Rude,annoying ignorant SC jokes, Please list them.

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

What stupid,annoying jokes do you hear SC's say? I know a couple

#1 If it doesn't scan or if I can't find the barcode than it's free: Down here I f*cking have to put up with this stupid joke over and ove, I look for a barcode on a product and they say "ha ha it's free" . I one time told a customer that I was sick and tired of hearing that and it wasn't funny. I feel like telling them that of course it's free if you want security to come after you. AAAAAAARGH!!

#2 (I just made those) when I swiftly check the bill: I don't hear this bullsh!t much but back in the day I've been hearing so much it pissed me off. when I hear it I just ignore them or I feel like saying "okay I won't take it then it's the law, do you have anything else to pay?"

[RammsteinGirl]

I agree with you.. those jokes do get annoying. But I don't think most people say them with the intent to annoy us.. I think they are genuinely trying to joke around. I'd rather them joke around than stand there and huff and puff like so many others do.

[i4wolves]

#1 If it doesn't scan or if I can't find the barcode than it's free

I know the feeling. I am so sick of that joke that finally I tell people who say that "If I can't ring it up then you can't have it." That usually shuts them up.

[Rubystars]

One time this guy started in with the lame jokes and I sort of grimaced... and went on with the order, and he said "Aren't you going to laugh?" I said "Oh, that was a joke?" and he said "I can go speak to your manager!" I said "I can call them for you if you want." Then they thankfully decided not to ask me to do that.

My least favorite is when I'm waiting for customers, redlining, and I'm watching for them while I'm thinking about various things, and they'll walk up and say "Boo!" or something else irritating like that to try to "wake" me up. Idiots. I'm already woken up, waiting for them. It's really disrespectful and not funny. They especially like to do this when I'm looking in the other direction for a customer to come and they sneak up on my other side and get into my personal space. Thank God I haven't hit one yet.

I also hate it when they walk up and say "You look bored! Let me put you to work!" Um, I don't mind not having customers, I really don't. What's boring is these mind-numbing jokes.

My least favorite is "Working hard or hardly working?" This is almost always followed by some kind of hyuk hyuk laugh, like they really told a good one there.
It implies that the job you do is worthless and that you don't have to work hard at it. I don't think it's funny at all.

[uknz76]

Thank God I haven't hit one yet.

I came very close once, people saying dumb s**t I can deal with, but I was busy doing something (working!) once and the idiot grabbed my arm to get my attention.

My fist stopped about a 6" from his face.

If someone touches / grabs me from my blind side I have a hostile reflex.

Not much more I can say about that.

[Gravekeeper]

The one I get all the time on graveyard that peeves me off to no end is "Oh, did I wake you up? haha!"

[Pinkie]

Me: Is there anything else that I can help you with today?

Them:"Yeah, pay my bill for me!" Or "Give me this weeks lottery numbers"

So not funny....

[Boozy]

One time this guy started in with the lame jokes and I sort of grimaced... and went on with the order, and he said "Aren't you going to laugh?" I said "Oh, that was a joke?" and he said "I can go speak to your manager!" I said "I can call them for you if you want." Then they thankfully decided not to ask me to do that.

I agree with Rammstein Girl for the most part - most customers are only trying to be friendly when they make a joke, so the polite thing is to laugh even if its sometimes painful to do so. As far as SCs go, wanna-be comedians are way down my list.

But this guy really takes the cake. He wants to talk to your manager because you didn't laugh at his joke?!

There's nothing in my job description that says I have to laugh at your dumbass jokes and make you feel smart. If you have self-esteem issues, see a therapist. Don't bully an underpaid cashier.

[HALFHUMANHALFZOMBIE]

One time this guy started in with the lame jokes and I sort of grimaced... and went on with the order, and he said "Aren't you going to laugh?" I said "Oh, that was a joke?" and he said "I can go speak to your manager!" I said "I can call them for you if you want." Then they thankfully decided not to ask me to do that.

Talking to a manager because you wouldn't laugh at his joke? I can't see how that would get you in trouble. It would be a pathetic way to get fired but geez!!

[BookstoreEscapee]

Not really a joke, but I hate it when people tell me to smile - especially random people who are just walking by and I'm not even helping them. There are days when I really don't want to smile - I'm upset about something, I don't feel well, whatever...I can still be polite and pleasant, I don't need to be grinning like an idiot to give good service. And then sometimes I am feeling just fine but there's no one around and I'm just going about my day, sorting paperwork or whatever (I usually got this one when I was at cashwrap for some reason), not frowning, just neutral, and some asshat happens by..."Smile!" So I just go ! Happy? Now go away!

I have been known to say "You look bored" but only when they really do look bored. I also have never said "let me put you to work!"

[Princess-Snake]

I hate asshats that come into my line and when I'm ringing them up, point to my abnormally large stomach, and say in that annoying sing-song voice, "Looks like someone needs to go on a diet." or "And that's what happens when you eat too much junk food." Then they see my IV and manage to put two and two together and figure out that maybe my huge stomach has something to do with a medical condition. Then they'll say, "Oh. I didn't see that backpack thingy on you." or just stop making eye contact with me. I mean really. What the hell is wrong with people?! *in annoying sing-song voice* Looks like someone needs some lessons from Miss Manners.

[Marxfan]

"Smile!!" Grr, I hate that! Look, buddy, why don't you trying showing up to work at 5 a.m., work at the drive-thru with a bunch of irate, over-tired asshole customers, do chores that you hate, have over-tired co-workers criticize your every move, never get anything done because the damn drive-thru customers won't let up, and see how easy it is for you to smile?????

[Great Unknown]

Dumb jokes and the retorts that thwart them

(1) Working hard or hardly working?
My answer: Yes! (Some of the customers don't get the difference between OR and XOR, so I take this opportunity to enlighten them in logic.)

(2) (This one takes a bit of explanation)
Nosy customer wanted to know why my laptop was on the counter. I told him I was finishing some homework. He asked, grinning, if I was studying to get my GED.

I could barely stop my fist from crossing the counter to greet his chin. I take my college career seriously, and an assault record really wouldn't help to further my education.

[Marxfan]

(2) (This one takes a bit of explanation)
Nosy customer wanted to know why my laptop was on the counter. I told him I was finishing some homework. He asked, grinning, if I was studying to get my GED.

What an asshole! I admire your restraint, but I also wouldn't have blamed you if you socked him!

[RammsteinGirl]

I hate asshats that come into my line and when I'm ringing them up, point to my abnormally large stomach, and say in that annoying sing-song voice, "Looks like someone needs to go on a diet." or "And that's what happens when you eat too much junk food." Then they see my IV and manage to put two and two together and figure out that maybe my huge stomach has something to do with a medical condition. Then they'll say, "Oh. I didn't see that backpack thingy on you." or just stop making eye contact with me. I mean really. What the hell is wrong with people?! *in annoying sing-song voice* Looks like someone needs some lessons from Miss Manners.

Oh.. my.. god. I cannot believe someone would be so RUDE as to actually say that to you! I would NEVER in a million years even think about saying something like that to someone!! In that case, you definately have a right to be rude right back to them.. that is just uncalled for. WTF is wrong with people..?