The Tow Files - Rumors of my Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

[csquared]

I like businesses like towing where the idea isn't to retain repeat customers. So you don't have to bow and scrap to arseholes because management tells you to.

The trick is understanding who is customer.

[Argabarga]

I don't have customers, I have merchandise

It's not the place of the merch to tell me where to put it!

[Gravekeeper]

I don't have customers, I have merchandise

That's the spirit.

[Kittykat]

Welcome back Arga!

[Jay 2K Winger]

Well, due to circumstances beyond my control and that need no introduction, the latest round of the Tow Files has been delayed by 2 months of being laid off and 5 more of waiting for enough students to come back to have a customer base again.

Well, that explains the dearth of Arga posts. Glad to see you're still among the land of the upright and breathing.

HOW MANY OTHER TOWERS WERE THERE? WAIT! NO! I'D RATHER NOT KNOW!

THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!

15 minutes and a knock at the door later, our mastermind of crime was calling us to provide his credit card info again, in lieu of becoming a guest of the Commonwealth at one of their many exclusive resorts for the feloniously-inclined.

Tell him what he's won, Don!

An all-expenses paid trip to the world famous Graybar Hotel!

"That means I have IMPORTANT things to do! Too important to be bothered with a permit for just 10 seconds! This is just ridiculous! I HAVE A TIE! SEE?"

Is it wrong of me to imagine Arga going Jackie Chan a la "Who Am I?" on this SIMBA* in training?

(* Self Important Mighty Business Asshole)

If it is wrong... I don't wanna be right.

Both of them started pulling off "Pro Wrestler" victory poses, haunching over and flexing (nonexistent) muscles at me, while croaking like the Macho Man: "OOOH! OOOOH!!! YOU A BIG MAN, HUH? BIIIIIIG MAN! OOOOH!" They continued this odd display all the way to the door to follow their Dear Leader and kept doing it all across the parking lot.....

Is it just me, or is doing a Macho Man impersonation around an impound lot with potentially wrecked cars in it, in bad taste?

Ma'm, This is a Wendy's
...
So, for those of you curious what happens when you train your Level 58 Karen all the way up to level 100, we now have the answer: She Poke'-volves into Mega Karen, demanding the managers of other companies solve her problems or they'll surely all be fired/in big trouble!

The attack was ineffective.

She went full Karen.

You never go full Karen.

Ever wonder why God no longer talks to us? I got a few ideas on that...

He changed his number, and now he goes "New phone, who dis?" if we manage to find it.

*Astronaut Sneaking up on You With Gun Picture Goes Here*

Very sus of you, Arga.

Be Careful What You Wish for, I'll Make Sure You GET It!
This episode stars Sister Stuck-up

She's preparing to become a KAREN. Kid Apparently Raised Entitled & Nasty.

"You said this wouldn't hurt me!"

"I said it wouldn't KILL you, and you'd be surprised what a man can live through..."

One of my favorite technicalities to use in writing when I want to emphasize how nasty someone is about "exact words."

[Ironclad Alibi]

...
Enter, stage right, a man in a suit and tie.
...

The last thing a man in a suit and a tie wants to hear at the impound yard is, "Clyde, Scrap the Caddy."

[ladyjaneinmd]

How did you not burst out with hysterical laughter at the two 'pro wrestling' bros?? You must have admirable self-control. I would have laughed so hard I'd be a teary mess.

[seigus]

(Mornin' Sam, Mornin' Ralph)

Thank you for that.

[mjr]

Both of them started pulling off "Pro Wrestler" victory poses, haunching over and flexing (nonexistent) muscles at me, while croaking like the Macho Man: "OOOH! OOOOH!!! YOU A BIG MAN, HUH? BIIIIIIG MAN! OOOOH!" They continued this odd display all the way to the door to follow their Dear Leader and kept doing it all across the parking lot.....

They think their entrance music is Triple H's entrance, "The Game", by Motorhead, but it's really "Yackety Sax" by Boots Randolph.

[roxtar]

They think their entrance music is Triple H's entrance, "The Game", by Motorhead, but it's really "Yackety Sax" by Boots Randolph.

RIP Lemmy.

[MoonCat]

I love the bitch flavored twatwaffle comment. That's my neighbor, yep.