Dance With the Devil

[GingerBiscuit]

I was singing 'when your evil' while I was stacking shelves yesterday.
He called you a feminist b*tch?
Nothing wrong with being either . I'd rather be a feminist b*tch than a man who's terrified of women and ashamed of his own miniscule genitalia.

[Sliceanddice]

First off my ex who left me (as in packed up one night and left town) after proposing to me tryed to contact me recently.... I ignore him... ive been through more than enough because of him.

Second... omg... that last was just tooo perfect....

[Princess-Snake]

Earlier that day, I was singing The Cell Block Tango at my school and all the guys avoided me. The girls however came closer to me. My friend later told me it's because most of those girls were having guy trouble and were getting ideas on how to get rid of them. Oh my. Then, as I'm walking to Wendy's (it's very close to the school) I see my ex there. He comes towards me and I start singing Karma by Alicia Keys. He can see I'm pissed, so he backs off slowly. (I believe he still has the scars from the last time he pissed me off) Knowing that idiot however, he'll be back.

And fma fanatic, thanks! Dark Danny Phantom is my favorite villian! I'm upset they cancelled Danny Phantom too. I sang the theme song all day to my friends' annoyance. They all said that if I sang "Yo, Danny Fenton he was just 14" one more time they'd take away my The Ultimate Enemy tape (I taped that show) and burn it. So I sang something else, but still similar:
"A kid who's life was changed
Molecules rearranged
Ghosts are so deranged
He's gonna catch 'em all 'cause he's Danny Phantom"
This one is the original theme song to Danny Phantom. A rock tune instead of a rap tune. My friends groaned. They'd better get used to it. When I rule the world in ten years, that's all I'm singing.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Cell Block Tango rocks.

Heres' something your detractors might like better:

Life is Hard, but Life is Hardest When You're Dumb

Life is hard, but life is hardest when you're dumb
No joie de vivre, just endless hours of tedium
With a negative IQ,
You'll be lonely, sad, and blue
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you're dumb

Life is hard, but life is hardest when you're dumb
You wait for years but inspiration never comes
Thoughts you don't have remain unheard
'Cause you can not find the words
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you're dumb

Life is hard, but life is hardest when you're dumb
Between your ears a dark and silent vac-u-um
If there's a void behind your face,
Why not rent out the vacant space
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you're dumb

Life is hard, but life is hardest when you're dumb
Why not just lay back and smoke a bowl of opium
If being stupid is your fate,
Well just relax 'cause it's too late
Life is hard, but life is hardest when you're dumb

[Polenicus]

There is one and only one song that runs through my head when I read posts on this board and see some of the bizarre things people (Customers and otherwise) do.

"Dare to be Stupid" by Weird Al.

Put down that chainsaw and listen to me!
It's time for us to join in the fight!
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys,
It's time to let the bedbugs bite!

You better put all your eggs in one basket,
You better count your chickens before they hatch!
You'd better sell some wine before it's time,
You'd better find yourself an itch to scratch

You'd better squeeze all the Charmin you can,
When Mr. Wipple's not around!
Stick your head in the microwave,
And get yourself a tan!

Talk,
With your mouth full!
Bite,
The hand that feeds you!
Bite,
Off more than you can chew!
What can you do?

DARE TO BE STUPID!

Take,
Some wooden nickles!
Look,
For Mr. Goodbar!
Get,
Your mojo working now!
I'll show you how!

YOU CAN DARE TO BE STUPID!

You can turn the other cheek!
You can just give up the ship!
You can eat a bunch of sushi and forget to leave a tip!

DARE TO BE STUPID!
C'MON AND DARE TO BE STUPID!
IT'S SO EASY TO DO!
WE'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOU! LET'S GO!

It's time to,
Make a mountain out of a molehill,
So can I have a volunteer?
There's no more time for crying over spilled milk,
Now it's time for crying in your beer!

Settle down raise a family, join the PTA,
Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevolet,
Then party 'till you're broke and they drag you away!
It's okay!

YOU CAN DARE TO BE STUPID!

It's like spitting on a fish!
It's like barking up a tree!
It's like I said you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free!

DARE TO BE STUPID!
WHY DON'T YOU DARE TO BE STUPID!
IT'S SO EASY TO DO!
WE'RE ALL WAITING FOR YOU! LET'S GO!

Burn your candle at both ends,
Look a gift horse in the mouth!
Mashed potatoes can be your friends!

