One day, at the computer shop one of girls sold a brand new PC to a woman and the woman wanted installed and tested at her place. That is fair enough. I looked at my planner and the earliest I could do this was on the Friday afternoon. She was Ok with it. She gave the instructions how to get there as she was living in the country side.
Come Friday afternoon, drove over to that town called Ennistymon (west coast of Ireland), took left at the grotto (don't ask) and then second lane on the right and... Ended up in front of a lake!!
Ok, that's not going to well.
Drove back, couldn't see any other lane but then saw one in the woods, so I took it drove for a mile in the woods and saw a kind of farm. Stopped. Knocked on the door and the woman was there with her husband. I was quite happy that I found the right place. They were nice people, offered me coffee. I installed the PC, worked fine then came to the point of the internet connection the policy was to leave the customer choose the ISP he wanted and then only we would setup the PC for email and connection. The PC came with a bundle of software and the woman decided that they would take the week end to check the various ISPs, prices and product and then they would give me a call on the Monday. I said OK, that was fine by me.
Monday morning in the office and shop. I was wandering around the secretary (quite cute) when I saw a car arriving. The woman was there with the husband and the full PC and some other younger guy. Sounded like troubles. They got into the shop and it went that way:
ME: Hi, is there a problem with the PC?
HER: No it is working fine, we just couldn't figure out what ISP to choose and we would like to ask you a few questions.
ME: Oh? OK. (Why the hell did you bring the whole machine then??)
HER: (Showing the husband) You know my husband?
ME: Hum... Yeah.
HER: (Showing the other guy) And this is my son.
ME: Hi there.
I have to specify something at this point. I have nothing against Goth people I even think that some girls are really cute in this style. But you have to remember that it is rural Ireland we are talking about here. All pig farmers!! So this guy (the son) is a Goth pig farmer, long black coat, black nail varnish, black hair, make up, black lipstick but ... Green wellies.
I didn't laugh, I staid professional.
It took me about an hour to go through the whole ISP thingy. It was like we say in France, peeing in a violin, she didn't have a clue what I was talking about. So at the end I decided for her because I had some work to do and she was waisting my time. So we went for a non free ISP, so she had to ring them and gave her credit card details and stuff. While she was doing that, I started to setup the PC so I could set Internet explorer and Outlook. The son came to me and started to llok at what I was doing. As a professional I started a conversation with him:
ME: Hi there, so what do you do? (You know, like, go to university or work or pig farm...)
HIM: I write songs
ME: I see
HIM: I have one on me, you want to see it?
ME: Why not (after all I have nothing better to do, well maybe apart fixing computers and shit!!)
So he pull a piece of paper from his pocket and give it to me.
Oh my god!! (And I'm an atheist!!)
First thing there was little drawings of people being hanged all around the sheet of paper. Then the song...
Well the song was about him killing his parent in various bloody ways, decapitations, gunshots, torture, etc...
Nice guy.
The mother comes back. I give the song back to the son (I don't want to see this shit ever again!!). She tells me that there is a problem with the credit card and that the husband has to go in town to the bank to fix it.
Great!
More time wasting, at this stage the secretary and various sales people are betting on what time I will blow a fuse and tell them to sod off. Anyway, making small conversation with her. I can't look at the son right now, I think this guy is a bit too disturbing for my taste.
The husband though that it would be a good idea to stop in town after going to the bank to have food and a few pints, meaning that he comes back half pissed but credit card problem fixed. The woman start arguing with him for about 20 minutes out loud, every one in shop is in tears laughing. I am not, fumes are coming out of my ears. So she tells him to go and sober up in the car.
Ok, so she ring the ISP. Get her email address I start to setup the PC and then she says:
HER: I have to go out for 5 minutes, can you keep an eye on my son?
ME: Er... Hum... Yeah sure.
Ok, the PC is setup, back in the box and the woman is still not back. I thought "screw this I have lots of work to do, let's get on with it!". So I did. The woman came back 45 minutes later, I told her that the PC was setup, just plug it and she is on. Then, this happens:
HER: Where is my son?
ME: (Shit I've lost the murderer!!!) Well, uh...
HER: (Shouting) Where is my son!! I asked you to keep an eye on him!! Where is he??
ME: (POP!!! That is the fuse blowing) I don't fucking know where your freaking son is!! He's at least fucking 21 years old!! He can walk around can he?
As I said that I actually saw him walking outside.
ME: There he is your fucking son! And you know what? Maybe you should ask him to show you his latest song!! That way, next time you lose him make sure it stays that way!!
