Thirteen Idiots (long)

[BlaqueKatt]

Ok first off send this lady to blaque kitty because im sure she would be helpful.

hmmm helpful to me or as in I would help her run screaming for the nearest exit?

the latter I can do with a look, the former-I like being evyl-it's a requirement for being one rung under supervisor in a call center.

Katt-owner of the patented kittie glare of death and destruction.

[lordlundar]

11. Guy comes in and tries to return a box of condoms. He says they didn't work. Enough said.

And the gene pool just got even more tainted.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Now then, did you figure it out before the extra hints?

Ever since I saw that show whenever I see Hot Pockets I sing it in that squeaky little voice he does...<Hot Pockets>

[Princess-Snake]

I just have to ask, is your store near the funny farm?

Sometimes I wonder that myself. We always seem to get the crazies. And as for the beads, I told one of my friends who can actually see auras, and she said that I did not have a dark and evil aura, the lady was a loon, and the beads was just an old necklace. Nothing special about them. So, I now have something to add to my jewelry collection. Woo-hoo!

[Becks]

3. Lady comes in and wants to return a bag of chips because when she opened them most of them were broken. Yeah, we don't do returns because of broken chips. She leaves after she rolls her eyes and lets out a huge sigh.

Since I have a tendency to be cynical, I always expect chips to be broken. I do happy dances when I find whole chips.

[XCashier]

Uuuuhh, wow. I don't know whether to say "what a psycho" or "what a crappy sister".

I'd add, "what a cheapskate sister!" Seriously, who gives a box of Macaroni and Cheese to someone for their birthday?!

[blas]

Unfortunately TPing is totally illegal otherwise I'd do it more often than on Canada Day and Halloween.

[Tithera]

9. Not sucky. Just odd. A guy comes up into my lane with literally 30 packs of toilet paper, each pack containing 12 rolls. When I looked at all this, he said, "Don't ask." I didn't.

Around here, that's actually common. It's called tping. My friend has 20 to 30 rolls of tp in his trunk, just waiting for the perfect night.

I was actually in the parking lot of our local grocery when 3 seniors from mys chool came out with 3 packs of 12 rolls. I know them and I knew exactly what they were up to. The clerks, when I walked in and asked what they thought, just shook their heads, grinning. "Guys."

[Imogene]

Jim Gaffigan rocks.

Now then, did you figure it out before the extra hints?

[ReverendBSB]

"What? Does he only eat Hot Pockets all day long? He must live in the bathroom."

...

Would it help if I said, "This guy's really pale. I didn't know he was gonna be so pale. He looks like a girl in that shirt. Why's he whispering? I wonder if he's wearing a thing."
That should be enough hints.

Jim Gaffigan rocks.

[JustADude]

7. A woman comes into my lane. I ring her up and she stares at me. She then says that I might look cute and cuddly on the outside, but I have an evil aura on the inside and it's eating my positive energy. She thinks an evil spirit or demon is taking control of my body and using it to gain into the human world. She then leaves a beaded necklace on my counter and tells me to take it to ward off the demons. Then she left while I'm still trying to figure what the hell just happened.

I bet she mistook the disorder you've got for a demon without bothering to check, or notice the IV pack. People like that are the ones that keep the rest of the people who can see auras from being taken seriously.

On the beads, I'm with Slice. Make sure they're not evil themselves and, if it's all good, keep 'em.

[Imogene]

9. Not sucky. Just odd. A guy comes up into my lane with literally 30 packs of toilet paper, each pack containing 12 rolls. When I looked at all this, he said, "Don't ask." I didn't.

"What? Does he only eat Hot Pockets all day long? He must live in the bathroom."

...

Would it help if I said, "This guy's really pale. I didn't know he was gonna be so pale. He looks like a girl in that shirt. Why's he whispering? I wonder if he's wearing a thong."
That should be enough hints.

[SuperB]

It's a full moon.

[Marxfan]

7. A woman comes into my lane. I ring her up and she stares at me. She then says that I might look cute and cuddly on the outside, but I have an evil auora on the inside and it's eating my positive energy. She thinks an evil spirit or demon is taking control of my body and using it to gain into the human world. She then leaves a beaded necklace on my counter and tells me to take it to ward off the demons. Then she left while I'm still trying to figure what the hell just happened.

What a fucking loon! I hope you got rid of those beads! Boogity-boogity!!

1. A woman comes in, looks around, walks up to me, and asks me where the bathing suit section is. We are a grocery store. We sell food and toiletries, not bathing suits.

I used to work in a grocery store, too, and would get questions like that all. The. Time.

5. A guy comes in and returns a box of frozen macaroni and cheese because his sister gave it to him for his birthday, and he's lactose intolerant. Not sucky really. Just weird.

Uuuuhh, wow. I don't know whether to say "what a psycho" or "what a crappy sister".

[Sliceanddice]

7. A woman comes into my lane. I ring her up and she stares at me. She then says that I might look cute and cuddly on the outside, but I have an evil auora on the inside and it's eating my positive energy. She thinks an evil spirit or demon is taking control of my body and using it to gain into the human world. She then leaves a beaded necklace on my counter and tells me to take it to ward off the demons. Then she left while I'm still trying to figure what the hell just happened.

Ok first off send this lady to blaque kitty because im sure she would be helpful. second make sure the beads aren't like evil (get out the sage) and if all is good... hey you just got free magic beads woohooo!!!

13. Guy comes in, constantly looks over his shoulder, looks like he's trying to hide from something. Comes up to me and asks in a barely audible whisper where the jalepeno peppers were so he could use them to kill the aliens from Saturn that have taken over his house and are using it as a command center. I didn't know that jalepenos were useful weapons against E.T.

...... dude..... i want him to meet my mom (she loves the jalepenos...)