Temper Tantrum

[AZangel]

I suppose I would have more patience if I had children of my own but I cannot stand it when parents just completely ignore the child bawling and screaming at the top of their lungs because they don't get their way. Let's just say that the bakery is the dept. next to ours and the personnel there was taking a cake order for said customer. I don't know how the woman managed to complete her order over the racket that was going on. I'm surprised the kid in the bakery was able to hear it.

Perhaps a little more patience would be to my benefit but the lady literally let her child scream bloody murder before she even considered wheeling her outside the store. I don't even know that she did that. Any suggestions as to how to ignore the noise?

[PizzaBoy]

Damn, I can't stand it when that happens. It normally happens to me when I answer the phones at Domino's and I can't hear a thing because 1. The customer (or the phone) is speaking too softly or 2. There's a screaming child in the background. This is aggravating since that customer is usually much less patient. Only advice I can give is to try to tune it out. I don't suppose this is a usual thing (or at least I hope it isn't ), so just try to listen the best you can and ask the customer to speak up if necessary. Whatever you do though, don't say anything to them about their screaming children. The last thing you need is to give customers something to complain about.

[Gravekeeper]

If I did that I would have been taken back out to the car....where there are no witnesses......then if and when I was allowed to come back into the store I would be quieter then a mute gazelle in a lion preserve with BBQ sauce on his ass.

[JustADude]

quieter then a mute gazelle in a lion preserve with BBQ sauce on his ass.

Okay, I didn't think the decibel scale went into the negatives...

Actually, completely ignoring the tantrum is how one particular school of child-rearing say you're supposed to do it. You don't give them any validation and they stop tantrum-ing because they figure out it doesn't get them attention OR what they want. I, personally, think it works great... except for the fact that, until it takes effect, everyone around you suffers.

[Will-Mun]

I HAAAAAATE screaming children, and seeing how I have a dislike of children as a whole, thats a big hate.

Especially when people bring babies and infants into movies. Ten times the demerits if it's a movie the child shouldn't be seeing till he's MY age. Oh, you and the hubby can't find a baby sitter? Thats too damn bad! Don't bring your baby into the 5.1 dolby surround sound movie theater when you KNOW the sounds gonna make him cry!

I understand full well the concept of giving no negative attention, bad behavior treated with apathy, no positive or negative attention usually WILL curb the childs desire to do it. But just because YOU decided to spit a spawn from your loins doesn't mean I have to hear the thing wailing in the electronics department!

Generally when I hear a child screaming like he just saw some guy put a 9mm to Santa's head and painted the wall with fat man's grey matter, I don't only hate the child... I hate the PARENT. Maybe it's wrong. But it's freaking annoying!

Of course, those children are like the Angels Choir compared to the children allowed to roam free by their parents, assuming that the clerks will just play babysitter.

[Gurndigarn]

Perhaps a little more patience would be to my benefit but the lady literally let her child scream bloody murder before she even considered wheeling her outside the store. I don't even know that she did that. Any suggestions as to how to ignore the noise?

It's not easy. If it is a regular problem, you might want to talk with your managers about it. Use the phrase "annoys other customers" rather than "bugs the hell out of me", and it's more likely to work.

No matter what they say though, I recommend defending any parents who spank their kids in public (assuming we're talking about "pay attention to me" type spanking, and not "child abuse" type). Based on the reaction I got the one time I had to swat one of my kids in a public place, you would think that I killed and ate babies as a hobby. But years down the road, I've gotten compliments on how well-behaved my kids are. The biggest reason, IMO? I made sure they knew what was socially acceptable and what wasn't. And as they got to where they could understand, I did my best to explain the whys to it, as well. And I never rewarded socially unacceptable behavior.

[Polenicus]

Bleh, I don't have kids, and I honestly don't know the right answer to this one. I'm assuming the kid is having a fit because they don't want to be at the store, aren't getting what they want, etc. Shopping for anything but toys is usually horrifically boring for kids. Hell, it's usually horrifically boring for me.

You could take the kid out of the store... but going home would likely be what they want, and would encourage them to do it again the next time they're tired and want to go home, right? Taking them out of public view for a swat might work, but honestly dragging your kid off to hit them would likely get you in more trouble than just a swat right there if you got caught (Regardless of what form said corporal punishment took). You could ignore them, but then everyone suffers, and probably thinks you're neglecting your kids.

... Yeesh, never really thought about how tough it could be to properly discipline your kids, without incurring the wrath of child services. No wonder some parents cave, even though they know better. Thank god I don't have kids, I'd suck at it.

Kudos to all of you that managed to figure it out!

