Gimme Gimme Gimme!

[customersruinmylife]

A couple of gems from last night.

Ow, my brain

I felt my IQ drop several points after dealing with this guy. He was the typical chav, but I had never encountered someone so stupid!


Chav: *reads off menu* What's a....mix...er?
Me: A mixer?
Chav: Yes, it says drinks come with a...free...mix...er, whats a mix...er?
Me: Well, a mixer is something that you can mix with your spirits. So if you were to buy a shot of vodka, you could get a free dash of lemonade, coke, tonic, pineapple juice...
Chav: Red bull?
Me: Unfortunately red bull is not included in the deal.
Chav: Can I have a double vodka red bull with a free mixer?
Me: Um...OK, but the red bull isn't free you know.
Chav: It says free mix...er!
Me: Yes but it also tells you which ones are free, and red bull isn't.
Chav: Fine then! I'll have a vodka coke and a steak!
Me: OK, what kind of steak would you like and how would you like it cooked?
Chav: Steak.
Me: OK, rump? Sirloin? Gammon? Rib Eye?
Chav: Steak.
Me: OK *hits the rump button because its the cheapest and this guy obviously can't afford much better* How would you like it cooked?
Chav: Steak.
Me: OK, *hits medium button* Peas or salad?
Chav: Can't you just give me a steak?
Me: OK. *I hit random buttons and decide for him* OK, that will be £XX.XX.
Chav: *pays*
Me: Ok, your meal..
Chav: Where is it?
Me: What?
Chav: Steak!
Me: Well, they need to cook it you know.
Chav: You mean I have to wait!!

He walked away. I felt ill.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

A customer came up to the bar. He was a regular, I recognised him. He was quite a respectable man as well.

Me: Hey, what can I get you mate?
SC: Well, I was actually wondering what you could get me!
Me: OK...
SC: I'm actually wondering if you have any alcohol you don't want, or don't sell a lot of.
Me: Not as far as I know.
SC: Nothing that's out of date?
Me: No, nothing I'm afraid.
SC: Nothing??
Me: Nothing.
SC: Nothing you don't sell a lot of? Bottles of spirits that have been lying around for a while? You're telling me you have NOTHING?
Me: YES, that is exactly what I'm telling you!
SC: What am I supposed to do?
Me: *I was annoyed* How about BUYING some alcohol.
SC: But I came here hoping you would help me out!
Me: I'm sorry, but if we did have any alcohol lying around that we didn't want, I can absolutely guarantee you that the staff would get their hands on it long before a customer.
SC: Tut! I figured that!

He stormed off.

[cinema guy]

Chav: Where is it?
Me: What?
Chav: Steak!
Me: Well, they need to cook it you know.
Chav: You mean I have to wait!!

It make you wonder if they have to work hard to be that stupid.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"SC: But I came here hoping you would help me out!"

Yeah. Alchoholism sucks.

[Sliceanddice]

my brain hurts now.

[Becks]

Well, after reading those stories, I feel the need to buy a whole pallet of Advil/Tylenol/whatever to keep on hand. I hope my brain recovers.

[air914]

Wow Steak Guy must have been watching the Jetsons a lot or something (is that show even on anymore?) ordering steak and expecting it to appear magically out of the blue..... maybe he's just used to fast food that's been sitting on a warmer forever and is already ready....... but wow. just wow.

And just why does the guy think you would give HIM the liquor you didn't want? And he was looking for "out of date" liquor?? Does liquor go out of date?? I'm not well versed in my spirits But if it does, wouldn't you have to throw it down the drain or something like that? You couldn't give a customer food that's past its date..... just wow again.

[Shabo]

Some liquor does, like beer, but other liquors are usually good for years as long as they are unopened. After they are exposed to air again? Who knows. I think it would depend on the liquor.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"Does liquor go out of date?? "

Not around me, it doesn't.

No, seriously, I think it depends on the booze. Beer goes stale if you let it lie around long enough, I think. Wine goes bad if it's been opened. I think Champagne can go stale. Hard liquor, I'm pretty sure does not go bad, even opened. Same for liquors. I mean, within reason, of course, but I know whiskey and rum and even port and sherry can hang out a looooong time without suffering.

[mariamousie1]

"Steak! Steak! Just give me steak!"
I'd give him a stake through the forehead.

[Rapscallion]

It make you wonder if they have to work hard to be that stupid.

Guy's a chav. Chavs rarely work

More to the point, chavs are famous for not rating real food unless in the hospital or jail, and if they have to prepare food for themselves then they tend to go for pre-prepared sandwiches, cans of cheap lager, or pot noodles.

Fortunately, they're slowly killing themselves. Unfortunately, it's too slowly.

Rapscallion

[wagegoth]

Fortunately, they're slowly killing themselves. Unfortunately, it's too slowly.

Yes, if only they would do it before they propagated.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I do know that Sambuca goes bad. We had a bottle (the clear kind; the black is better anyway) in the cabinet for I don't know how long and my dad had some and it was not good. I didn't try it but he hung onto it for some reason...I guess cuz he's a guy and guys like to do that whole "Ew, gross this is bad! Hey, taste this, it's horrible!" thing.

[Seshat]

Alcohol's a preservative. If there's enough alcohol in your booze, and nothing that alcohol doesn't effectively preserve, it'll keep forever.

[Imogene]

SC: Nothing you don't sell a lot of? Bottles of spirits that have been lying around for a while? You're telling me you have NOTHING?

Bottles that have 'been lying around, collecting dust', tend to go for quite a higher price than 'Nothing', ass munch. It's called 'aging', and, particularly for wines, as I'm sure you're looking for, they get more expensive.

[Kara]

Me: What?
Chav: Steak!

You should have fired right back at him. Just ten minutes of the two of you going back and forth "Steak?" "Steak!" "Steak." Steak?" "STEAK!!!"

That's a great arbitrary response I'm going to start using when people aren't paying attention to me while they're talking. "Uh huh, ok, yeah, steak, uh huh..."

SC: Nothing that's out of date?

Okay, that is a drinking problem.