She went cursing and all that but never saw her again.
I wonder if she is still alive?
Come Friday afternoon, drove over to that town called Ennistymon (west coast of Ireland), took left at the grotto (don't ask) and then second lane on the right and... Ended up in front of a lake!!
Ok, that's not going to well.
Drove back, couldn't see any other lane but then saw one in the woods, so I took it drove for a mile in the woods and saw a kind of farm. Stopped. Knocked on the door and the woman was there with her husband. I was quite happy that I found the right place. They were nice people, offered me coffee. I installed the PC, worked fine then came to the point of the internet connection the policy was to leave the customer choose the ISP he wanted and then only we would setup the PC for email and connection. The PC came with a bundle of software and the woman decided that they would take the week end to check the various ISPs, prices and product and then they would give me a call on the Monday. I said OK, that was fine by me.
Monday morning in the office and shop. I was wandering around the secretary (quite cute) when I saw a car arriving. The woman was there with the husband and the full PC and some other younger guy. Sounded like troubles. They got into the shop and it went that way:
ME: Hi, is there a problem with the PC?
HER: No it is working fine, we just couldn't figure out what ISP to choose and we would like to ask you a few questions.
ME: Oh? OK. (Why the hell did you bring the whole machine then??)
HER: (Showing the husband) You know my husband?
ME: Hum... Yeah.
HER: (Showing the other guy) And this is my son.
ME: Hi there.
I have to specify something at this point. I have nothing against Goth people I even think that some girls are really cute in this style. But you have to remember that it is rural Ireland we are talking about here. All pig farmers!! So this guy (the son) is a Goth pig farmer, long black coat, black nail varnish, black hair, make up, black lipstick but ... Green wellies.
I didn't laugh, I staid professional.
It took me about an hour to go through the whole ISP thingy. It was like we say in France, peeing in a violin, she didn't have a clue what I was talking about. So at the end I decided for her because I had some work to do and she was waisting my time. So we went for a non free ISP, so she had to ring them and gave her credit card details and stuff. While she was doing that, I started to setup the PC so I could set Internet explorer and Outlook. The son came to me and started to llok at what I was doing. As a professional I started a conversation with him:
ME: Hi there, so what do you do? (You know, like, go to university or work or pig farm...)
HIM: I write songs
ME: I see
HIM: I have one on me, you want to see it?
ME: Why not (after all I have nothing better to do, well maybe apart fixing computers and shit!!)
So he pull a piece of paper from his pocket and give it to me.
Oh my god!! (And I'm an atheist!!)
First thing there was little drawings of people being hanged all around the sheet of paper. Then the song...
Well the song was about him killing his parent in various bloody ways, decapitations, gunshots, torture, etc...
Nice guy.
The mother comes back. I give the song back to the son (I don't want to see this shit ever again!!). She tells me that there is a problem with the credit card and that the husband has to go in town to the bank to fix it.
Great!
More time wasting, at this stage the secretary and various sales people are betting on what time I will blow a fuse and tell them to sod off. Anyway, making small conversation with her. I can't look at the son right now, I think this guy is a bit too disturbing for my taste.
The husband though that it would be a good idea to stop in town after going to the bank to have food and a few pints, meaning that he comes back half pissed but credit card problem fixed. The woman start arguing with him for about 20 minutes out loud, every one in shop is in tears laughing. I am not, fumes are coming out of my ears. So she tells him to go and sober up in the car.
Ok, so she ring the ISP. Get her email address I start to setup the PC and then she says:
HER: I have to go out for 5 minutes, can you keep an eye on my son?
ME: Er... Hum... Yeah sure.
Ok, the PC is setup, back in the box and the woman is still not back. I thought "screw this I have lots of work to do, let's get on with it!". So I did. The woman came back 45 minutes later, I told her that the PC was setup, just plug it and she is on. Then, this happens:
HER: Where is my son?
ME: (Shit I've lost the murderer!!!) Well, uh...
HER: (Shouting) Where is my son!! I asked you to keep an eye on him!! Where is he??
ME: (POP!!! That is the fuse blowing) I don't fucking know where your freaking son is!! He's at least fucking 21 years old!! He can walk around can he?
As I said that I actually saw him walking outside.
ME: There he is your fucking son! And you know what? Maybe you should ask him to show you his latest song!! That way, next time you lose him make sure it stays that way!!
She went cursing and all that but never saw her again.
I wonder if she is still alive?
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