[Lace Neil Singer]

Actually, completely ignoring the tantrum is how one particular school of child-rearing say you're supposed to do it. You don't give them any validation and they stop tantrum-ing because they figure out it doesn't get them attention OR what they want. I, personally, think it works great... except for the fact that, until it takes effect, everyone around you suffers.

I don't think it works at all in a lot of cases... cuz, the child is getting attention of sorts from all the people tutting and pointing fingers? Maybe not from the parents, but it's still attention and don't think the kid really cares at that age where it comes from as long as they get it.

I say this cuz people used to ask my mum what her secret was in the fact that none of her 4 kids ever grizzled or whined in public; the fact was, my mum hated grizzling and we all knew better than to try it. Also, she hardly ever took us shopping unlike some people do; I hate it when I see mum AND dad carting round 2 bawling brats in a supermarket trolley when surely one could stay home with the kids and the other go shopping alone? Just cuz you've bred doesn't mean you now have to do EVERYTHING together.

[F**kYouForCalling]

I love when one of our SC's call in to do a loan or mortgage application with their child crying and screaming in the background and you can barely hear them as it is.. and then in the middle of the application they PICK UP the screaming baby and set them on their shoulder... with the phone right next to said child...

my ears....they hurt...

[ArenaBoy]

At Whiskeyclone, I used to see a lot of parents bring in their small child (Youngest being a year old IIRC) into Cheez-Whiz basketball games. Every time a Cheez-Whiz game starts, they use a lot of fireworks and pyrotechnics, and fireworks inside a building are loud. I could hear it from outside too. Now what do you think will happen when a small child is exposed to that for the first time?

[Andara Bledin]

Oh, I see those when I go shopping sometimes. Roving tribes that consist of a mother, a father, and a succession of children (the oldest of which is at least old enough to babysit, is usually female, and also is usually the only one that does any sort of parenting... males don't seem to be expecte to do anything like that). The mother and father are with the cart and doing the whole shopping thing; well, the mother is, anyway, while the father just ambles along beside her like he wants to make sure she knows how to shop. The kids, meanwhile, are left to do whatever they feel like, even when the parents can clearly see them.

If I were ever to have managerial power in a shop, any screaming child would be treated exactly the same as a hysterical adult; they (or the parent) would be asked to leave until they were able to be cease being disruptive.

As for callers, I never raise my voice unless the phone line itself is the problem. It doesn't matter what it is, they've got me on speaker phone, there's loud music on their end, there's a caterwauling baby on their end... whatever the reason, if they can't hear my normal speaking voice (and trust me, I speak from the diaphragm, so it's got to be loud for them to not hear me), then that's their problem. My office sells things that are not vital to anyone's life such that they couldn't make the call at a time when conditions are decent.

^-.-^

[digilight]

Theres the school of thought that you should just let the kid scream their head off and get it over with. But if you do that then everyone within a 20 mile radius will want to introduce you to Mr. Combat Boot. Mind you I have 2 kids (3 and 5) so heres how the wife and I handle this. If the kids start to throw a tantrum/scream/act like monkeys (or shoppers mentioned in varius threads) and throw fece's on the walls and at the bystanders then I will simply take them outside and we go sit in the car until all is cooled off. My kids know I will do this, I have no problem doing this. They also know that I will leave a store, sporting event, concert, anything at all with them if they start acting a fool in public.

My philosophy is that I freaken hate parents who will let their kids scream in a restaraunt/store/gun range/whatever and not at least put a little duct tape over the mouth (J/K). And if it pisses me off that much, I'll be damned if I inflict it on someone else.

At home its different, its easier to calm them down, or let them scream themselves horse (doesn't really work, they can go for hours it turns out) but you can calm them down easily if you try.

[bigjimaz]

Any suggestions as to how to ignore the noise?

Don't ignore it.

Pretend you don't know who the kid belongs to.

Then say, "I'm sorry about the noise, Ma'am. Some parents just don't know how to deal with their screaming children."

[AZangel]

that would be one way to go about it except knowing SC's the way we all do, they would take offense because they'd know you were talking about them. Then again, maybe I'm giving the SC way too much credit

[Heksubah]

I witnessed a mother at my local grocery store actually managing to effectively handle a child who was having a temper tantrum. Sadly, it surprised me since so many of them just let the kid scream.

Apparently he was screaming when they came in and she stopped the cart she had him sitting in and adopted a firm, no-nonsense tone.

Mother: I'm sorry, were you not done? Do I need to turn this cart around and take you outside so you can continue screaming? *waits for the child to shake his head no* We do not scream indoors. If you want to behave we can continue. Allright? Okay.