You can be a Coffee Achiever,
You can sit around the house and watch 'Leave it to Beaver'!
The Future's up to you!
So what you gonna do?

DARE TO BE STUPID!
DARE TO BE STUPID!

What did I say?

DARE TO BE STUPID!

Tell me what did I say?

DARE TO BE STUPID!

It's all right!

DARE TO BE STUPID!

We can be stupid all night!

DARE TO BE STUPID!

C'mon join the crowd!

DARE TO BE STUPID!

Shout it out loud!

DARE TO BE STUPID!

I can't hear you!

DARE TO BE STUPID!

Okay I can hear you now!
Let's go!

DARE TO BE STUPID! (Repeats until end)

[Andara Bledin]

We've gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games.
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.

I love that song!

Of course, there's always this one:

I ache for the touch of your lips, dear
But much more for the touch of your whips, dear
You can raise welts
Like nobody else
As we dance to the masochism tango

Let our love be a flame, not an ember
Say its me that you want to dismember
Blacken my eye
Set fire to my tie
As we dance to the masochism tango

At your command
Before you here I stand
My heart is in my hand (ecch!)
Its here that I must be
My heart entreats
Just hear those savage beats
And go put on your cleats
And come and trample me
Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany
Thats why Im in such exquisite agony

My soul is on fire
Its aflame with desire
Which is why I perspire
When we tango

You caught my nose
In your left castanet, love
I can feel the pain yet, love
Ev'ry time I hear drums
And I envy the rose
That you held in your teeth, love
With the thorns underneath, love
Sticking into your gums

Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches
The last time I needed twenty stitches
To sew up the gash
That you made with your lash
As we danced to the masochism tango

Bash in my brain
And make me scream with pain
Then kick me once again
And say well never part
I know too well
Im underneath your spell
So, darling, if you smell
Something burning, its my heart
Excuse me!

Take your cigarette from its holder
And burn your initials in my shoulder
Fracture my spine
And swear that youre mine
As we dance to the masochism tango

That ought to get a few looks around the shop. *snicker*

What can I say? "He had it coming!"

*sings along*

He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

^-.-^

[Emmeileia]

Tom Leher, Voltaire *and* Chicago? Woohoo!

My boss sings the christmas carol 'Silver Bells'. All year. In our very quiet office...It rocks.

At one point I had headphones on and strated singing along to KMFDM 'Anarchy'. Now people avoid my cubicle. What?

[Noelegy]

There is one and only one song that runs through my head when I read posts on this board and see some of the bizarre things people (Customers and otherwise) do.

"Dare to be Stupid" by Weird Al.

That song is currently on my iPod. It's from the "Transformers" (the animated version) soundtrack.

One of my best friends in high school was a geekboy named Dan who shared my love of comics and cartoons. He sat next to me in band. We kept our music in these large folders with stripes on them that I think had been given to us by some music company.

Dan and I also shared a liking of writing song lyrics all over things (book covers, etc.), and he gifted me with the lyrics to "Dare to be Stupid" on my band folder. For some reason, my mother was VERY offended by the "stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan" line.

*sigh* Dan now lives less than 20 miles from me, but we fell out of touch and I haven't seen him in about 6 years.

[auntiem]

Fellow Tom Leher fans! I thought I was alone in the world (or at least alone in my generation).

We don't have hold music at work, so when people complain about it I offer to sing - and start in - they quickly decide that silence is much prefered.

[CrazedClerk]

I would've been so tempted to start singing "highway to hell" after that

[Gawdzillers]

Here's one to sing at the post office:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZgE22p-t_g

[MinimaMagistra]

For the original post, I'd like to say that that was a beautiful sequence of events. Both the giggle I couldn't hold when you burst into Voltaire, and the *snrk* for the picture-perfect image of the weirdo walking into the door.

For those no-sense-of-humor little old ladies with the cross stuck in their craw, try this:

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

I destroyed a bond of friendship and respect
Between the only people left who'd even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

I look like Jesus, so they say
But Mr. Jesus is very far away
Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true
That you love me and I love me

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me Your Highness
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"
Yes a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"

And in general, I like to think that this is a particularly offensive (and gloriously entertaining) song:

Oh that blood it makes me want to squeal
I just love clubbing baby seals
All that blood it makes me want to squeal
I just love... clubbing baby seals. Clubbing baby seals.

Sealskin purse, it sure is nice
But it doesn't compare to blood on the ice...

Can't remember the rest.