, we still wouldn't have any romaine until Wednesday.

Could I interest you in a wedge salad? The secret ingredient is a shit-ton of bacon and bleu cheese.

[gerund]

Can I have some romaine lettuce now?

How about now?

Now?

Whyyyyy not?

[Kagato]

♪♫ Yes, we have no bananas romaine lettuce... ♪♫

Surprised it took this long for the following to get put up:

[catcul]

Why thaw it? They have this nifty deep-fry thingie, so who needs to thaw anything?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gn895y4wkc

"My smile brightens any room."
"So will your immolation."

[Jay 2K Winger]

♪♫ Yes, we have no bananas romaine lettuce... ♪♫

[RealUnimportant]

Why thaw it? They have this nifty deep-fry thingie, so who needs to thaw anything?

Where's the dingle-dangle?

[Nunavut Pants]

PS: No, we don't have any 25-pound turkeys left. It's 11:30 PM on the night before Thanksgiving. How are you even going to thaw it in time for dinner?

Why thaw it? They have this nifty deep-fry thingie, so who needs to thaw anything?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gn895y4wkc

[MadMike]

I saw the opposite problem yesterday when my wife and I went out to lunch at Wendy's. Just about everyone in front of us was ordering their burgers and sandwiches "without lettuce." They use iceberg lettuce on the burgers and sandwiches, and I think the only thing that didn't have available was the salads. And there was a sign on the door stating this. Still, I guess it's better that people weren't taking chances.

[EricKei]

Whaddya mean "no salad"??? There's potatoes -- they're veggies -- that are normally drenched in liquid fat (melted butter). See? SALAD!

[earl colby pottinger]

And you know

If you had romaine lettuce anywhere, they would insist on eating it no matter what the warnings you give, then when they get sick they would try to sue you for selling it.

[workerbee222]

If ever there was a holiday that didn't need lettuce of any kind, it would be Thanksgiving, wouldn't it? Isn't part of the celebration a feast of **seasonal** foods, (the season for lettuce being over sometime in late September, at least in the northern hemisphere)

Even if one had to make a turkey sandwich, and one had to have something green in it, won't fresh spinach do? Especially if it's a turkey club, where the real star is the bacon...

[TheWolfEmperor]

And that old Grinch,
He got an idea and he got it quick,
He squatted in the lettuce patch
And dropped a big...